tooth.”
“What the fuck you doin’?” Bill said to him. “They all got guns.”
“I didn’t mean nothing,” the man said. “What’s everybody so jumpy for?”
“Too much coffee,” I said.
Leonard, who was carrying the shotgun, said, “You must have had one too many beers already, fuckin’ with a bunch of folks got guns.”
“I’ve had one beer,” the man said.
“Must be one too many,” Leonard said. “And it’s rude not to offer us some. Everybody get a beer.”
We did. We popped the tops and sucked on them. I didn’t drink beer much anymore, but I enjoyed this one.
Leonard said, “And keep your hand out of your jacket, asshole, or you’ll wake up with it in your ass.”
The man smiled. “All right. All right. You’re all tough guys. And one tough broad. Where’d you get the midget?”
“There they go again,” Red said.
“We bought him off a souvenir rack,” Leonard said. “But we lost the funny hat came with him.”
“That’s enough,” Herman said.
“And you got a giant to go with him,” the man said. He laughed and brushed the seat of his pants off, uprighted his chair, found a fresh beer on the ground and opened it.
“Where’s the plane?” Brett said.
“In the hangar,” the man said. “I’m not supposed to fly it. I’m not supposed to have it. I had my license taken away. I used to fly puddle jumpers for the U.S. Mail.”
“And why did you have your license taken away?” I asked.
“I crashed one,” he said. “Killed the motherfucker with me, which was no loss. I didn’t like him anyway. I don’t think that bothered them so much, but I lost a lot of mail. Burned up. ’Course, I kept some things and they found out, and I ended up nearly going to jail big-time. They didn’t want the scandal, so I gave back the courier packet.”
“What was in it?” Brett asked.
“Money,” he said. “By the way. They call me Irvin.”
The shotgun building was long and dark and hot. When Irvin hit the lights dust motes swam around like little sponges underwater and dust rose up from our feet in billows, and as our eyes adjusted we saw our ride. It looked like something you’d wind up with a rubber band and toss.
“Them wings glued on?” Leonard asked.
“It’s better than it looks,” Irvin said.
“I sure as hell hope so,” Brett said. “When’s the last time you flew it?”
“Not so long ago that you no longer recall how to fly, I presume?” Red said.
“Month ago,” Irvin said. “But it’s gassed and ready, and safe, long as you don’t make too long a flight or get in too big a hurry.”
“Or want to get airborne,” Leonard said.
“It’ll get up there,” Irvin said. “It just heats up some you fly too long. Unfortunately, it’s the engine heats, not the cabin. Not unless it catches on fire. Which, if we push too hard it could.”
“Oh, that’s good,” Brett said.
“It’s warm now, but come nightfall, up there, you best have some long jammies on under your clothes. It’ll freeze your balls off. And in your case, lady, whatever’s hangin’.”
I turned to Bill. “This is it?”
Bill shrugged, “I didn’t say I could offer you Air Force One.”
“This is Negative One,” Brett said.
When night came it turned cold as Irvin predicted. We helped push the plane out of the hangar, then boarded. It was crowded in there, us with our guns, and Red ended up sitting on the floor.
The plane’s outside lights were dim, the inside control panel lights a sickly green. The motor sounded as if it would really rather not do this. The runway was bumpy. We left out of there with a bang and clatter and a sickening lurch.
We bobbed into the night sky and the engine coughed and sputtered and the propeller on the left wing stopped and started, eventually caught as it cast the remnants of a wasp nest away. Directly below us there was nothing but the dark land, and way to the left were lights, clean and clear and bright, like fallen stars. I assumed they were the lights of sleepy Echo.
We rose higher, but never really gained much altitude. The night grew darker, and Irvin was right, the plane was cold. It bit through our clothes and filled our socks and shoes and circled about us like a wraith.
Red said, “This is most unpleasant.”
“Can we drop you somewhere?” Leonard said.
“Quite amusing,” Red said.
“Yeah,” Leonard said, “well I’d like to hear you laugh on the way down.”
