“This guy, he does abortions mostly,” Herman said. “Delivers babies. He’s not a real doctor.”
“Me and Hap had a veterinarian work on us once,” Leonard said. “We’re not proud.”
“He doesn’t have access to blood,” Herman said. “He’s just telling you so you’ll know.”
“Shit,” Leonard said. “I could have told him that.”
“What we got to do is sober Irvin up,” Brett said.
Bill shook his head. “I don’t think so. We’re not talking a little drunk, we’re talking about being so fuckin’ drunk he’ll wake up speaking in tongues. Thing we got to do is let him sleep it off, lay around tomorrow, fly out when it’s solid dark. Then, if the Border Patrol doesn’t catch us, and my guess is they won’t because they never have, we end up back at the hangar. You folks go your way, and I go mine, and we never do business again.”
“But we can send you a Christmas card?” I said.
“A little candy on Valentine’s would be all right too,” Bill said.
“All this sounds like a lot of waiting for blood,” Leonard said.
“I can make it,” I said. “Leonard’s just scared I’m going to die and leave my dirty underwear under his couch. Where is Irvin?”
“He’s outside under the plane,” Bill said. “Me and Herman went and got him. He was still passed out, so we stretched him out there.”
“And Red?”
“He was at the cantina, pretty drunk. Doing handstands and stuff. He was trying to make the Mexican drunks in there understand he wanted a big dog to ride and he was showing them his dick, dipping it into a glass of tequila. He passed out on the way here. We left him in the jeep.”
“This sitting around bothers me,” Leonard said. “Those assholes will change tires on the other jeep, and someone in town will talk.”
“They might change tires,” Herman said, “but they’re going to have hell going anywhere with all the dirt I put in the gas tank. Pissed in it too. And it won’t do them a lot of good with the wires ripped out from under the hood and the gear shift bent.”
“Good for you, Herman,” I said.
“They could come by horse or mule,” Leonard said.
“They could,” Herman said. “I think they’re so stoned they’ll do good to stand up, let alone saddle and ride a horse. My guess is they got to wait about as long as Irvin’s got to wait.”
“From your mouth to God’s ear,” Brett said.
“Where’s Tillie?” I asked.
“At the back of the plane, sleeping,” Brett said. “They had her on something strong. Or she had herself on it. She’s really wiped out.”
“I think we take turns at watch,” Leonard said. “I don’t like being surprised.”
“Very well,” Bill said. “I’ll go first.”
The Mexican held out his hand, said something to Herman. Herman said, “He wants money.”
Brett picked up her purse, opened it, gave him a ten dollar bill. “That’s pretty close to tapping me out,” she said.
“Gracias,” said the little Mexican, then fired off something very fast in Spanish, got up, and left.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He hopes you don’t die,” Herman said.
It was late at night when I awoke, hurting like holy hell. Brett was sitting on the floor with her head next to the seat where I lay. When I turned to look at her, I saw she was awake.
“How you feeling?” she said.
“Shitty.”
“I’ve got some aspirin. I can get you some water.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Brett disappeared for a moment, came back with aspirin and a canteen. She had to hold my head up. I took ten aspirin and a sip of water.
“I owe you, Hap Collins,” Brett said.
“Hope you don’t think so,” I said. “Except in sexual favors, of course.”
“I’d give you a blow job, but frankly my guess is your dick stinks and you’ve bled all over it from your thigh. On top of that, you haven’t had a bath in a while.”
“Neither have you,” I said.
“Yes, but I brought perfume and I never soil my underwear.”
“Not even when I make you hot?”
“I guess that’s an exception.”
“How’s Tillie?”
