manner it worked out. It’s in my craw.”
“Frankly,” Leonard said, “it’s in my craw too. She and her old man did help us when we needed it.”
“Damn right. And Charlie, he was a good friend. He was staying at my place and was killed because whoever did this thought it was me. I want to get even.”
“Doesn’t that violate your kinder and gentler nature you’re trying to preserve?”
“It does. And I want to find out why anyone would want to kill me. What the hell could I know or have that would interest them?”
“I think it’s more like what they think you know or have,” Leonard said.
“Another thing,” John said. “Wouldn’t it be best to tell the cops? Just for one simple reason.”
“Which is?”
“They might actually catch him. I mean, come on, from what Leonard’s told me about you two guys, about the only thing you can catch is a cold.”
“Hey,” Leonard said. “We stumble around long enough, we get what we want.”
“Think about this,” John said. “Guy’s out there running around right now. You think he came all this way just to break down a door, kill Charlie, catch a plane back to Mexico?”
“Well, no,” I said.
“He could have thought you were Charlie,” Leonard said. “He somehow knew a Hap Collins was involved with Beatrice, and for whatever reason he killed her, he connects you to it, comes to kill you, gets poor Charlie, thinks his job is done, and goes home.”
“Bless Charlie,” John said. “Could be just that. But don’t you think at some point in the torture, Charlie would have been inclined to tell this big man who he was, and maybe where you were?”
“He’d done to me what he did to Charlie,” I said, “I’d have told him anything he wanted to know. I’d have sucked his goddamn dick and given him a shoeshine. I don’t see how Charlie could have kept from it.”
“Brett,” Leonard said.
“Shit,” I said.
“You stay here,” Leonard said to John.
“And why is that?”
“Because you’re the bitch in this relationship.”
We were on our way out the door when John said, “Piss on you, Leonard. You male chauvinist pig.”
“But you’re male too,” Leonard said. “So how can that be male chauvinistic? Oh, shit, they could be looking for me as well. I mean, it could be that way, right?”
“They know about me, they may know about you,” I said.
“That means they might come after me, and John’s here.”
“You are not leaving my sweet ass behind then,” John said.
Leonard rushed to his closet, took out his shotgun, plucked a few shells from an overhead shelf. We hustled over to Brett’s in John’s car, and before I got in I got my gun out of my pickup.
That morning, when I had left to go over to Charlie’s, it was my plan to drop in on him and take him to coffee. Take some coffee and doughnuts back to Brett. She had pulled a hard shift the night before and was sleeping late. I thought it would be a nice surprise. But my plans might actually have put Brett in the line of destruction.
When we pulled up in Brett’s yard, the lawn chair was still wrapped in grass and the front door was intact.
Of course, our man could have come through the back door.
I got out with my revolver in my hand, Leonard behind me with the shotgun held against his leg. John kept close to Leonard. He was carrying a fistful of shotgun shells, just in case our enemies came in waves.
John said, “That lawn chair. That’s one of ours.”
“That’s nice,” Leonard said.
“Circa nineteen ninety-five. We don’t make them like that anymore.”
“It’s a fuckin’ antique,” Leonard said. “Now shut up.”
I used my key and went in.
Everything looked like it always did.
I hurried to the bedroom, my stomach sour with fear.
Brett was in bed with the covers under her chin. She was snoring in a very unladylike fashion. I sighed, glanced up at a whirling shadow. It was her panties hanging from the slowly rotating overhead fan. That was my signal to wake her. Waking her was always worthwhile.
I gently patted her and went out, closed the door, sat down on the living room couch. Leonard sat down beside me, the shotgun draped across his knees.
“I feel drained,” I said.
“Understandable,” John said. “I’ll find a pot and boil some water. Uh… Brett does have tea, doesn’t she?”
Leonard looked at me, said, “See?”
About twenty minutes later, Brett came out of her bedroom. We were sitting on the couch sipping tea. We turned to look at her. She was wearing a half T-shirt that covered the tops of her breasts. She wasn’t wearing panties.
She looked at us. We looked at her.
“Well,” she said, “ain’t this a fine howdy-do? You on the couch, and me dressed like Huckleberry Hound. I hope you’ll excuse me.”
She turned, showing us her ass, and disappeared back into the bedroom. She came out a moment later with shorts on. As she came into the room, she said, “You know, it’s hard to act cool when you’ve just shown three men your beaver and found your underwear dangling from an overhead fan.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“If it helps any,” Leonard said, “me and John go for dicks.”
“And I’ve seen it before,” I said.
“Well now… Is there still some tea?”
“There is,” John said. “I’ll fix you up.”
“A gal shows off her canoe, even if it’s by accident, you’d hope someone thought it was worth riding in.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” I said. “I’m very interested.”
“It looked very nice,” Leonard said. “I guess. I mean, I don’t really know what all of that’s about, you know.”
“You mean you’re still queer? Sight of me didn’t jerk you into a heterosexual frame of mind?”
“ ’Fraid not,” Leonard said.
“But if anyone could,” John said, “I’m sure it would be you.”
“Thank you, John. I’ll cherish that. May I ask what I owe the joy of this gathering to? I’m kind of surprised you didn’t fix me breakfast, Hap. I figured a fuckin’ like I gave you last night ought to at least warrant toast and coffee. Good God, all three of you have the longest goddamn faces.”
“Actually, I went out for doughnuts, but I got detoured.”
“Have I faded from your thoughts that quickly.”
“There’s been something come up. Charlie.”
“Is he in the bathroom? Now he’s a hetero. He would have respected my entrance. I can tell by the way he looks at me with my clothes on, he would have loved a view of the canyon. Last I heard, he wasn’t gettin’ any, so that might make me look even better.”
“If he were in the bathroom, he’d be horrified at what he missed,” I said. “But he’s not. And that’s why we’re glum. Hon, Charlie’s dead.”
“What?”
I told her the story. I told her the background.
“I’ll be damned. I can’t believe it. Charlie’s dead.”
“Yeah. It’s hard to believe.”
“We just saw him yesterday.”
“I put you in danger, Brett. I didn’t even know I did it. Somehow, sorry doesn’t seem like enough to say. I don’t know what would be enough.”