what you have in mind. I should have thought of it some time ago.”
“We are masters of crime,” I said.
“She is in this hotel,” Cesar said. “It is where she always stays. She will go to the Museum of Anthropology. She will shop, and she will come to the restaurant here to have her dinner. This is her schedule in the past.”
“What if she changes it?” I said.
“It is possible, but I will chance that she does not.”
“You’re chancing our money, Cesar,” I said. “I only have so much. I can’t run around all over Mexico.”
“Trust me,” Cesar said. “Tell them, Jim Bob.”
“Trust him,” Jim Bob said.
“I feel better,” Brett said.
“What’s up with the Museum of Anthropology?” Leonard asked.
“That is for Juan Miguel, or so I believe,” Cesar said. “I think she is trying to sell certain pieces that Juan Miguel has to the museum. She goes there each time she comes here. Juan Miguel, as I’m sure my friend Jim Bob has explained to you, is known to have an extensive collection, known to traffic in antiquities. So it is possible.”
“And maybe,” Brett said, “the reason she’s his mistress is she shares Juan Miguel’s interests. Maybe she isn’t just a poke piece, but someone who is smart, sophisticated, and loves anthropology and archaeology, and maybe his wife doesn’t.”
“And she’s a poke piece,” Jim Bob said.
“That too,” Brett said. “But Hap and I are attracted to each other because we share interests.”
“Like what?” Jim Bob said.
“Chickens. He protects them, and I deep-fry them.”
“I was once asked to masturbate a rooster,” I said.
“I don’t even want to know about that,” Jim Bob said.
“I think that I would, senor,” said Cesar.
Even Ferdinand looked interested.
I told them about being offered a job to garner rooster sperm. Cesar laughed as if I had told him the best joke he had ever heard.
Brett said, “That’s my man.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Hard to believe I turned them down.”
“About this thing we’re doing?” Leonard asked. “You know, the thing that’s not as exciting as jerking a chicken’s nub, but this thing with the woman… She has her bodyguards with her, of course?”
“Of course,” Cesar said.
“Are they big?”
“Big enough, senor.”
“As in big and mean?”
“I would say so. Yes, senor, big and mean.”
“Shit.”
“Armed of course?” I asked.
“Unless those big bumps under their arms are breasts that have slid sideways, I believe so, senor.”
“Maybe we could talk them into just arm wrestling us for her?” Leonard said.
“Will you two just shut up,” Jim Bob said.
I looked at Leonard and grinned. He wrinkled his mouth into a near smile. Brett reached over, patted me on the leg. She either loved my humor or was kind enough to make me think so.
“The best time to grab the woman would be when they come up from dinner to their room,” Cesar said. “They have a very nice room at the top of the hotel.”
“You know they’re in this room because they always are?” I asked.
“Yes. Juan Miguel pays for this, so he sees she has the best. Tomorrow, that will be the day when she does the serious shopping. It is too late today, and I am too tired. I say we have a good dinner, rest, and tomorrow, I will tail them. Is that how you say it, Jim Bob, tail them?”
“Yeah,” Jim Bob said.
“I will tail them, and then when she has her dinner, you will be prepared when she comes up, and you will take care of the guards-”
“Hey, I don’t want to kill these guys,” I said. “That’s not part of the deal. We want Juan Miguel and the walking haystack, but these other guys, I don’t want to kill them.”
“Then do not,” Cesar said. “But take care of them. Make your choice. Take the woman. Make her quiet.”
“Then what?” Leonard said. “Do we knock her unconscious, beat her up in the hall?”
“Do not worry,” Cesar said. “I have brought the chloroform. You put it on a rag, give her a whiff, and she will fall to the ground. You can do it with the guards too, but they may not fall so fast. They are big and strong and most certainly willful. I leave that to you.”
“You know,” I said to Jim Bob, “I think your additions to my basic plan aren’t all that better than the basic plan. My plan sucks, and this is better?”
“Believe me,” Jim Bob said. “It’s better. And there’s more to it. Most of it will be passed on to you on a need-to-know basis.”
“Boss,” Leonard said. “Dat a good idea. We don’t wants lots of stuffs in our haids might be confusin’.”
“You got that right,” Jim Bob said.
“I suppose Jim Bob has told you that you are all listed under false names?” Cesar said.
“He failed to mention that,” I said.
“I was going to,” Jim Bob said. He told us our false names.
Cesar said, “Meet here at four P.M. tomorrow, local time. If you have watches, make sure they are set correctly. Come to this room and wait until you get a phone call.”
“From who?” I asked.
“From me. I will be watching her. Ferdinand will let you in so you can wait. I will call when they are near.”
“What about guns?” Leonard said.
“I will take care of that, my friend,” Cesar said.
Jim Bob said, “I’m going to my room now, going to watch a little Mexican TV, then get a good night’s sleep. What about you, Leonard?”
“I got a key,” Leonard said. “I’ll come along shortly.”
“Suit yourself,” Jim Bob said, and left the room.
Leonard went with me and Brett to our room, had another drink. I said, “This thing is starting to involve more people than the U.S. Army. And it seems like there’s more people to hurt all the time. All I want to do is nab the woman, set her up as an insurance policy for us so we can do what we have to do.”
“It’ll be okay, Hap,” Leonard said. He stood up. “Good night, brother. Good night, Brett.”
30
Next morning after breakfast I couldn’t bring myself to sit in the hotel room, because all I did then was brood on our plans. The old saw about revenge is a dish best served cold is bullshit. Revenge is only sweet in the heat of the moment.
Brett was willing, so we went walking. The streets were crowded and the air was blistering to the eyes. Within fifteen minutes the pollution had done a job on my throat. It felt as if a little man with a bad temper had moved into my mouth and sandpapered my tonsils.
We walked over to the Anthropology Museum and looked around. I loved it. Deep inside me I felt old longings. As a child I had often thought of teaching, perhaps archaeology or history. Here I was, in my forties, a night guard in a chicken plant. I didn’t even have a college education, just a piece of one. There wasn’t much point thinking about what might have been, but as we walked about and looked at things, I thought about it
