“Most definitely not… you don’t, do you?”
“Now what do you think?”
“I don’t know what to think about much of anything anymore. I was actually thinking about Brett. And I was thinking about that story Tonto told us.”
“You believe it?”
“I do.”
“Me too. Do you think he can bend a tire iron?”
“I do.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“He scares you a little, doesn’t he, Leonard?”
“Me? Hell no.”
“He scares me.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Well, all right. He scares me a little. I think he made me pee-pee some in my pants.”
“Is that fear or sexuality?”
“I do kind of find him attractive,” Leonard said, “but, alas, he’s not my type. He’s heterosexual. That always puts a damper on things. And another thing—he’s a killer.”
“So are we.”
“Not for money. Not for any reason that isn’t self-defense or the defense of someone else.”
“So we’re noble?”
“Nope,” Leonard said. “We’re two guys trying to be like heroes, and the problem is, we’re just two guys. Though I, of course, am highly attractive and hung like an elephant and have nifty pajamas and smooth black skin.”
“I have bunny shoes.”
“Yep, but you didn’t bring them.”
“There is that…. How about John? How’s things? Have you called home since we been on the road?”
“I have. He told me to eat shit.”
“Not good.”
“Nope. Not good. These days he doesn’t find me that attractive, which is something I can’t quite wrap my mind around. I look in the mirror, I’m pretty satisfied.”
“So what did he say?”
“He said don’t call anymore, he has things to work out.”
“That stinks.”
“He thinks Jesus is pulling his ear, trying to get him over there on the good side with the straights. Thinks suddenly he’s gonna lose interest in the rod and go to the hole punch.”
“Maybe it’s the devil pulling his ear.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t like it. We had a good thing going.”
“Sucks.”
“He used to suck, and I liked it. Now he doesn’t suck. I don’t like being without him, Hap. I don’t like someone’s mythology getting in the way of my romance.”
“I know.”
“It’s like you being without Brett.”
“I know that too. And I miss her.”
“We should really give up on the adventures and stay home.”
“Yep. But we didn’t really have a choice here.”
“We could have gone to trial. I think we’d have been no-billed. It was self-defense.”
“But it was nasty self-defense.”
“This is Texas,” Leonard said.
“There is that. Let’s go to sleep.”
“Hap?”
“Yep.”
“Will you tell me a story?”
