She felt as if the air were being squeezed from her lungs. Arching her back, she managed to take a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she said.
“I was such a jerk. About everything. I should’ve respected your decision. I was just…hurt and confused. But that’s no excuse. There is no excuse.”
“Temporary insanity?”
He made a feeble laugh.
“I’ll come over, if you want.” Alison could hardly believe she had said that. There had been no decision. At least not a conscious one.
“Really?” He sounded alive again. “Tonight?”
“What time?”
“Oh, God, Alison. I can’t believe it.”
“We’ll see how it goes.”
“It’ll go great. I promise. How about five?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll make us something terrific for dinner. I’ll pick up some champagne. It’ll be great. You’re incredible, did you know that?”
“I don’t want any hassles, though, okay? We’ll just have a friendly dinner and talk and see how it goes.”
“I’ve missed you so much.”
Alison’s throat tightened. “I’ve missed you, too. A lot. See you at five.”
“Would you like me to pick you up?”
“No. Thanks anyway. I think I’ll walk over. I need to stop by Baxter Hall for a second.”
“The freshman dorm?”
“I just need to talk to someone. Don’t worry, I haven’t thrown you over for a freshman. Or for anyone else, as a matter of fact.”
“Well, that’s good to know. Not that I’d blame you, after the way I treated you.”
“No more apologies, all right? Let’s just start out, from right now, with a clean slate. All that other stuff is water under the bridge, or over the dam, or wherever the hell the water is supposed to go.”
Like down your chest, she thought, and slid the towel over her wet neck and breasts.
“That’s fine with me,” Evan said.
“Okay. See you in a while.”
“If you can make it over sooner than five, that’d be fine.”
“We’ll see.”
“Take it easy, Al,” he said.
“Yeah. You, too.”
She hung up the phone, leaned back in the chair, and pulled her robe shut. A moment later, Helen’s door opened. “Did you catch all that?” Alison asked.
“Catch what?” Helen asked. “So what’s the verdict?”
“I’m going over for dinner tonight.”
“Well, say hey! Score one for love and true romance.”
“I don’t know about that, but I’m going.”
“What was that about Baxter Hall?”
“You
“No. Who, me? But I couldn’t help catching a word here and there. You think Celia’s over at Baxter?”
“I don’t know. But I guess I’ll drop by and check things out. She’s probably not there, but maybe someone knows what’s up.”
“Gonna drop in on Roland?”
Alison wrinkled her nose. “He’s Jason’s roomy. If anyone knows where they are, he should.”
“That’ll be loads of fun.”
“Yeah, fun like the dry heaves.”
“You could phone instead. The next best thing to being there.”
“It’s on the way.”
Helen lowered her bushy eyebrows. “You don’t think anything’s wrong, do you?”
“I’m starting to get a little worried, aren’t you?”
“Celia’s a big girl.”
“She’s been gone a long time.”
“You want me to go with you for moral support?”
“You’d have to get dressed.”
Neither of them smiled.
“It’s all right,” Alison said. “I can handle it.”
“Well, don’t let him get you alone. Stay out of the room.”
“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” She pushed herself up from the chair. “I’d better get a move on.”
Alison went up to her room. Sitting at her desk, she pulled open the drawer and took out the photographs of Evan.
We used to have great times together, she thought as she looked at the pictures. Maybe it isn’t over. Maybe this will be a new start, and everything will be wonderful from now on. Let’s hope so.
But don’t count on it.
She pinned the photos onto her bulletin board and stared at them.
In one, he was holding her hand.
In another, they were kissing.
In a third, they were seated on a blanket on the grass beneath an oak tree. Evan looked very pleased with himself. Though the photo didn’t show it, Alison remembered that his right hand was inside the rear of her shorts and panties, pressed tight against her rump.
Not long after that one was taken, they had gone to his apartment and made love on the living room floor. It was the only time they ever did it with Alison on top. She sat astride him, leaning forward and bracing herself up with stiff arms, Evan fondling and squeezing and sucking her breasts as she squirmed on him, impaled.
The memory of it sent a warm shimmer through Alison.
You have to get through tonight without any of that, she told herself. Even if it’s only tonight. One night without sex, no matter how much you both might want it. Otherwise, you’ll never know if there’s more.
Sex is like the knot that’s been holding us together, she thought. I’ve got to untie it, just once, just to see whether we come apart. Just to see if there’s another knot in the rope binding us to each other—a knot like love.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jake drove past the elementary school where Kimmy would be attending kindergarten next fall if…don’t think it, he warned himself. To die before she even…
Stop!
He rubbed his forehead. He felt so damn tired. If only he could somehow make all this go away.
When they’d met briefly at headquarters to organize the search, the other six men had all been full of assurances but their eyes gave them away. They expected the worst, and except for Barney they didn’t even
Jake saw a blonde girl on a swing of the school playground. His heart lurched. He hit the brake.
From this distance, the girl looked a lot like Kimmy. A man was standing behind the swing, pushing her. She wore blue jeans and a white T-shirt. Kimmy was supposed to be dressed in a pink blouse and a green skirt.
But Jake remembered a news story about a girl who’d disappeared in a shopping mall. Her mother alerted security. The mall exits were immediately sealed. And the girl was recognized by her mother when the abductors tried to take her past the guards. Only she no longer looked like a girl. After grabbing her, the two men had rushed
