The Midnight Tour

“Nope, just thought he’d visit the attic. Which is off limits, you know.”

“I know.”

“So Dana, she goes up to get him and all of a sudden the kid lets out this scream like he just bumped into Freddie Krueger or something. I can’t see too much on account of all these rubber-neckers around the door, but I hear the kid yelling that something’s after him. Next thing you know, out Dana comes carrying him.”

“Carrying him?”

“Yeah! Like she’d snatched him off his feet. Had him hugged like this.” John demonstrated with his arms. “There’s an idea for you, pal. Run up into the attic, maybe she’ll carry you down.”

“I’ll be sure to do that. Was the kid okay?”

“Sure. He was fine. Just scared shitless. But then, get this. Dana, she’s looking the kid over and all of a sudden the mom hauls off and whacks him across the face. Which really pisses off Dana. Next thing you know, she’s yelling at Mom for hitting the kid, and the gal hocks one on her.”

“She spit on Dana?”

“Yeah! Man, you should’ve seen it. A big old gob. Lands on her shirt. Right here.” He pointed at his own shirt, just above the pocket. “Note how I’m not saying word one about it being on her tit.”

“Very decent of you.”

“Anyway, so Dana grabs her and pins her to a wall and pukes on her.”

“What?”

“She upchucked all over the gal.”

Owen grimaced.

“Man, it was awesome! God only knows what Dana’d been eating, but...”

“That’s okay,” Owen said. “You don’t have to go into it.”

“Whatever it was...”

“Hey!”

“All right, all right. Sorry.”

“So what happened after she threw up on the mother?”

“That’s when the reenforcements showed up. Lynn, Sharon and some guy...”

“Must’ve been Clyde.”

“Yeah. So Sharon and Clyde, they escort mom and the kid out of the house. I heard ‘em say something about cleaning her up. Man, you should’ve seen her. She was dripping puke all down the hall.”

“What happened to Dane?”

“Well, Lynn shut the attic door and kept people away from the mess. While she was doing that, Dana went off and came back with a mop and stuff. Then Lynn sort of directed traffic while Dana took care of the mess.”

“Don’t they have a janitor?”

“Nah. Lynn takes care of everything. She’s Janice Crogan’s daughter, you know that’”

“hurl? Really?”

“Her step-daughter,” John explained. “She’s married to Lynn’s dad.”

“I had no idea.”

“And Janice is away on a trip...”

“I knew that.”

“So L^ynn’s in charge of the whole works till she gets back.”

“How do you know all this stuft?”

John shrugged. “Been around a couple of days. And I pay attenlion. I keep my eyes open. I listen. People say stuff. You put two and two together.”

“What do you know about Dana?”

“Has a weak stomach.”

“Very funny.”

“Doesn’t like it if you hit kids.”

“I’ll try to restrain myself around her.”

“Great set of hooters.”

“Stop that.”

“She’s living with Lynn.”

“How do you know?” Owen asked.

“Saw them drive in together this morning.”

“I saw that, too. Doesn’t mean they live together. Maybe they car pool, or...”

“Well, I also heard some things.”

“Like what?”

“Like Dana has some kind of hot date tonight.”

The news gave Owen a sick feeling.

“They were talking about Lynx picking her up later and bringing her home. Home being Lynn’s place. So obviously they’re living together.”

“She has a date?”

“Buck up, little buckeroo.” John slapped his shoulder. “At least she’s not a Lesbo.”

“Who’s she seeing?”

“Didn’t catch that part. All I know is, he’s a guy. And it sounds like Dana hasn’t gone out with him before.”

Is it me? Owen suddenly wondered. Did John overhear them talking about a date with me?

No way!

But we did have that nice talk this morning, Owen reminded himself. And Dana did seem to like me. A little, at least. Maybe. Thought I was a jerk for ditching Monica, but her eyes got wet when I said that stuff about how she was everything a guy could ever want.

I touched her. I moved her.

And I promised not to bother her...unless she wanted me to. Joking like. But she didn’t take it like a joke. She said she would think about it.

And she asked where I’m staying tonight!

My God, Owen thought. Maybe she does plan to see me.

I might be the hot date!

But I told her I’d be at the Welcome Inn. I’ve gotta get over there.

What if they don’t have any vacancies?

He checked his wristwatch.

Almost two o’clock.

“What’s up?” John asked. “Wishing you were the lucky guy?”

“Sort of.”

“Don’t waste your time, pal. Guys like you and me, we’re never the lucky guy. Not when it comes to babes like Dana or Lynn. They got a word for guys like us.”

“What’s hat?”

“Losers.”

“Speak for yourself.”

John laughed. “Only one way you’d ever stand a chance with a gal like Dana—knock her out and tie her up.”

“You’re disgusting.”

He laughed again and said, “Truth hurts.”

“Fuck you.”

“Wanta?”

Owen snarled at him.

Laughing, John reached over suddenly and pinched his nipple.

Owen yelped “Ouch!” and swatted his hand away.

“Not much up top,” John said.