The Midnight Tour

“Plenty do. You probably would’ve, except you got out in time.”

Dana tried to smile pleasantly. “Well,” she said, “I’m glad I didn’t.”

“You know what it is?”

“What what is?”

“Purely psychological.”

“Ah.”

Nodding, he pulled a pack of Camels out of his shirt pocket. He held it toward Dana.

“No thanks,” she said.

He took one for himself and lit it up.

“See, you tell yourself it’s just a house. You’re just a tour guide in a house full of dummies...That includes the tourists. The dummies.”

She smiled and nodded.

“So, you tell yourself nothing is going on. But plenty is going on. It’s not just a regular house with dummies inside. You know what really happened there, and you can’t hide from it. The more you try to hide from the reality of the place, the more your subconscious works on you.” He nodded briskly. “You know what that does to you?”

“What?”

“It screws up your entire system. Your whole internal organic structure knows where you are. So you don’t breathe right. It’s like you’re afraid to take a deep breath when you’re in there, like the air is full of disease because of all the death and decay. And you don’t want to suck it into your own body. Do you see what I mean?”

'Sure,” she said.

A guy this handsome, she thought, shouldn’t be cursed with such nutty ideas.

“So, see, what you’re doing to yourself, you’re giving your brain a case of air starvation. You know why you feel like you’re suffocating in there?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause you are. You’re trying subconsciously to hold your breath, see?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Does that make sense to you?”

“Sure.”

“‘Cause, subconsciously, you don’t want to be breathing the fucked-up air inside that house.”

“Right.”

“You get it?” he asked, the cigarette bobbing between his lips.

“I get it.”

“See how it’s all in your mind?”

'Yeah.”

“Now. Do you know how to fix it?”

“By breathing?”

“Absolutely. But it ain’t that easy. See, your subconscious has a mind all its own.”

This time, Dana’s smile was genuine.

Clyde smiled back at her, looking very pleased with himself.

“You can’t just order your subconscious mind to let you breathe. Doesn’t work that way. What you’ve gotta do is come to terms with Beast House.”

“Come to terms with it?”

“Absolutely. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, you know.”

She managed a chuckle.

“Denial’s behind all your problems.” He took a deep drag, then removed the cigarette from his mouth and pointed it at her. “What you need to do is accept Beast House.”

What a load, she thought.

She said, “Ah. Okay.”

“And it’ll accept you,” he added.

She nodded.

“I can help you with that.”

“You can?”

“You want to get over it, don’t you?”

“Sure.”

“You almost have to get over it. You’re a Beast House guide. How can you be a guide if the place makes you sick?”

“Wouldn’t be easy.”

“I just so happen to have a foolproof treatment. Are you interested?”

“I guess so.”

“Good. After work, we’ll go and have dinner together and get started.”

“Started?”

“On your treatment.” He tossed the cigarette stub to the pavement and mashed it under his shoe.

“During dinner tonight?” Dana asked.

He flashed a smile. “Everybody has to eat. How about the Carriage House restaurant? Have you ever eaten there?”

“No, but...”

“It’s the best eatery in town. The only place in town where it’s possible to get a decent dinner.”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” she said, shaking her head and trying to look apologetic. “Not tonight.”

“It’ll be on me.”

“Well, thank you. That’s very nice of you, Clyde, but I’ve already made plans for tonight.”

“So?”

“What do you mean?” Dana asked.

“Make new plans.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“It wouldn’t be right.”

Smirking, he shook his head and looked as if he pitied her.

“Well,” he said, “it’s your life.”

“I can’t go back on my word. I’m sorry. Maybe some other night.”

“Maybe not,” he said. “This might be your only chance.”

Lord, I hope so.

Dana shrugged, frowned slightly and said, “Well, if it is, it is. That’d be up to you, I guess.”

“Once bitten, twice shy.”

“Nobody bit you.”

With a smile that didn’t look very friendly, he said, “You’re making a very big mistake, you know.”

“I guess I’ll just have to live with it.”

“You don’t have to live with it. Just blow off this other guy while you’ve still got the chance.”

“Can’t.”

“Who is he?”

“Nobody. None of your business.”

“It’s Warren, right?”

“It’s not Warren.”

Wish it was.