The Midnight Tour

“Ah, they’re somewhere. I don’t know. I’ll meet one someday. I have every confidence.”

“Guys must always be hitting on you.”

“Oh, sure. Not a day goes by. Hardly an hour goes by. But most of them are yucks. Weirdos, creeps and jerks.”

“But not all of them...”

“No, no. There are some really cool guys who come on to me now and then. And they always turn out to be visiting from Juno or Milbourne or some other place a zillion miles away.”

“Maybe you’re just too picky.”

“Ha!”

“What about the locals?” Dana asked.

“Give me a break.”

“There’s not one guy in all of Malcasa Point you don’t consider a loser?”

“Nobody I’d want to go with.”

Heart pounding faster, Dana asked, “So, what’s the matter with Warren?”

“Ah-ha! Warren! I knew you’d be getting around to Warren. Surprised it took you this long.”

“So, what’s wrong with him”

“Did I say something was wrong with him?”

“Well, I guess you lumped him in with all the other losers and ne’er-do-wells in town. What’s his problem?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Sort of. All we really did was talk for a few minutes at lunch. And I saw him when he left work. I haven’t gotten a chance to know him yet, but he seems like a nice enough guy.”

“Oh, he’s nice, all right.”

“Is he gay?”

Tuck blurted out a laugh. “Gay? Warren? Where’d you get that idea?”

“Clyde said he is.”

“Oh. Clyde. Clyde would. Clyde’s a shit. He’ll say anything. He probably told you that because he wants you.”

“Well, he ain’t a-gonna get me.”

“Just never believe a word out of Clyde’s mouth. And don’t let him get you alone. He’s not only a liar, he’s a sneak. I wouldn’t put anything past him. Especially where you’re concerned. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re about ten times better looking than most gals. He’d probably do just about anything for a whack at you.”

“Terrific. Thanks for the warning.”

“He’s already nailed every gal on the staff.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Well, not Betty.”

“You?”

“Oh, yes. Even me.” Tuck grimaced, then tipped up her glass and gulped it empty. “How about a refill?”

Dana finished her wine. She handed the glass to Tuck.

“How did he manage that?” she asked.

“Smooth talking, flattery, claims of undying love.” Tuck stood up, turned, and started pouring. “Booze,” she said. “A kiss here, a sneaky hand there. One thing leads to another. You know how it goes.”

“Afraid so.”

“My main problem was, I believed all his garbage. I trusted him. Make sure you don’t.”

“Not a chance.”

“Don’t believe a word out of his mouth.”

“Did he get Rhonda?”

“You bet.”

“My God. The poor kid. She seems so...innocent and vulnerable.”

“She never knew what hit her.” Tuck handed a full glass to Dana. “I’d even warned her about Clyde, but she went for him anyway. He lured her, caught her, fucked her and dumped her. The same as he does to everyone.”

“He won’t get me.”

“Just never let your guard down.”

“If he tries, he dies.”

Tuck laughed and shook her head.

“If Clyde’s done all this stuff, how come he’s still working here? Shouldn’t you fire him?”

“I’d love to. But he pretty much behaves himself on the job. He saves his big seductions for after hours. And he hasn’t broken any laws that I’m aware of. He just employs the standard, old-fashioned, tried and true methods of seduction. So far, at least. I’ve discussed the situation with Janice, but she won’t fire him.”

“Has he nailed her?”

Janice? Hey, bite your tongue. You’re talking about my dad’s wife, pal!” She stopped smiling. A moment later, she said, “I can’t imagine Clyde has gotten to Janice. For one thing, he’s probably afraid to try. I mean, she is the owner. If he nailed her and dumped her like he does everyone else, she’d can his ass in a heartbeat. Besides, even if he had the guts to make the try, I bet he’d strike out. Janice really loves my dad. There’s no way she’d let any other guy touch her. And she can be tough as nails. You know the stuff she’s gone through. She takes shit from no one.”

“So why won’t she fire him?”

“His job performance is excellent. If she fired him, she’d be setting herself up for a lawsuit. You can’t just go around firing people unless their job performance sucks or they commit a crime or something. Even then, they’ll sue you.”

“It’s a wonderful world.”

“Well, Clyde’s gonna screw up, one of these days. When he does, I’ll be there and make sure he goes down for it.” She took a drink of wine, then lowered her glass until its base seemed to rest on the bubbly white water. Smiling, she said, “Maybe you should go out with him. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll assault you.”

“Oh, thanks for the suggestion. Real nice.”

Then you can file criminal charges against him, and...”

“Give me a break,” Dana said. “I don’t care what kind of an asshole he is, I’m not going to set him up. I want nothing to do with him.”

“Yeah, well...” Tuck shrugged and grinned. “I knew you wouldn’t go for it. You’re too much of a Girl Scout.”

“Dam right.”

“A goody-two-shoes.”

“Let’s not push it, babe.”

“Anyway,” Tuck said, “I wouldn’t let you do something like that. I was just kidding around. The best thing you can do is stay out of his way.Don’t even talk to him if you can help it.”

“I didn’t want to talk to him before I knew all this. He just rubbed me the wrong way.”

“He’ll rub you any way he can.”

“He won’t get the opportunity.”

“Let’s hope not.”

They both sat in silence for a while and sipped their wine.

Though the water’ no longer seemed terribly hot, Dana felt awfully warm inside and out. With her free hand, she wiped sweat off her face.

When her glass was empty, she reached around and set it on the concrete.