object or subject Nirvana." "Then why do you receive fear?" Tomiko asked in a low voice.
"I don't know. I can't see how awareness of objects, of others, could arise: an unperceiving response... But there was an uneasiness, for days. And then when I lay between the two trees and my blood was on their roots -- " Osden's
Vaster Than Empires and More SlowA-119
face glittered with sweat. "It became fear," he said shrilly, "only fear."
"If such a function existed," Harfex said, "it would not be capable of conceiving of a self- moving, material entity, or responding to one. It could no more become aware of us than we can *become aware' of Infinity."
" The silence of those infinite expanses terrifies me,'" muttered Tomiko. "Pascal was aware of Infinity. By way of fear."
"To a forest," Mannon said, "we might appear as forest fires. Hurricanes. Dangers. What moves quickly is dangerous, to a plant The rootless would be alien, terrible. And if it is mind, it seems only too probable that it might become aware of Osden, whose own mind is open to connection with all others so long as he's conscious, and who was lying in pain and afraid within it, actually inside it. No wonder it was afraid -- "
"Not 'it,'" Harfex said. "There is no being, no huge creature, no person! There could at most be only a function -- "
"There is only a fear," Osden said.
They were all still a while, and heard the stillness outside.
"Is that what I feel all the time coming up behind me?" Jenny Chong asked, subdued.
Osden nodded. "You all feel it, deaf as you are. Eskwana's the worst off, because he actually has some empathic capacity. He could send if he learned how, but he's too weak, never will be anything but a medium."
"Listen, Osden," Tomiko said, "you can send. Then send to it -- the forest, the fear out there -- tell it that we won't hurt it Since it has, or is, some sort of affect that translates into what we feel as emotion, can't you translate back? Send out a message, We are harmless, we are friendly."
"You must know that nobody can emit a false empathic message, Haito.
You can't send something that doesn't exist"
12 0 JT BUFFALO GALS
"But we don't intend harm, we are friendly." "Are we? In the forest, when you picked me up, did you feel friendly?"
"No. Terrified. But that's -- it, the forest, the plants, not my own fear, isn't it?"
"What's the difference? It's all you felt Can't you see," and Osden's voice rose in exasperation, "why I dislike you and you dislike me, all of you? Can't you see that I retransmit every negative or aggressive affect you've felt towards me since we first met? I return your hostility, with thanks. I do it in self-defense. Like Porlock. It is self-defense, though; it's the only technique I developed to replace my original defense of total withdrawal from others. Unfortunately it creates a closed circuit, self-sustaining and self-reinforcing. Your initial reaction to me was the instinctive antipathy to a cripple; by now of course it's hatred. Can you fail to see my point? The forest mind out there transmits only terror, now, and the only message I can send it is terror, because when exposed to it I can feel nothing except terror!"
"What must we do, then?" said Tomiko, and Mannon replied promptly,
"Move camp. To another continent If there are plant-minds there, they'll be slow to notice us, as this one was; maybe they won't notice us at all." ||
"It would be a considerable relief," Osden observedi stiffly. The others had been watching him with a new curij f osity. He had revealed himself, they had seen him as he was, a helpless man in a trap.
Perhaps, like Tomiko, they had seen that the trap itself, his crass and cruel egotism, was their own construction, not his. They had built the cage and locked him in it, and like a caged ape he threw filth out through the bars. If, meeting him, they had offered trust, if they had been strong enough to offer him love, how ( might he have appeared to them?
None of them could have done so, and it was too lat Vaster Than Empires and More Slow "A-121
now. Given time, given solitude, Tomiko might have built up with him a slow resonance of feeling a consonance of trust, a harmony; but there was no time, their job must be done. There was not room enough for the cultivation of so great a thing, and they must make do with sympathy, with pity, the small change of love. Even that much had given her strength, but it was nowhere near enough for him. She could see in his flayed face now his savage resentment of their curiosity, even of her
pity.
"Go lie down, that gash is bleeding again," she said, and he obeyed her.
Next morning they packed up, melted down the spray-form hangar and living quarters, lifted Gum on mechanical drive and took her halfway round World 4470, over the red and green lands, the many warm green seas. They had picked out a likely spot on continent G: a prairie, twenty thousand square kilos of windswept graminiformes. No forest was within a hundred kilos of the site, and there were no lone trees or groves on the plain. The plant-forms occurred only in large species-
colonies, never intermingled, except for certain tiny ubiquitous saprophytes and spore-bearers. The team sprayed holomeld over structure forms, and by evening of the thirty-two-hour day were settled in to the new camp. Eskwana was still asleep and Porlock still sedated, but everyone else was cheerful. "You can breathe here! " they kept saying.
Osden got on his feet and went shakily to the doorway; leaning there he looked through twilight over the dim reaches of the swaying grass that was not grass. There was a faint, sweet odor of pollen on the wind; no sound but the soft, vast sibilance of wind. His bandaged head cocked a little, the empath stood motionless for a long time. Darkness came, and the stars, lights in the windows of the distant house of Man. The wind had ceased, there was no sound. He listened.
122-ABUFFALO GALS
In the long night Haito Tomiko listened. She lay still and heard the blood in her arteries, the breathing of sleepers, the wind blowing, the dark veins running the dreams advancing the vast static of stars increasing as the universe died slowly, the sound of death walking. She struggled out of her bed, fled the tiny solitude of her cubicle.
Eskwana alone slept. Porlock lay straitjacketed, raving softly in his obscure native tongue. Olleroo and Jenny Chong were playing cards, grim-faced. Poswet To was in the therapy niche, plugged in. Asnanifoil was drawing a mandala, the Third Pattern of the Primes. Mannon and Harfex were sitting up with Osden.
She changed the bandages on Osden's head. His lank, reddish hair, where she had not had to shave it, looked strange. It was salted with white, now. Her hands shook as she worked. Nobody had yet said anything
"How can the fear be here too?" she said, and her voice rang flat and false in the terrific silence.
"It's not just the trees; the grasses... "
"But we're twelve thousand kilos from where we were this morning we left it on the other side of the planet"
"It's all one," Osden said. "One big green thought How long does it take a thought to get from one side of your brain to the other?"
"It doesn't think. It isn't thinking" Harfex said, lifelessly. "It's merely a network of processes. The branches, the epiphytic growths, the roots with those nodal junctures between individuals: they must all be capable of transmitting electrochemical impulses. There are no individual plants, then, properly speaking. Even the pollen is part of the linkage, no doubt, a sort of windbome sentience, connecting overseas. But it is not conceivable. That all the biosphere of a planet should be one network of communications, sensitive, irrational, immortal, isolated... "
"Isolated," said Osden. "That's it! That's the fear. It isn't Vaster Than Empires and More Slow "A-123
that we're motile, or destructive. It's just that we are. We are other.