Get Shorty: A Novel

this offhand manner she had about her, talking a lot but in no hurry. Maybe her mind somewhere else. Not what he’d heard about dynamic women executives. Elaine sat down, now the four of them around a coffee table where there was a big ashtray loaded with butts. She brought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of her jacket saying, “Mr. Lovejoy . . .” and Chili got ready to take his first meeting at a movie studio.

Harry: “What hooked me, Elaine, is the theme. Redemption and retribution, the little guy’s triumph over the system.”

Elaine: “Yeah . . . well, I’m as turned on by redemption and retribution, Harry, as anyone; but what’s the system he triumphs over?”

Harry: “The legal system.”

Elaine: “I don’t see the ending exactly as a triumph. The man who killed his boy is dead, but Lovejoy would still owe—what is it, a hundred thousand to somebody, the guy’s heirs?”

Harry: “We’re revising the ending . . .”

Elaine: “Good.”

Harry: “Roxy has brought Lovejoy to court, but the case is still pending when Roxy is killed. So Lovejoy keeps his flower shop, doesn’t have to pay anything.”

Elaine: “Uh-huh, yeah . . . But what about motivation? Why he goes after the guy with a video camera.”

Harry: “Why? To see justice done.”

Elaine: “But it isn’t. The guy gets his license revoked again—so what?”

Harry: “What we plan to do as part of revising the ending, is have Lovejoy do something to cause Roxy’s death. I don’t mean murder him, but not have Lovejoy just standing there either.”

Elaine: “That gets us back to his motivation. I can’t see this mingy florist becoming so vindictive.”

Harry: “Who, Lovejoy?”

Elaine: “Even his name.”

Harry: “We’re thinking of changing it. No, but the idea—here’s a guy you think is a schlub, right? But beneath that quiet exterior he’s passionate, impulsive and extremely likable. Once you get to know him.”

Elaine: “He’s passionate? Who does he fuck?”

Harry: “You mean in the script?”

Elaine: “In his life. His wife left him—who does he sleep with. He’s quiet, low-key, yeah, but does that mean he doesn’t fuck?”

Chili couldn’t believe he was hearing her say that. There were all kinds of movies where nobody got laid in them. Unless she meant it as something the guy did that you never saw. Like people in movies never went to the bathroom even though you

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know they would have to.

There was a pause, a silence right after Elaine spoke. And then Karen got into it.

Karen: “What he needs—what the story needs is for somebody to give him a kick in the ass, get him going. I’m thinking about a woman who’s been abused by Roxy, knows his life, his habits, that he’s into something illegal. And she also knows he’s driving—that’s it, when he’s not supposed to. Otherwise where does Lovejoy get the idea to catch him at it? She goes to Lovejoy and lays it out. Let’s get this son of a bitch. Catch him driving. What’s the girl’s name in the script, the hooker?”

Harry: “Lola.”

Karen: “Lovejoy, Ilona, Lola—come on. Call her—I don’t know—Peggy. Working class but bright. From a big family she’s had to help support. Worked all her life . . . Roxy’s hobby is making porno films he shows to his friends. He gets Peggy stoned and shoots nude footage of her. She discovers it, burns the tape and he beats her up . . . This is the kind of situation I mean, not necessarily what will work best. But get her personally involved. Where does the video camera come from? It’s Roxy’s. She rips it off . . . You see what I’m getting at?”

Elaine: “You’re on the right track.”

Harry: “But then it’s not Lovejoy’s story, it’s the girl’s.”

Karen: “It’s a subplot. We’re looking for motivation, what gets Lovejoy started.”

Harry: “And I’m looking at a property, as it is, Michael Weir wants to do.”

Elaine: “Oh, God. Michael.”

Chili watched Elaine look over at Karen.

Harry: “Elaine, Michael read it and flipped. Why? Because it’s about life. It’s cosmic, it’s about universal feelings and values. But he won’t touch it if it isn’t his story. You know that. Michael is bigger than the idea.”

Elaine: “Mr. Indecisive, won’t be pressured into making a commitment. I love him, but he’s worse than Hoffman and Redford put together, and his price isn’t even as high as theirs. You know what he does, don’t you? He puts his writer on it and every few months or so they show up with a different version of the story. Then he’ll bring a director, some guy who’s in awe of Michael and if the picture’s ever shot he’ll make the mistake of allowing Michael in the cutting room. You go over budget, miss release dates and post-production goes on forever while Michael fine-tunes.”

Harry: “And if you can get him, it’s worth it.”

Elaine: “Why don’t you bring me a nice sci-fi / horror idea? Something original. No pissed-off teenagers or comic-book characters. Drama, if it’s offbeat, quirky but real. I want to discover new actors, do something different.”

Chili saw her looking at him over her glasses. She blew out a stream of cigarette smoke.

Elaine: “Mr. Palmer, what do you think of Michael Weir?”

“I think he’s a great actor,” Chili said, “and I think you could get him to do it. When I was talking to him last night he said he likes the character a lot.” That got their attention. “He also likes the idea of putting a girl in it and fixing the ending, but he thinks it turns into a B movie in the second act.”

Elaine: “He means whenever you cut away from him.”

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“I think he was talking mostly,” Chili said, “about the visual fabric of the movie and the theme, what you’re doing here, so it doesn’t start to look like something else.”

Elaine: “You know Michael?”

“I know the girl lives with him, Nicki. She introduced me.” Harry was looking at him from across the coffee table, staring. Karen, on the sofa next to him, had her head turned to look right at him. “Speaking of the ending,” Chili said, “I think if Lovejoy runs the guy over with his van the audience in the theater would get up and cheer.”

Elaine: “The direct approach.”

“Say he wants to do it,” Chili said. “He starts out with every intention and then changes his mind. But it happens anyway, he runs the guy over and kills him and you don’t know for sure if he meant it or it was an accident.” He watched Elaine take her glasses off. She kept looking at him without saying anything.

Karen: “I kind of like that. Keep it ambiguous till the very end. Say he tells Peggy it was an accident and she believes him . . .”

Elaine: “But the audience still isn’t sure.”

Karen: “That’s what I was thinking. Give them something to talk about after they walk out.”

Elaine: “You mean leave the theater.”

Karen, smiling: “Right.” Still smiling: “Warren’s idea—did he tell you?”

Chili placed the name, the studio exec Karen had mentioned who sounded like an asshole.

Elaine: “We talked about it briefly.”

Karen: “Lovejoy videotapes a couple of robberies and becomes a surveillance expert?”

Elaine: “With Mel Gibson. We do sequels or sell it to a network for a series.”

Harry: “So, the next step—”

Karen: “I thought he’d be here.”

Elaine: “Warren’s no longer with us. He’s in Publicity.”

Karen: “Oh.”