and followed their father into the kitchen while their mother and grandmother set out bowls of rice.
The meal was pleasant, the air-conditioning argument having been resolved, and after dinner, after they had drunk the mo qua soup, after the table had been cleared Sue told her parents that she was going to go to the theater. There was a new Woody Allen movie playing, she explained and this was its last day.
'Me too!' John said. 'I want to go tool'
'No,' Sue told him.
'Why not?' Her mother asked in Cantonese. 'Why don't you want your brother to go with you?'
'Because I'm going with a friend of mine.' 'Which friend?'
'Mother, I'm twenty-one, I'm old enough to go to stupid movie without being treated like a criminal.'
'A boy? Are you going to the theater with a boy?' 'No.' 'Yes, you are. And you are ashamed to show him to ( your family, and you are sneaking around our backs.' 'Fine then. I won't go.'
'Go,' her father said. 'It's okay.'
'We don't even know this boy!'
'There is no boy!' Sue told her mother, exasperated 'If I was going out on a date, I, would tell you. I am not going on a date.'
'Then why can't I go?' John asked.
'It's rated 'R'.'
'Rated 'R'?' her mother said. 'I'm not sure you shoul( be seeing this movie.'
'I've seen thousands of 'R' movies on cable. So haw you, So has John.'
'Then why can't I go?' John asked.
Sue threw up her hands. 'Forget it!' she said in Er English. 'God, if I knew it was going to be this complicatec I wouldn't're even brought it up!'
'You can go,' her father said. 'We're not that busy tonight. I don't need you here.' He turned toward his wife and John. 'She's old enough to do things with her friends if she wants to,' he said. 'And she deserves a little privacy.'
She took a deep breath. 'Thank you,' she told her father. She glanced toward her grandmother, who smiled at her and nodded approval.
'Should I pick you up afterward?' her father asked. Sue shook her head. 'I'll walk home.' 'Are you sure? That late?' 'I'll be fine.'
'What time will you be back?' her mother asked. 'The movie starts at eight, gets out at nine-thirty, I'll be home by ten.' She glanced at the clock on the wall. 'I have to go, I'll be late.' She grabbed her jacket from the chair next to the kitchen door and hurried out before her mother could think of another argument. The truth was that she was going to the movie alone, something she did far more often than she would ever admit to her parents. Usually, she went alone not because she had to, but because she liked to. This time, though, it had not been entirely voluntary. She had asked Shelly and Janine to go with her, but neither of them had wanted to see the film. She wasn't about to let the fact that no one wanted to go with her keep her from enjoying herself, however.
Her parents, she knew, especially her mother, would forbid her to leave the house if they realized that she actually liked to go to movies, go shopping and perform other supposedly social activities by herself.
They would probably consider her a disgrace to the family and decide that there was something seriously wrong with her. Or something else wrong with her.
Although neither of her parents had ever said anything, it was clear that both of them already thought there was something amiss because she was twenty-one and not yet married. When her mother was her age, as she never tired of pointing out, she already had a two-year-old daughter. Sue never said a word, but she thought to herself that if he had gotten pregnant at nineteen, her parents would have thought her the slut of the Western world.
On this issue, her grandmother, who more often than not took her side in disputes, was in complete agreement with her parents. Her grandmother had even suggested sending her to live in San Francisco with her aunt so she could find a nice Chinese boy.
She had long since given up trying to explain that she would get married when she was ready and when she fell in love, not when tradition said it was appropriate. These days she just smiled, nodded, and waited for the discussion to end.
A car pulled up to the restaurant as she was leaving, and she moved out of its way, veering off to the right and taking the sandy path that wound through the cactus and cottonwood and acted as a shortcut through the land between the restaurant and the back of the Basha's shopping center.
The movie theater was on the far side of the grocery store, and she arrived just in time, grabbing a seat just as the lights dimmed, the curtains opened, and the first preview came on.
The movie was good, but not one of Woody's best. Not as great as Siskel and Ebert had said it was but still thoughtful and funny and well worth watching. She seemed to be in the minority in her enjoyment of the film, however. Throughout its presentation, people in the audience made loud comments which they and their friends seemed to consider amusing but which she found juvenile and obnoxious. The sparse audience laughed more at the observations of these buffoons than they did at the genuinely funny lines in the film, and it almost made her wish she'd waited to see the movie on video.
Afterward, she walked slowly across the parking lot toward the street.
The lot was deserted save for a cluster of vehicles around the entrance of the theater. She stopped for a moment, looking up. The moonless sky was black, freckled with oversize stars, and the air was chill with a promise of winter. Carried faintly on the light desert breeze was the scent of a mesquite campfire.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp cool air. She loved nights like these, but they always made her sad somehow. These were evenings that should be spent with others, not alone. These were nights for cuddling and comforters and hot chocolate, not nights for mo qua and arguing parents.
Around her, couples made their way to cars and trucks, talking together in low intimate tones. They were high school students mostly, the boys younger versions of their fathers with cowboy hats, boots, and white Skoal circles outlined on the back pockets of their faded Levi's, the girls giggly emulators of their mothers' status quo subservience.
Sue shook her head, looked toward the drooping cottonwood tree at the corner of the parking lot. She was being too hard on these people, and she knew iL She was in a mean mood tonight. Jealousy, probably. Her own mother was no doubt far more subservient than these girls or even their mothers would ever be.
To her right, leaning against a red pickup, she saw a boy and girl kissing passionately, young lovers who no doubt thought their relationship would last forever. She was jealous. This had never been a part of her life when she'd been their age. She'd regretted it then, and she regretted it now. She thought of her senior prom, the only school dance she had ever attended. She'd gone with Clay Brown, a boy she barely knew and who barely knew her. Neither of them had been able to find dates for the prom, and they'd sort of fallen together out of necessity. After the dance, they'd tried to make out, there in the dark of the car on the dirt road next to the river. But though each of them wanted something to happen, nothing had. Their passion had been forced, awkward, and uncomfortable for both of them, and it was instantly clear that there were no sparks, that it was not going to work.
Embarrassed, they'd avoided each other after that. Clay had eventually moved out of town. He was probably married by now.
She watched the young lovers break their kiss and get into the pickup.
They kissed again before driving off.
She continued walking, wondering whether her mother was going to be up and waiting, ready to give her the third degree when she got home .....
'Hey, Sue! Wait up!'
She turned to see Shelly hurrying across the parking lot toward her.
Sue stood, waiting. By the time her friend reached her, the chubby girl was panting and nearly out of breath. 'I knew you'd be at the movie, so I decided to come with you, but I didn't see you in there.'
'I sat in the back. I thought you didn't want to go.' 'I changed my mind.' 'Why? Did you get a date?'
Shelly snorted. 'Very funny. Actually, I tried to catch you at the restaurant, but John said you'd already left. I thought I could find you at the theater, but by the time I got here the movie had already started, and i didn't want to walk up and down the aisles looking for you.' 'Well, I didn't see you either.'
'I was near the front, off to the side.' She shook her head. 'I almost went home. I've never gone to a movie
