to go back to New York, and I’ll meet him in two weeks. With Renee on the watch list of three county police departments, and Cletus and Renfro dead, and Darrell banged up to the point he can’t blink his eyes without shittin’ his pants, I reckon I’ll be safe in Clayton till then.
Gideon wants to put me up in a hotel until my affairs are settled, but for the first time in my life I have an organized plan to move away, and I’m lookin’ forward to packin’ the items I’d like to take.
Gideon’s worried about Daddy, but Daddy’s not an issue. He’s in Logan, bein’ cared for by Renee. So it makes sense for me to stay in my own home for the next two weeks.
“I don’t like it,” he says, imitatin’ Clem, to make me smile.
The hospital doctor works his way to my room around noon, and clears me to check out. An hour later, I’m sittin’ in a wheel chair out front with an orderly at my side, squintin’ against the harsh sunlight, waitin’ for Gideon to drive up in his rental car and whisk me home.
When I’m settled in the car, he says, “Are you up for a short trip?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“I need to meet someone.”
“Who?”
“Faith Hemphill.”
“Are you crazy?”
“Yes. Absolutely. Why do you ask?”
I frown. “Is this gonna be a regular thing with you?”
“What?”
“The women, Gideon. Every time I turn around you’re with one woman or another, and either her pants are off, or yours are around your ankles.”
“This meeting’s about you,” he says.
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Well I’ve got no interest in meetin’ her!”
“Why not?”
“Did you not drive two full hours a few days ago hopin’ to bang her?”
“Yes. But I learned a valuable lesson that day, with her, Zander, and Renee.”
“To keep your dick in your pants?”
“Yes.”
“Promise it.”
“As long as you’re willing to stay with me, I promise to keep my dick in my pants.”
I laugh.
“What?”
“You just basically promised we’ll never have sex.”
“I did?”
“Rewind it in your head.”
He does. Then says, “That didn’t come out right. I need a mulligan.”
“Too late,” I say. “You already made the promise.”
54
Turns out we’re meeting Faith Hemphill at the half-way mark to her house because she has sea horses she can’t leave for more than four hours at a time. When I see her I’m no longer jealous. She looks old enough to be Gideon’s mom, and burly enough to play offensive tackle for the Tennessee Titans.
The reason we’re meetin’ Faith makes less sense than the idea of Gideon datin’ her in the first place. She’s here to sell him some sort of powder that can disable people, and make ’em crazy enough to shoot each other by mistake.
The three of us are standin’ in a vacant lot where a gas station used to be. It’s all hush-hush, like some sort of big-time drug deal.
Gideon says, “You brought the powder packets?”
Faith says, “You brought the cash?”
When they make the exchange I laugh out loud.
Faith raises her chin at me and says, “Is that her? The one you felt up?”
I say, “You told her that?”
“Renfro told me first,” Faith says. She casts a careful eye on me and says, “You’re puny.” To Gideon, she says, “Couldn’t a’ taken you five seconds to feel whatever she’s got in that little trainin’ bra.”
“At least I get measured for my bras,” I say. “Instead of surveyed.”
“Ladies, please!” Gideon says.
“Sorry,” Faith says. “That was me bein’ jealous.”
“Me too,” I say. “So, this powder really works?”
“Ask Cletus and Renfro,” she says.
I walk over to her, and we shake hands.
“How does it work?” I say.
“You any good at chuckin’ rocks?”
I smile. “What kind of country girl would I be if I couldn’t chuck rocks?”
Faith says, “Gideon, walk away from us a minute.”
When he gets about fifteen feet away, she calls him by name. He turns to look at us, and Faith hurls a dust bomb at him.
Gideon screams as it explodes on his chest.
Faith says, “Don’t be such a pussy. That ain’t nothin’ but flour and bakin’ soda.”
“You could’ve warned me,” Gideon says, slappin’ the powder off his clothes.
She hands me a packet and says, “Now you try. Remember to fling it hard.”
I hurl the packet at Gideon and he explodes into a cloud of flour for the second time.
“Damn it!” he shouts.
“Shouldn’t I aim for the face?” I say.
“The chest is a bigger target. You hit a man’s chest with the blindin’ powder, it’ll put him on the ground quick.”
“What if he closes his eyes at the last second?”
“The glass and pepper dust hangs in the air. After a man’s been hit, he’ll open his eyes. It’s a natural reaction. When he does, the glass and pepper gets in there and burns like hell. He’ll rub his eyes to ease the pain, but what he’s really doin’ is rubbing ground glass into his eyeballs. It’s brutal.”
“I don’t think I can do that to a person,” I say.
“If your life’s on the line you’ll use it and wish you had more.”
“On the bright side, everyone who wants to hurt me is either dead or hurt.”
“I hope you’re right. But I’m still keepin’ the money Doc Box give me just now.”
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think Gideon was at your place when Cletus and Renfro broke in.”
She gives Gideon a look and says, “Why would you think that?”
“My husband sent them to kill Gideon, not you. Dumb as they were, they would’ve known if his car was at your place. They wouldn’t have broken into your house unless they knew he was in there.”
“I expect you’ll keep those thoughts to yourself,” she says.
“What thoughts?” I say.
She smiles.
“I could learn to like you,” she says.
