see a preview of a war movie. They were planning a party afterwards, and I went along. Ralph got me drunk and took me to the Barcelona Hotel, where he introduced me to the stolen delights of illicit romance. It was my first time on both counts. First time drunk, first time bedded.'
Her voice was harsh. `If you wouldn't stand over me, Lew, it would be easier.'
I pulled up a hassock to her feet. `But it didn't go on, you say?'
`It went on for a few weeks. I'll be honest with you. I was in love with Ralph. He was handsome and brave and all the other things.'
`And married.'
`That's why I quit him,' she said, `essentially Mrs. Hillman. Elaine Hillman got wind of the affair and came to my apartment in Burbank. We had quite a scene. I don't know what would have happened if Carol hadn't been there. But she got the two of us quieted down, and even talking sensibly to each other.'
She paused, and added elegiacally: `Carol had troubles of her own, but she was always good at easing situations.'
`What was Carol doing in that situation?'
`She was living with me, didn't I tell you that? I took her into my home. Anyway, Carol sat there like a little doll while Elaine Hillman laid out for me in detail just what I was doing to her and her marriage. The ugliness of it. I saw I couldn't go on doing it to her. I told her so, and she was satisfied. She's quite an impressive woman, you know, at least she was then.'
`She still is, when you get under the surface. And Ralph Hillman is an impressive man.'
`He was in those days, anyway.'
I said to test her honesty: `Didn't you have any other reason for dropping him, besides Elaine Hillman's visit?'
`I don't know what you mean,' she said, failing the honesty test, or perhaps the memory test.
`How did Elaine Hillman find out about you?'
`Oh. That.'
The shame that lay beneath her knowledge of herself came up into her face and took possession of it. She whispered: `Mrs. Hillman told you, I suppose?'
`She mentioned a picture.'
`Did she show it to you?'
`She's too much of a lady.'
`That was a nasty crack!'
`It wasn't intended to be. You're getting paranoid.'
`Yes, Doctor. Shall I stretch out on this convenient couch and tell you a dream?'
`I can think of better uses for a couch.'
`Not now,' she said quickly.
`No. Not now.'
But in the darkest part of our transaction we had reached a point of intimacy, understanding at least. `I'm sorry I have to drag all this stuff out.'
`I know. I know that much about you. I also know you haven't finished.'
`Who took the picture? Otto Sipe?'
`He was there. I heard his voice.'
`You didn't see him?'
`I hid my face,' she said. `A flashbulb popped. It was like reality exploding.'
She passed her hand over her eyes. `I think it was another man in the doorway who took the picture.'
`Harold Harley?'
`It must have been. I didn't see him.'
`What was the date?'
`It's in my memory book. April 14, 1945. Why does it matter?'
`Because you can't explode reality. Life hangs together in one piece. Everything is connected with everything else. The problem is to find the connections.'
She said with some irony: `That's your mission in life, isn't it? You're not interested in people, you're only interested in the connections between them. Like a-' she searched for an insulting word-`a plumber.'
I laughed at her. She smiled a little. Her eyes remained somber.
`There's another connection we have to go into,' I said. `This one involves the telephone, not the plumbing.'
`You mean Ralph's call the other day.'
`Yes. He wanted you to keep quiet about something. What was it?'
