best if we pull down the curtain on our pains and hide them, since we're unable to wipe them out of existence'.
She reluctantly took refuge in silence. Her heart was apprehensive that stormy memories would spoil the happy reunion and the hopes it had inspired in her. She began to observe him anxiously, as though trying to guess what he was concealing in his chest. When she could not stand his silence any longer she said plaintively, 'Don't keep on tormenting me. You're my only child'.
These words had a strange effect on him as though revealing to him for the first time that he truly was her son and that she was the only mother he had. All the same, it served him as a new incentive for outrage and anxiety. How many men! He turned his face away to conceal from her the traces of revulsion and anger sketched on its surface. He closed his eyes to flee from memories of vile sights.
At that moment he heard her say gently and imploringly, 'Let me believe that my present happiness is a reality and not an illusion and that you came to me having rid your heart forever of all the sorrows of the past'.
He gave her a long, hard look that revealed the serious nature of his thoughts, but there was nothing then that could have deterred him from trying to achieve his objective or even postponed it for a while. In a voice indicating that the words he spoke were far less important than what they implied, he remarked, 'This depends on you. If you wish, you will have everything you want'.
An anxious look could be seen in the woman’s eyes, revealing the reawakened fear she was suffering. She replied, 'I desire your love from the depths of my heart. How often have I yearned and striven for it, only to have you reject me mercilessly'.
He was distracted from her affectionate words by the thought disturbing his mind. He continued: 'What you crave is within your grasp. It is in your hands alone, if you take wisdom for your guide'.
The woman asked with alarm, 'What do you mean?'
Her feigned ignorance infuriated him and he said, 'The import of my words is plain. You should refrain from doing something which, if the information reaching me is correct, would be a fatal blow for me.
She opened her eyes wide and then frowned with unconcealed despair. She muttered unwittingly, 'What do you mean?'
Assuming that she was playing dumb on purpose he responded with rage, 'I mean that you should annul the plan to remarry. Don't even consider doing something like this again. I'm not a child anymore. My patience won't stand for any further insults'.
She bowed her head with unmistakable sorrow. She kept it down for some time, as though asleep. Then she raised her head slowly. The grief visible in her expression was too profound to measure. In a feeble voice, as though addressing herself, she said, 'So you came because of that!'
Without considering what he was saying, he replied, 'Yes!'
His answer could just as well have been a burst of gunfire, for everything around him changed and was transformed suddenly. The atmosphere became gloomy. Later, when he was alone, he went back over that conversation. He was comfortable with everything he had said until this final answer. He pondered over it, not knowing whether he had made a mistake or said the right thing.
His mother murmured as she looked around her, 'How I wish my ears were deceiving me'.
He realized only too late that he had gone too fast. He was angry with himself, furious, and poured his wrath on everything but himself. In an attempt to conceal his error at the expense of an even greater one, without stopping to think, he burst out: 'You do just what you want without thinking about the consequences. I've always been the victim who has been hurt for no fault of his own. I would have thought that life would have taught you some lessons. So imagine my surprise when someone tells me you're planning to get married again. What a scandal, and it keeps recurring every few years, without any end in sight'.
Her despair was so intense that she listened to him with apparent disinterest. Then she said sorrowfully, 'You're a victim and I'm a victim. Each of us becomes a victim when your father and that woman who has taken you under her wing start whispering to you'.
He was amazed by this shift in the course of the conversation. It appeared ludicrous to him, but he did not laugh. If anything, he was even angrier and said, 'What bearing do my father and his wife have on this matter? Don't try to evade responsibility for your actions by throwing accusations in the faces of innocent people'.
She protested in a voice like a groan, 'I've never seen a son crueler than you… Is this what you have to tell me after a separation of eleven years?'
He waved his hand in angry rejection and said sharply and furiously, 'A sinful mother is likely to give birth to a cruel son'.
'I'm no sinner… I'm not a sinner. But you are as cruel and hardhearted as your father'.
He snorted with vexation and shouted, 'We're back to my father! We have enough to discuss without him. Fear God and retreat from this new scandal… I wish to prevent this scandal at any price'.
Her despair and sorrow were so intense that her voice sounded cold when she said, 'How does it concern you?'
Astonished, he yelled back, 'My mother’s scandal shouldn't concern me?'
She replied with a sorrow blended with a slight amount of sarcasm, 'You have the right to stop thinking of me as your mother'.
'What do you mean?'
Ignoring his question, she muttered, 'Since you have no feelings for me anymore, the best thing is for you to leave me and my concerns alone'.
He shouted angrily, 'What’s already happened is all I can bear. I will not permit you to soil my reputation again'.
Swallowing bitterly, she replied, 'With God as my witness, there’s nothing about it that will soil anyone’s reputation'.
He asked her disapprovingly, 'Are you determined to go through with this marriage?'
She was silent for a time. Her head was bowed sadly and she was sunk in despair. A deep sigh escaped her. Then she said in a scarcely audible voice, 'The matter’s settled. The marriage contract has been drawn up. I'm no longer in a position to stop it'.
Yasin jumped to his feet. His corpulent body was rigid and his face pale. Boiling with anger, he stared at her bowed head. Then he roared at her. 'What a woman you are… You criminal!'
She mumbled in choked voice revealing her total surrender, 'May God forgive you'.
At that moment it occurred to him to blast her with what he knew about her past conduct, things she assumed he did not know, like the sinister story of the fruit seller. It would be a bomb he could drop on her head suddenly and blow her to bits, exacting the most hideous revenge. There was a terrifying flash from his eyes, flying out from beneath a frowning, gloomy brow with furrows that seemed threatening suggestions of forthcoming evil. He opened his mouth to drop his bombshell, but his tongue would not move. It stuck to the roof of his mouth as though forced there by his brain, which had not been blinded by his suffering to the calamity that would result. The dreadful instant passed with the speed of a fleeting earthquake during which a person feels death breathing on his face repeatedly for a few moments before everything returns to normal. He groaned but suppressed his anger. He backed down, without regrets. His forehead was dripping with cold sweat. Later, when he remembered various moments of this strange meeting, he recalled how he had acted then and felt relieved that he had held back, even though he was totally amazed by his restraint. What most surprised him was his feeling that he held back out of compassion for himself, not for her. Although he already knew what he would have revealed, he seemed to have been shielding his own honor rather than hers.
He blew off steam by striking his hands together and saying, 'Criminal!.. Scandal incarnate!.. How I'll laugh at my foolishness every time I remember that I hoped something good might come from this visit…' Then he continued sarcastically: 'I'm amazed you can desire my affection after this'.
She was distraught and sad. He heard her say, 'My soul made me hope we could live together with love, in spite of everything. Your surprise visit inspired warm hopes in my heart that made me imagine I could give you the most exalted form of love my heart possesses… unblemished'.
He backed away from her, as though fleeing from the tenderness of her words. Nothing could have excited his anger more than that. Filled with anger and despair, he sensed there was no longer anything to be gained from staying on in this hateful atmosphere. Turning around to make his way out, he said, 'I wish I could kill you'.
She lowered her eyes and said with unconcealed sorrow, 'If you do, you'll relieve me of the sufferings of my
