There was no longer any doubt that hope was a rigid corpse. He imagined she would shout, 'Take your head and nose away so they don't obscure the light of the sun'. Budur waved to him. He glanced down at her beautiful and radiant face and went toward her to mask his defeat with her innocent affection. She grabbed hold of his arms, and he learned over to kiss her cheek warmly and gratefully.
Then the voice that in the past had opened the portals of celestial music for him said roughly, 'Please don't kissher. A kiss is not a hygienic greeting.'
A disconcerted laugh escaped from him, he knew not how or why. He became quite pale. At first dumbfounded and in a stupor, he finally responded incredulously, 'It's not the first kiss, so far as I remember.'
She shrugged her shoulders as if to say, 'That changes nothing.'
'Oh!' Was he to begin a new week of torture without getting to utter a word in self-defense?
'Allow me to ask what secret is behind this bizarre change? I've been wondering all week long and have been unable to find an answer.'
She did not seem to have heard him and consequently did not bother to reply.
With his voice betraying his anxiety and pain, he continued: 'What really makes me sad is that I'm innocent. I've done nothing to deserve this punishment.'
She still seemed determined to remain silent, but he was afraid Husayn would arrive before she was coaxed into speaking. In a voice combining complaint with entreaty he quickly said, 'Doesn t an old friend like me deserve at least to be informed of his offense?'
She raised her head, cast him a sideways look as gloomy as storm clouds, and said angrily, 'Don't pretend you're innocent!'
'O Lord of the heavens, can sins be committed unconsciously?' he asked himself as he mechanically patted Budur's hands, with which she was attempting to draw him close to her, for she understood nothing of what was going on.
'Alas., my suspicions are correct,' he said jerkily. 'This is what my heart told me, but I couldn't believe it. You think I've done something wrong. Isn't that so? But of what offense are you accusing, me? By your life, tell me. Don't wait for me to confess, for the simple reason that I've committed no crime against you. No matter how much I search the recesses of my soul, life, and past I can find no intention, word, or deed meant to harm you. I'm amazed chat you don't realize how self-evident this is.'
She replied scornfully, 'I'm not the kind of girl who's taken in by theatrics. Ask yourself what you said about me.'
With alarm he asked, 'What have I said about you? To whom did I say it? I swear to you …'
She cut him off in exasperation: 'I'm not the least bit interested in your oaths. Save them for yourself. The oaths of slanderers are not to be trusted. The important thing is for you to remember what you said about me.'
He tossed his overcoat on a chair as though preparing to throw himself i nto the debate and stepped away from Budur to free himself from her innocent attempts to monopolize his attention. Then he said so heatedly that his words had the ring of truth, 'I've never said anything about you I would be embarrassed to repeat now in your hearing. I have never said anything bad about you in my whole life. I wouldn't be able to, if you only realized…. If one of our friends has told you something about me that's angered you, then he's a despicable liar who doesn't deserve your trust. I'm ready to confront him in your presence so that you can see for yourself whether he's telling the truth or, more precisely, lying. You have no defects, so how couJd I mention any? You've really been unfair to me.'
She commented sarcastically, 'Thanks for this praise, which I don't deserve. I don't think I'm that flawless… if for no other reason than that I haven't received a totally Egyptian upbringing.'
This last phrase skewered his mind, for he remembered saying it in his conversation with Hasan Salim when defending his beloved from the doubts Hasan had raised. Had Hasan repeated it in a manner that had stirred her doubts about Kamal's good intentions? The noble Hasan Salim… would he do such a thing? How Kamal's head was spinning….
His eyes eloquently expressing his shock and sorrow, he said, 'What do you mean? I admit I said that, but ask Hasan Salim to tell you he's got to tell you that I said those words when I was praising your virtues.'
She glared at him coldly and asked, 'My virtues? And is my wish to be everyone's 'dream girl' a virtue?'
Kamal cried out with panic and rage, 'He said that about you, not I. Won't you stay and let me challenge him in front of you?'
She bitterly and ironically pursued her interrogation: 'And is my flirting with you another of my virtues?'
Feeling desperately unable to defend himself from this flood of accusations, he said, 'You flirt with me? Where? When?'
'In this gazebo! Have you forgotten? Do you deny you left him with that impression?'
He was hurt by the sarcasm with which she asked, 'Have you forgotten?' He perceived at once that Hasan Salim how stupid it all was had nourished suspicions about their tete-a-tete and had shared his doubts with his sweetheart or had ascribed them to Kamal in order to investigate them by this dirty trick of which he was the victim.
He said sadly and indignantly, 'I deny it. I deny it with all my force and sincerity. I only regret trusting Hasan.'
She said haughtily, as though she considered this last sentence a dig at her, 'He always deserves that.'
Kamal was beside himself. He imagined the Sphinx had raised its awesome stone paw, unmoved for thousands of years, to bring it down on him, crushing him and burying him beneath it forever.
In a trembling voice he said, 'If it's Hasan who told you these lies, then he's a common liar. He's the one slandering me. It's not me slandering you.'
A stern expression was visible in her eyes. She asked sharply, 'Do you deny that in his presence you criticized my association with Husayn's friends?'
Was this the way an aristocratic patrician distorted a person's words? Deeply moved, he said, 'Absolutely! That never happened. God knows I didn't. But he claimed something quite stupendous. He said… he said you love him. He said that if he wanted to, he could prevent you from associating with us. I never meant…'
She interrupted him scornfully and rose, proudly holding herself erect as the halo of her black hair fluttered around her uplifted face. 'You're raving! It doesn't matter to me what people say. I'm above all this. In my opinion my only error is in bestowing my friendship indiscriminately.'
As she spoke she put Budur down on the ground and took her hand. Then, turning her back on Kamal, Ai'da left the gazebo.
He called after her entreatingly, 'Wait a moment please, so …'
But she was already far away, and his voice was louder than it should have been. He imagined that the whole garden had heard him. The trees, the gazebo, and the chairs all seemed to be staring at him scornfully. He closed his mouth and rested his hand on the edge of the table. He leaned over as though his tall torso was bowed by the force of defeat.
He was not alone long. Husayn Shaddad soon appeared with his usual cheerful expression and greeted Kamal in his normal, sweet, innocent fashion. They sat down on neighboring chairs. Isma'il Latif came a little later. Finally Hasan Salim arrived. He made his way to diem with unhurried steps and an arrogant bearing.
Kamal wondered anxiously whether Hasan had observed them from a distance as he had that previous time. When and how would Hasan learn what had been said in their stormy final conversation? Kamal's rage and jealousy swelled within him like a ruptured appendix. He promised not to allow any adversary to gloat over him. He would not expose himself to anyone's mockery or fei gned affection. He would not let them see any evidence of the turmoil within him. He threw himself into the current of the conversation, laughing at Isma'il Latif's observations, commenting at length on the formation of the new Ittihad or Union Party, on the deserters who had left Sa'd Zaghlul and the Wafd Party, and on the role of Nashat Pasha in all of that. In brief, he played his part to perfection until the meeting concluded peacefully.
When Kamal, Isma'il, and Hasan left the Shaddad mansion at noon, it seemed that Kamal could not restrain himself any longer. He told Hasan, 'I'd like to speak to you.'
Hasan replied calmly, 'Go ahead.'
Kamal looked apologetically at Isma'il and said, 'Alone.'
Isma'il was ready to leave them, but Hasan gestured for him to stay, saying, 'I keep nothing from
