but Muhammad Iffat's physician had allowed him one glass a day. Back then Ahmad Abd al-Jawad had assumed that his friend's doctor was more lenient than his own. He had gone to see this man, but the physician had advised him firmly and earnestly, 'Your condition is different from your friend's'. When the others had learned about this visit to Muhammad Iffat's doctor, it had provoked many jokes and comments.
Ahmad laughed and said, 'You certainly must have given your doctor a big bribe to persuade him to let you have this one drink.'
Al-Far moaned as he stared at the glass in Muhammad Iffat's hand and said, 'By God, I've almost forgotten its intoxication.'
Ali Abd al-Rahim jested, 'You've destroyed your repentance by saying this, ruffian.'
Al-Far asked his Lord's forgiveness and then murmured submissively, 'Praise God.'
'We've sunk to the point of envying one glass. Whatever has become of our ecstatic intoxications?'
Laughing, Ahmad Abd al-Jawad said, 'If you repent, let it be of something evil, not of a blessing, you sons of dogs.'
'Like all preachers, you have a tongue in one world and a heart in another.'
Making his voice loud enough to suggest a change of subject, Ali Abd al-Rahim asked, 'Men, what do you think of Mustafa al-Nahhas? This man was not influenced by the tears of an ailing and elderly king. He refused to forget for one second his highest objective, the 1923 constitution.'
Muhammad Iffat cracked his fingers and said delightedly, 'Bravo! Bravo! He's even more resolute than Sa'd Zaghlul. Although he saw that the tyrannical king was sick and tearful, al-Nahhas stood up to him with rare courage and repeated, with all the authority of the nation behind him, 'The 1923 constitution first.' So the constitution was reinstated. Who would have imagined that?'
Ibrahim al-Far nodded his head admiringly and said, 'Picture this scene: King Fuad, broken by age and ill health, places his hand affectionately on the shoulder of Mustafa al-Nahhas and calls for the formation of a coalition government. Al-Nahhas is unmoved. He does not forget his duty as a trusted leader or abandon for one moment the constitution, which royal tears had almost drowned. Unimpressed by any of this, he says resolutely and courageously, 'The 1923 constitution first, Your Majesty.''
Mimicking his friend's tone of voice, Ali Abd al-Rahim said, 'Or impalement, Your Majesty.'
Laughing, Ahmad Abd al-Jawad said, 'I swear by the One whose fates tantalize ushere with whiskey we're not allowed to drink — what a magnificent stand to take!'
Muhammad drained his glass and then said, 'This is 193 5. Eight years have passed since Sa'd's death and fifteen since the revolution. Yet the English are everywhere, in the barracks, the police, the army, and various ministries. The foreign capitulations that make every son of a bitch a respected gentleman are still operative. This sorry state of affairs must end.'
'And don't forget butchers like Isma'il Sidqy, Muhammad Mahmud, and King Fuad'shenchman al- Ibrashi….'
'If the English leave, none of these other men will matter and the constant change of governments will cease.'
'Yes. If the king wants to make trouble behind the scenes then, he won't find anyone to help him.'
Muhammad Iffat added, 'The king will be left with two choices. Either he respects the constitution or he says goodbye.'
Ibrahim al-Far asked rather skeptically, 'Would the English forsake him if he sought their protection?'
'If the English agree to evacuate Egypt, why would they continue to protect the king?'
Al-Far asked, 'Will the English really agree to evacuate?'
Speaking with confident pride in his political acumen, Muhammad Iffat replied, 'They caught us off guard with Hoare's declaration. Then there were the demonstrations and the martyrs, may God be compassionate to them. Finally there came the invitation to form a coalition government and the 1923 constitution was restored. I assure you that the English now want to negotiate. … It's true that no one knows how this sorry situation will be sorted out, under what circumstances the English will leave, or how the influence of resident expatriates can be ended. But we have boundless confidence in Mustafa al-Nahhas.'
'Is the exchange of a few words around a table going to end fifty-three years of foreign occupation?'
'The words have been preceded by the shedding of innocent blood….'
'Even so….'
With a wink, Muhammad Iffat replied, 'They'll find themselves in an awkward position, given the grave international situation.'
'They can always come up with someone to protect their interests. Isma'il Sidqy's still alive.'
In a knowing tone, Muhammad Iffat responded, 'I've spoken with many informed people and have found them optimistic. They say that the world is threatened by a crushing war, that Egypt is a potential target, and that it's in the best interests of both sides to reach an honorable settlement'. After stroking his belly he continued with smug self-assurance: 'Here's some important news for you. I've been promised the nomination for al-Gamaliya district in the forthcoming elections. Al-Nuqrashi himself promised me.'
The faces of his friends shone with delight. When it was Ali Abd al-Rahim's turn to comment, he said with mock seriousness, 'The only thing wrong with the Wafd Party is that they occasionally nominate beasts as deputies.'
Ahmad Abd al-Jawad pretended to defend the Wafd against this charge. 'What should the Wafd do? It wants to represent the entire nation. Some of the people are good citizens, and others are trash. What better representatives for trash can you have than beasts?'
Muhammad Iffat punched him in the side as he retorted, 'You're a sly old fox! You and Jalila are exactly alike. You're a pair of old foxes!'
'I'd be happy to see Jalila nominated. She could sweep the king himself off his feet if she had to.'
Smiling, Ali Abd al-Rahim commented, 'I ran into her the day before yesterday near her cul-de-sac. She's still as magnificently massive; as the ceremonial camel litter bound for Mecca, but age has eaten away at her and relieved itself all over her.'
Al-Far added, 'She's become a noted madam. Her house is a hotbed of activity, night and day. Even after the piper dies, her fingers keep on playing.'
Ali Abd al-Rahim laughed for a long time and then said, 'Passing by her house one day, I saw a man slip inside when he thought no one was looking. Who do you think it was?' With a wink in the direction of Ahmad Abd al-Jawad, he continued: 'The dutiful Kamal Effendi, instructor at al-Silahdar School.'
Muh arnmad Iffat and al-Far roared with laughter while Ahmad Abd al-Jawad, his eyes wide with astonishment and alarm, asked in a daze, 'My son Kamal?'
'Yes indeed. His overcoat wrapped around him, he paraded along in a most genteel manner sporting his gold-rimmed spectacles and bushy mustache. He walked with such sedate dignity that it was hard to believe he was the son of our court jester. He turned into her establishment as solemnly as if entering the holy mosque in Mecca. Under my breath I said, 'Don't wear yourself out, bastard.''
They laughed loudly. Ahmad Abd al-Jawad had not recovered yet from his stupor but attempted to overcome it by joining in the laughter.
Staring Ahmad in the face, Muhammad Iffat asked suggestively, 'What's so amazing about this? Isn't he your son?'
Shaking his head with wonder, Ahmad Abd al-Jawad replied, 'I've always thought him polite, refined, and cool. He spends so much time in his library reading and writing that I've been afraid he would become isolated from the world. He expends far too much effort on worthless things.'
Ibrahim al-Far joked, 'Who knows, perhaps there's a branch of the National Library in Jalila's house.'
Ali Abd al-Rahman ventured, 'Or perhapshe retreats to his library to read ribald classics like The Shakyh's Return. What do you expect from a man who began his career with an essay claiming that man is descended from an ape?'
They laughed again, and Ahmad Abd al-Jawad chuckled along with them. He had learned from experience that if he tried to be serious at a time like this he would become an easy target for jokes and jests. Finally he said, 'This must be why the damned fellow has avoided marriage so studiously that I was beginning to have doubts about him.'
'How old is your little boy now?'
