“I’m sure that is so,” the colonel said, “and I am sure their representations will be listened to with the greatest of respect.” He ran a hand over his bristly head. “But you must understand, Mrs. Eldred, that my government takes exception to people such as yourself coming out here to tell us how to run our country, coming out here in the guise of mission workers and then turning political and interfering in affairs that you don’t understand.”
“I do understand,” Anna said. “You can’t expect that line to succeed with me. I’ve seen everything, with my own eyes.”
“With respect, Mrs. Eldred, you have seen nothing and you know nothing. When you’ve been here twenty, thirty years, tell me then.” The colonel looked up at the ceiling, as if self-control reposed there. When he spoke again it was in a flat voice, with his former quite meaningless courtesy. “Can I offer you a cigarette, Mrs. Eldred?”
“No, thank you.”
“You don’t mind if I smoke myself?”
“Feel free.”
“Do you have any complaints, Mrs. Eldred?”
She looked at him wonderingly. “If I began on my complaints …”
“About your treatment, I mean.”
“Could I be allowed some fresh air?”
“I’m afraid there is nowhere suitable for you to take exercise.”
“I can hear other women outside. I can hear their voices.” And laughter. Songs.
“That will be from the courtyard. The blacks go out there to do their washing.”
“I expect I shall need to do washing.”
“It will be done for you, Mrs. Eldred.”
“I should like a change of clothes from home, and some books. Is that possible?”
“I will send someone to see about your clothes.”
Relief washed over her; she had not thought about it until now, but for the first time it occurred to her that they might put her into a prison dress. “And the books?”
“You can have a Bible for now. Will that do?”
“Thank you.”
He inclined his head. “You’re a well-mannered woman, Mrs. Eldred. I’d like to see you keep it that way.”
“I hope I can, Colonel.” Whatever you say, she thought, I shall have the last word. “Could I have the light on for longer, so that I can read? I couldn’t sleep last night. I never can sleep much before midnight.”
The colonel hesitated. “For one hour, perhaps. Till nine o’clock.”
She had gained a piece of information. She had a sense of petty triumph.
“Can I have my watch back?”
“Yes, that is possible. I didn’t know it had been taken away.”
“And this bucket, this so-called sanitary bucket—it’s disgusting. When they brought me down the corridor I saw some buckets standing in a corner, a kind with lids. Can I have one of those?”
The colonel looked stricken. He flung himself from his chair, and chopped the wardress to pieces in blunt Afrikaans. The wardress shrugged, talked back; then became abject. “Mrs. Eldred,” he said, turning to her, “we owe you an apology. I do not know how this can have happened. You’ve been given a native-type bucket. All colored and white prisoners are automatically allocated buckets with lids, that is the rule. Your bucket will be changed immediately.”
Anna stared at him. The colonel had the last word after all.
That night, her legs began to ache; sleep was fitful, but before dawn she plunged into a dreamless stupor. When she woke she was shivering, and her scalp was sore: a vast headache lay behind it. She felt it was difficult to breathe, let alone eat. She had wrapped herself in her blanket, but it didn’t help.
They came for her at nine.
“The colonel again?”
“Ag, Mrs. Eldred, he must be in love with you.”
He was pacing his office; stopped pacing when he saw her. “Good morning, Mrs. Eldred, please sit down.” He looked at her closely. “So it’s a hunger strike?”
“No, it’s not a hunger strike. I just prefer not to eat.”
“You don’t like the food you are given?”
“How could anyone like it? It’s not fit for pigs.”
“So if we were to supplement your diet, you would eat?”
Anna didn’t answer. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction; didn’t want to allow herself the temptation. Since that first time, there had been no apple. The skin on the back of her hands seemed grayish, as if the color of her blood had altered.
“Come, Mrs. Eldred,” the colonel said. “What would you like? Some fruit?”
She didn’t speak. The headache had gone now, but its ghost remained, and the back of her neck was stiff.
