my feet. I had to take two Distalgesic. By dawn I was just dropping off to sleep. Then Morris came in. He yanked out the pillow from under my head and started boasting in my ear.”
“Boasting?” Gemma said.
“What he’d done with Mandy. Sorry, Mandy. It’s not that—I mean, I didn’t believe him or anything.”
“If he were mine,” Gemma said, “I’d get him exorcised.”
Cara shook her head. “You could control, Morris, you know, if you were to approach him with unconditional love.”
Colette said, “Could you manage a tomato juice, Alison?”
Alison shook her head, and put down her spoon. “I suppose we’re in for another day of the princess.”
“Another day, another dollar,” Merlin said.
“Snivel, bloody snivel,” Al said. “Do they ever think what it’s like for us? Down I go,
“Well, it’s a living, Al,” Mandy Coughlan said, but Cara, startled, dropped her knife on the
Last night, Saturday, the first card Al had laid down was the Page of Hearts: significator of her pale companion, the emblem of the woman who appeared in the cards at the Harte and Garter, Windsor, on the morning when Colette first came into her line of vision: white hair, pale eyes, red-rimmed like the eyes of some small scurrying pet you ought to be kind to.
She looked up, at the woman, the client, who was sitting there sniffling. The reading Al was getting was close to home, it was for herself, not for the client before her. You can’t control the cards; they will only give the messages they want to give. Here’s the King of Spades, reversed: probably, what was his name … Gavin. Colette is aching for a man to come into her life. Nighttimes, she can feel it, in the flat at Wexham, the slow drag of desire beyond the plasterboard wall. Colette’s busy little fingers, seeking solitary pleasure … . What turn of fate brought Colette my way? Did I take up with her for my own advantage, for an advantage not yet revealed even to me: for some purpose that is working itself out? She pushed the thought away, along with any guilt that attended it. I can’t help what I do. I have to live. I have to protect myself. And if it’s at her expense … so what if it is? What’s Colette to me? If Mandy Coughlan offered her a better prospect I wouldn’t see her for dust, she’d have her stuff rolled up in that holdall of hers and she’d be on the next train to Brighton and Hove. At least, I hope she would. I hope she wouldn’t steal my car.
Diana is the Queen of Hearts; every time the card turns up in a spread, this week and next, she will signify the princess, and the clients’ grief will draw the card time and time again from the depth of the pack. Already the first sightings of her have been reported, peeping over the shoulder of her ancestor Charles I in a portrait at St. James’s Palace. Some people who have seen the apparition say that she is wearing a dress the colour of blood. All agree that she is wearing her tiara. If you look hard you will see her face in fountains, in raindrops, in the puddles on service station forecourts. Diana is a water sign, which means she’s the psychic type. She’s just the type who lingers and drips, who waxes and wanes, breathes in and out her tides; who, by the slow accretion of tears, brings ceilings down and wears a path into stone.
When Alison had seen Colette’s horoscope (cast by Merlyn as a favour), she had quailed. “Really?” she’d said. “Don’t tell me, Merlyn. I don’t want to know.” Farking air signs, Merlyn had said, what can you bloody do? He had felt for Alison’s hand with his damp Pisces palm.
Sunday morning: she gave readings in a side room, tense, waiting to go on the platform at 2 P.M. From her clients, through the morning, it was more of the same. Diana, she had her problems; I have my problems too. I reckon she had her choice of men, but she was a bad picker. After an hour of it, a feeling of mutiny rose inside her. Mutiny on the Bounty was the phrase that came into her head. She put her elbows on the table, leaned towards the punter and said, “Prince Charles, you think he was a bad pick? So you’d have known better, eh? You’d have turned him down, would you?”
The client shrank back in her chair. A moment, and the little poor woman sat there again, in the client’s lap: “Excuse me, miss, have you seen Maureen Harrison? I’ve been seeking Maureen for thirty year.”
About lunchtime she sneaked out for a sandwich. She and Gemma split a pack of tuna and cucumber. “If I had your problems with the Irish,” Gemma said, “I’d be straight on the phone to Ian Paisley. We all have our crosses to bear, and mine personally tend to be derived from my ninth life, when I went on crusade. So any upheaval east of Cyprus, and frankly, Al, I’m tossed.” A sliver of cucumber fell out of her sandwich, a sliding green shadow on her white paper plate. She speared it artfully and popped it into her mouth.
“It’s not just the Irish,” Al said. “With me, it’s everybody, really.”
“I used to know Silvana, in that life. ’Course, she was on the other side. A Saracen warrior. Impaled her prisoners.”
“I thought that was Romanians,” Al said. “It just goes to show.”
“You were never a vampire, were you? No, you’re too nice.”
“I’ve seen a few today.”
“Yes, Di’s brought them out. You can’t miss them, can you?” But Gemma did not say what signs she looked for in a vampire. She balled up her paper napkin and dropped it on her plate.
Two-twenty P.M. She was on the platform. It was question time.
“Could I get in touch with Diana if I used a Ouija board?”
“I wouldn’t advise it, darling.”
“My gran used to do it.”
And where’s your gran now? She didn’t say it: not aloud. She thought: that’s the last thing we need, Amateur Night, Diana pulled about and puzzled by a thousand rolling wineglasses. The young girls in the audience bounced up and down in their seats, not knowing what a Ouija board was. Being the current generation, they didn’t wait to be told, they yipped at her and whistled and shouted out.
“It’s just an old parlour game,” she explained. “It’s not a thing any serious practitioner would do. You put out the letters and a glass rolls around and spells out words. Spells out names, you know, or phrases that you think mean something.”
“I’ve heard it can be quite dangerous,” a woman said. “Dabbling in that sort of thing.”
“Oh, yes, dabbling,” Al said. It made her smile, the way the punters used it as a technical term. “Yes, you don’t
