Southern Discomfort

The pragmatist sat sulking in the corner of my brain, but I made myself smile at the girl as I unlocked my car door. 'Did you tell Annie Sue you were leaving?'

She nodded. 'Suddenly, it was just so smothery in there. I thought I was going to faint if I didn't get out.'

We talked of claustrophobia and scary experiences with elevators and tunnels, yet even after we had cleared the lights of Chapel Hill and were out on I-40 East zooming toward Dobbs, I kept feeling waves of tension from her. Nothing I said seemed to put her at ease.

Inevitably our talk drifted toward Carver Bannerman, his opportunistic treatment of Cindy and his attack on Annie Sue, and how Annie Sue was more worried about Mr. Herman and what was going to happen to him than what had nearly happened to her.

'At first she was scared maybe he was the one who'd hit Carver with the hammer,' Paige said.

'I know. But he didn't. Major Bryant's narrowed down the time to when he ran off the road and collapsed, so that proves he couldn't have.'

'If he had, what would've happened to Mr. Herman?'

'He'd probably have been charged with voluntary manslaughter.'

'And gone to jail?'

'Not necessarily.'

She picked up on the curiosity in my voice. 'Are these stupid questions? Dad never talked about his work much and the only time I was in his courtroom was when our whole history class went.'

'Well, manslaughter's usually defined as the unlawful killing of a human being without malice,' I explained. 'There's voluntary, involuntary and vehicular. Vehicular's when a death is caused by driving recklessly. You didn't mean to kill someone, but you weren't being careful. Involuntary manslaughter is usually from criminal negligence. You might argue that death occurred because of a tragic accident; the prosecution will argue that you should have realized that the situation could result in someone's death.'

'And voluntary?'

'That's when you meant to kill him, but—'

'If you meant to,' she interrupted, 'why isn't it murder?'

'For it to be murder, you'd have to think about killing somebody ahead of time and you'd probably try to do it so nobody would know you were the killer. In other words, intent to kill and premeditation. Those are the two elements of murder in the first degree. But voluntary manslaughter is when you did it in the heat of passion, without malice aforethought—no intent, no premeditation—and usually with plenty of provocation.'

'Like Carver trying to rape Annie Sue.'

'Exactly. No jury in the world would convict a man for trying to prevent his daughter's rape. At the most he'd get a suspended sentence. Maybe some community service. Under the circumstances, a district attorney might decline to prosecute or the judge might well dismiss the charges.'

She was silent as we exited from I-40 before reaching Raleigh and angled south onto Forty-Eight.

I glanced over and by the lights of the dashboard, I saw that her cheeks were wet with tears.

'Paige?'

'It's all my fault! I shouldn't have left.' Her voice was ragged with repressed sobs. 'Annie Sue's the very best friend I ever had—the first best friend I ever had—and I went and left her both times! But when Mr. Herman—'

'Hey, wait a minute,' I said, reaching out to pat her shoulder with my free hand. 'Carver Bannerman was slime. If it hadn't been Annie Sue, he would have jumped someone else, and sooner or later, someone was going to jump him back. You couldn't know he was going to show up that night. And as for Herman, surely by now you know that his bark's worse than his bite?'

She shook her head. 'Annie Sue always said—'

There was a service center up ahead and Paige was so distrait that I pulled in and cut the engine, and opened the windows so that the cool night air could sweep over us.

'Look, honey, I know y'all haven't known each other all that long, but don't you see how Annie Sue dramatizes everything? Her daddy growls a lot, but when it comes right down to it, have you ever known him not to let her do something she really wants to do? They're crazy about each other.'

Instead of reassuring her, I seemed to be making her more miserable. The worst thing about bucket seats is that you can't scoot over and hug somebody easily. Nevertheless, I unbuckled my seat belt and tried, but she was stiff in my arms. At this point, Annie Sue or any of my nieces would have their faces snuggled into my neck, bawling their eyes out, and already feeling better; but Paige couldn't let herself melt into the comfort of a sympathetic hug. She was choking on silent sobs and painful tremors shook her hunched shoulders.

It broke my heart to think of her going almost sixteen years without a best friend to giggle and cry with, to talk girl talk and swap secrets; and now that she did, she felt that she had somehow let her friend down, had failed Annie Sue when—

Wait a minute... both times?

'You left, took Cindy home, and then you went back to the WomenAid house, didn't you?'

Her eyes were dark pools of terror as she pulled away. She tried to deny, to shake her head, but no sound came out.

'You hit Carver Bannerman?'

Paige's eyes dropped and a long shudder ran through her. 'I didn't mean to kill him. Honest!'

Across the broad expanse of concrete, cars pulled in and out at the gas pumps under a bright white shelter,