Carnival of Souls

“Perfect,” he interrupted.

She smiled. “I was going to say weird.”

“Perfect,” he repeated.

He reached out toward her, and this time, she stepped closer again. He knew how she was feeling, and even if he couldn’t explain it all, he did know how to help. He remembered it, that feeling like discovering a wound inside that he hadn’t even known existed. The only way to ease the pain inside was to be closer to pack.

“I should have kissed you sooner, Mallory.” Kaleb put his hands on her shoulders, slid them down her arms, and then settled them on her hips. “So many answers are clear now.”

“Answers to what?” She breathed more than spoke the question.

“I’ll go wherever you go,” he promised.

“Because of one kiss?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. “And because of what that kiss means. We belong together. You know it. Somewhere inside, you know it. Even though the words sound crazy, you know they’re true.”

She didn’t reply, but she melted into his embrace. It was an answer without words, but he needed the words. They were pack. She was meant to be in his life, and now that he knew it, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. It was different, not more, but unique from the bond he shared with Zevi, and he wondered briefly if every packmate would feel different to him.

“MALLORY?” KALEB PROMPTED.

She looked into his eyes, wishing she could tell him something, anything, that would make this be something more than one fabulous — but fleeting — surprise. She couldn’t. Any words she had were ones she couldn’t speak. My father is a witch. Daimons are real. I can’t be with a normal boy because it’s too dangerous for both of us. She couldn’t admit those sorts of secrets — even to someone who made her feel like her blood had just become liquid fire. All she knew was that the thought of him leaving her life made her feel panic. It was just a kiss, she told herself. But the way he looked at her made her believe that it was more than that — for both of them.

“Kiss me again,” she said.

He didn’t build from tentative to feverish; he started with the sort of kiss that asked questions she didn’t know how to answer, the sort of kiss that reminded her how little she knew about him and quickly made her forget everything she knew about caution. If the boys she’d kissed before had been like him, she wouldn’t still be a virgin, but no one else had made her feel like she could be happy spending the rest of eternity kissing. It was perfect.

It was also exceedingly stupid. They barely knew each other, and no amount of physical connection would bridge the gulf of secrets that she had to keep between them.

She pulled away and put a hand on his chest to keep him at a distance. What do I really know about him? They’d run into each other a number of times over the past month, when he’d said he was home from school, but a few casual conversations and a soul-searing kiss or two weren’t reason enough to ignore all common sense. Hours of defense training had made her feel confident that she could handle anything boys tried, but in all of what she’d learned, there weren’t any lessons on how to avoid feeling like a skeeze because you reacted to a boy’s kisses like a cat discovering catnip.

“I think you need to go,” she said as steadily as she was able.

“I will go wherever you tell me. I want to see you again. I need to see you.” There was something desperate in his eyes and in his voice, and she wondered if it was the same urgency she felt.

Kaleb lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. “Please?”

“I’m moving tonight,” she said.

“I’ll come to you anywhere,” he promised.

“You hardly even know me.”

“I want to know you though. Are you going to punish me for just now finding you?” he asked.

“No, but…” She vacillated between wanting to believe him and doubting every word.

“Do you kiss everyone that way? Or did that feel like… magic? Like something unusual? If it didn’t, tell me to go, but if it did”—he shook his head and stared straight into her eyes—“admit that. I swear to you, Mallory, I’ve never felt like that because of a kiss.”

She looked directly at him, refusing to be embarrassed. “It was perfect, but one kiss doesn’t mean—”

“It could.” His hand slid up her back, and she closed her eyes as he whispered, “Tell me I can visit you. Please?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she hedged. She couldn’t think of anyone she’d ever felt so at ease around, anyone she instinctively wanted to trust, and she certainly hadn’t ever wanted anyone as much.

“Why?” He watched her, waiting for her answer, and she had to restrain herself from kissing him again.

She couldn’t answer.

He didn’t move. He simply asked, “Tell me where you’re going. Please?”

“What if it’s too far?”

Kaleb laughed softly. “Nowhere is too far.”

She clenched her hands, trying not to touch him. Now that they’d kissed, it seemed so easy, so natural, to pull him back to her.

He wouldn’t object.

Her mouth felt dry, and she took another steadying breath. She reached up to touch the skin where her pendant rested under her shirt. It was a silly habit from childhood that she’d never quite surrendered. The stone pendant was from her mother’s family, and her mother had made her promise repeatedly to never let it out of her reach. Mallory wrapped her hand around it for comfort.

All the while, Kaleb stayed completely still, watching her, waiting for her.

Mallory felt half dazed as she walked away to grab a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote down her new address and then, while she was at it, she added her cell number. “You can call me too,” she said in an almost-calm voice. “If you want to talk or whatever.”

“I do.” He took the paper, read it, and then tucked it into his pocket. “I’ll call you as soon as I’m able. I can’t call when I’m away, but when I get back here… I’ll call.”

“You aren’t allowed to make calls from school? I get not being able to make calls in class, but you should be able to call in the dorms or the grounds or whatever.” She looked at him with renewed suspicion. “What do they do? Take your cell phones?”

“I don’t have a cell phone, but I can get one if you want me to.” He took her back into his arms. “I’m yours to command, Mallory.”

She started to laugh, but stopped when she saw that he wasn’t smiling. He stared at her with the sort of intensity that briefly made her want to flee, and then made her want to grab hold of him and never let go.

He stared into her eyes and promised, “I’m yours, Mallory.”

He didn’t add that she was his, but she heard it all the same — and believed it.

CHAPTER 11

WHEN AYA ARRIVED AT the carnival, she took a moment’s pleasure in the crush of bodies and chaos of sound. Ruling-caste girls weren’t to be at the Carnival of Souls unaccompanied, but because of Marchosias’ Competition, no one tried to enforce that rule with her. Belias would’ve, but he was gone. A wave of grief swept through her at that thought. It’s for the best. She hadn’t asked to be in this situation, but she was determined enough that she would force herself to do what she must.

“Witch teeth!” a hawker called out as she passed.

“Grave dirt,” another beckoned.

“I know what you are,” a crow-eyed Watcher murmured into her ear, only to vanish before Aya could catch her.