Innocent Blood

Frank stopped. ‘You talking to me?’

‘That’s right. I said, you’re one of them, aren’t you? One of the liars.’

‘Whatever you say,’ Frank replied and carried on walking. He hadn’t gone far, though, before he realized that the young man was following him. He stopped again, and the young man stopped, too. He carried on walking and the young man came after him. Eventually Frank turned around and said, ‘Listen, I don’t know what you’re selling, but I’m not interested.’

The young man smiled. ‘I’m not selling anything, Frank, not the way you do. I don’t sell lies and impossible dreams. I don’t sell hope when I know that there isn’t any.’

‘How do you know my name?’

‘What does that matter? You’re one of the liars, that’s all that counts. You’re one of the moneychangers, in the temple of truth, and just like Our Lord we’re going to drive you out.’

‘Listen,’ said Frank, ‘I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, and frankly I don’t want to know. I came here to visit my son’s grave and I’d appreciate it if you’d show us some respect – me and him, both.’

‘Respect? What respect do you ever show to anybody? You write about joyful families, but where are they, all of these joyful families? You write about love, when there’s nothing but deceit. You make people believe in a happy world that doesn’t exist, and what greater cruelty could there ever be than that? “Look, folks! Mom and Dad and Thanksgiving dinner! Look, folks! Good overcomes evil, and the bad people go to jail! Oh, we may have to struggle. We may have to shed a few tears. But it’s always waiting for us, in the end! The answer to all of our prayers! The Golden City!”’

The young man took off his sunglasses. Both of his eyes were totally bloodshot, like a vampire. ‘The trouble is, it’s all a mirage, isn’t it, Frank? It’s all a story, made up in your head. If Only Pigs Could Sing, Frank. If only they fucking could.’

Frank took out his cellphone, ready to call the police, but the young man replaced his sunglasses, turned around, and walked briskly away through the cemetery until he had disappeared amongst the headstones.

That night, Astrid came around to see him just after eight o’clock, and they ordered take-out Chinese: prawn balls, shredded beef, chicken with ginger and vegetarian noodles.

‘How was your day?’ asked Frank, and promptly dropped a prawn ball under the couch.

‘Good,’ said Astrid.

‘Well, that’s good,’ said Frank, chasing the prawn ball with a spoon.

‘How about you?’

‘Good.’ He sat up straight. He knew that he was going to have to say it.

‘Good?’ she repeated.

‘Well, yes and no. It depends. I found out something interesting.’

‘Yes?’

‘I found out where you went.’

Astrid stared at him. ‘You did what?’

‘I followed you, OK? You can’t blame me. I care about you. I want to know who you are and what you do. I want to know who your friends are.’

She tossed down her chopsticks. ‘You followed me? You had absolutely no right!’

‘I’m sorry, I beg to disagree. You know everything there is to know about me. You know where I was born. You know all about my family. My job. My marriage. My favorite movies. I never hide anything. Why shouldn’t I know something about you?’

‘Because I don’t want you to. Isn’t that a good enough reason? Besides, when did I ever ask you anything about yourself? You volunteered it. Now you’ve ruined everything.’

She stood up, went across to the door and took down her coat. Frank got up, too.

‘Yesterday you went to Star-TV and today I followed you to Charles Lasser’s house. For Christ’s sake, Astrid, you and I are having an affair. We’re lovers! Don’t you think I have a right to know if you’re seeing another man?’

Astrid opened the door but Frank immediately slammed it shut. ‘This is insane! I’m committed to you, Astrid! I’ve crossed the road, and I’m never going back!’

Her cheeks were flushed and it was obvious that she was trying hard to keep her temper under control. ‘That still doesn’t give you the right to pry into my private business.’

‘Particularly your private business with Charles Lasser, Esquire?’

‘What I do when I walk out of here is nothing to do with you, Frank. If you can’t accept that, then I’ll just have to walk out of here for good.’

‘What’s the matter? You don’t trust me?’

‘Of course I trust you. But you don’t need to know anything more about me than you know already. It’s just not necessary.’

Frank looked around the room, almost as if he were expecting to see a more reasonable Astrid still sitting on the couch. Then he looked back at her, and stepped away from the door. ‘Go ahead. If you want to leave, be my guest. I thought that you and I had a future together, but it looks like I was deluded.’

‘Frank . . . I’ve told you so many times before. You can’t own me. I’m not one of your characters. I’m very fond of you. I think I might even be in love with you. But you’ll just have to take that on trust.’

‘Are you having an affair with Charles Lasser?’

‘I’m not going to answer that.’

‘Is Charles Lasser the man who’s been beating you?’

‘Frank!’

He knew by the tone of her voice and the way she was looking at him that if she walked out now he would never see her again, and of course he would never know where to find her. He went back to the couch and sat down, leaving her standing by the door.

When sunlight filled his bedroom the following morning, he woke up to find that Astrid was sleeping face- down, so close beside him that she was breathing on his arm. He thought he had never felt this way about any woman before, and never would again. He stroked the fine golden-brown hairs at the back of her neck, and ran his fingertip down her spine. God, she was magic.

As he lifted the sheet, he saw that she had an angry scarlet circle on her left shoulder. Lifting it further, he saw two more circles, above her hips, and one on each of her buttocks. They all looked sore, and they were still weeping. Jesus. Cigarette burns.

His immediate reaction was to shake her awake and demand to know who had burned her. But then he thought about her standing at the door last night, prepared to walk out on him and never come back. It was obvious that her life was a whole lot more dark and complicated than he could even guess at, and he didn’t want to lose her by blundering around like a lovesick Dusty from Pigs. How could he save her if she left him? He let the sheet fall softly back, turned over, and pretended that he was asleep.

He knew what he was going to do, however, and nobody in the world was going to stop him.

Later that morning, when Astrid had left, Frank called his old friend John Berenger at Star-TV.

‘Sloop, it’s Frank. How’s it going?’

‘Are you kidding me? It’s the California Gold Rush all over again, as far as we’re concerned. Our daytime ratings have gone into orbit. I don’t know how long it’s going to be before these Arabs blow Star-TV to kingdom come, but we’re making a shitload of money while we’re waiting to die.’ He hesitated, and then he said, ‘Sorry, Frank. Sorry. Me and my big mouth. How have you been? That was so sad about Danny. Tragic. Tragic. You got our flowers, yes? How’s Margot?’

‘Actually, Sloop, Margot and I have been taking a break from each other. Losing Danny . . . well, that was a hell of a jolt. We both decided that we needed some individual space.’

‘I’m real sorry to hear that, Frank. Kim and me, you know . . . our hearts go out to you.’

‘Thanks, Sloop. Listen, you probably know that Pigs has been put on ice.’

‘I heard, yes. Pigs and every other show that’s worth a damn.’ Three years ago, John Berenger had been head of creative development at Fox, and his boisterous enthusiasm for Pigs had helped to make it a hit from the very first episode. He was big and loud and opinionated, although he wasn’t anywhere near as big and loud and opinionated as his boss, Charles Lasser.