Silence. Except for the growing whine of the approaching sirens.
“Sid?!” I asked again, looking back at him.
“Ah shoot,” he replied, wincing in pain. He looked down at the blood that was oozing from his gut wound. “I forgot.”
Dejectedly he banged both of his weapons down on the roof of the car.
These were obviously Comment Trolls. Without authenticated login, people could just connect into this world anonymously, which was fine if you just wanted to watch, but anonymity tended to bring out the worst in people.
With the massive audience we’d accumulated for this game, and with the login anonymous, we’d just attracted the mother lode of Comment Trolls. Hundreds of them were now blocking the road. They’d use the opportunity to broadcast their opinions, whether they had anything to do with this world or not.
“I’m sorry dude,” continued Sid, waving a gun in the air. “I was just so busy. My mother was over, I had a splinter set this world up…”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Perhaps I could reason with them.
“Dude, please, this is 1988 Los Angeles,” I complained to the lead Comment Troll. “We’re just trying to get out of here. There were no trolls in ‘88 Los Angeles, and no vampires either.”
I considered this for a moment. On closer inspection those were Forum Vampires he had with him. They could be useful.
“Maybe there were vampires. But come on guys, please.”
My dimstim stats were dropping as fast as our gameworld audience. I had to do something entertaining, and quickly. The head Comment Troll was right in my face now. He smelled real bad and had some butt ugly oily pimples going on.
“Master,” he growled at me.
Well, at least he was playing along in character. Not a total asshole, then. Perhaps there was an opportunity here.
“Master, we are sorry, but this is an open gameworld, and we have the right to express our opinions here.”
I nodded my head.
“Yeah, this an open gameworld, but only if you’re coming to get laid and get paid,” I explained in a sing song tone, smiling to expose my two gold capped front teeth and holding a West Side finger salute near my chest. “Look if you want to join the Bloods or the Crips I’m down with that, but don’t be a bitch and mess up our game, homie.”
I shrugged and held my hands up, wide eyed, shaking my head.
“Who are you to tell me what to do?”
“I’ll tell you who I am, my brother,” I said, bringing my.357 Magnum up between his eyes and pulling the trigger.
Curiously, it didn’t result in his brains blowing out the back of his head as it should have, but the bullet seemed to glance off his thick skull and ricochet in a splatter of oily blood and hairy flesh. I guess I’d never tried shooting a troll in the head at point blank range with a.357 before.
As I considered this, my left forearm exploded in pain. The troll standing next to him had swung his axe to lop off my left hand which I was lifting up to give the lead Comment Troll the finger with.
Blood spurted out of my severed appendage as I backpedalled away from the threatening horde, blasting away indiscriminately with my firearm. Sid was covering my retreat, picking off trolls and vampires as they advanced. They were tough sons-of-bitches, and we wouldn’t have made it except for the suppressing automatic weapons fire that Vicious and Willy added as we ran back.
Breathlessly we all rallied behind the GTO, and I ripped off my t-shirt and mashed my severed forearm stump into my leg, trying to wrap a tourniquet under my armpit. Sid leaned over to help me as Vicious and Willy continued to let go with their M-16’s.
“Where the hell is Martin?” I managed to pant out.
He should have been manning the rocket launcher. That would give those assholes something to think about. Sid ducked up to look inside the car.
“Aw man, I think Martin is dying,” he replied. He tightened up my tourniquet.
I wrenched around to take a look myself. Martin was writhing in the back seat, soaked in blood and whimpering.
“Goddamn baby,” I said, shaking my head. “Martin, what the hell?”
I turned back to Sid.
“Those guys were miles away, they had tons of cover. How the heck did he get so messed up?”
This was going to get a lot trickier with one man down, Sid barely functional and me missing an arm.
“You’re useless, you know that?” I yelled at Martin.
He whimpered back between the pain, “Sorry Bob, I didn’t mean to…”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re always sorry,” I muttered under my breath.
Sid stared at me disapprovingly. He was shaking his head.
“Dude, you shouldn’t be so mean to him all the time,” Sid reproached. “Talk to him, okay?”
I said nothing.
“Okay?” demanded Sid between the bursts of automatic weapons fire. “You promise?”
Rolling my eyes I sighed, “Okay, yes. You’re right. But let’s just get out of this first, okay?”
Looking back up over the GTO, I could see the trolls were reassembling and advancing by holding up their bloodied comrades in front of them as shields. They were fast too. This wouldn’t be easy. I looked around for the rocket launcher as Sid picked up an Uzi from the back seat and snapped in a clip.
We looked at each other, starting to enjoy ourselves. I was awkwardly trying to slide the launcher from the back seat, with my one remaining hand, to balance on my shoulder, when all of a sudden a massive burst of gunfire erupted from both sides of us.
The LAPD had finally arrived, and pandemonium erupted for a while as it turned into a three way pitched battle. By now, the vampires had taken wing and began swooping down on the hapless police officers who just screamed in disbelief.
A few of the braver cops continued to take some pot shots at us, but their overall enthusiasm for taking out gangland members seemed to dissipate after the first few were hacked to pieces by foul smelling demon spawn wielding their skull topped axes. Sid and Willy laid off a few more rounds at the trolls, but then just gave up, laughing.
I didn’t have long to live and I could feel the lifeblood ebbing away from this body. I propped myself up on the hood and leaned against the bullet-ridden windshield of the GTO. Martin had already died some time ago.
“Dude, that was actually pretty cool!” I admitted to the lead Comment Troll, taking the offered smoke from him to have a drag.
He was sitting up on the car with me. Most of his bloody forehead had been shorn away by my bullet, showing white bone underneath, but he was in a jolly mood.
“That gameworld audience went through the friggin’ roof,” he agreed. “There are already thousands of copycats going on.”
As he said this, an LAPD officer came running out of the bushes, disheveled and bloody but intact, running up to me.
“Mother of God, please help me, please,” he whimpered, his hands pressed together in a prayer position.
I just raised my eyebrows and shrugged, giving the smoke back to the troll. The officer looked at the two of us and began backing away, shaking his head and making small pathetic noises. At that moment a large, muscular troll burst through the same bushes the cop had come through.
“Ah ha!” the new troll announced. “There you are!”
He pounced on the officer, who managed to back away a step or two, holding his hands up defensively.
The troll began methodically hacking away at the officer with his axe. I had to close one eye as bodily fluids
