sun. His pinky finger was no longer than my pinky nail, and I kept kissing his hands over and over, unable to feel his skin against my lips enough times.
Time passed quickly there. Before the end of the day, he was a toddler, and then grade-school age. He didn’t appear older than he was, like Bex always had. He was perfectly human, and yet flawlessly beautiful like his father. By the time the shadow under the oak had faded, my son was a man, as tall and distinguished as Jared. I watched all of this in awe, but a little sad at the same time. It had gone by too fast. I wanted more time with him. I wanted to start over. A strange mixture of pride and sadness surged through me, and I remembered how just a few hours ago I was pregnant with him.
The shade now a shadow, my son walked over to me and held out his hand. He looked so much like his father. “It’s time,” he said with a small smile. My smile.
“Time for what?”
“The end.”
My eyes popped open. Jared had left his seat, and I could hear him conversing with Bex and Kim somewhere in the back of the plane. I rubbed my eyes, and turned to my right. Samuel sat across from me, his massive frame nearly too large for the seat.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked.
“I did, actually.”
He smiled. “I know. I was just being polite.”
“Oh. Right.” I maneuvered my body out of my seat, stretching.
Jared’s eyes met mine, and he stood, moving to the side.
“Again?” Bex teased.
“Yes, Bex. I’m pregnant. When you have a full-grown infant doing a handstand on your bladder, I’ll keep track of how many bathroom breaks you take, mmk?” I waddled down the aisle, passing Ryan and Claire, who didn’t seem to notice my presence. I noticed that Ryan’s pinky was overlapping Claire’s however, and she wasn’t beating him to a bloody pulp for it. I smiled, and made my way to the lavatory.
I opened the door and frowned. I felt like Winnie the Pooh trying to squeeze into the honey tree. I looked down the aisle, meeting the inquisitive eyes of my husband. “I always feel I’m going to get stuck in there.”
Jared laughed. “If you do, I’ll get you out.”
Bex held up a white bottle. “I have lotion. That should help.”
I rolled my eyes and made my first attempt to navigate the small space.
Without event — or lotion — I returned to my seat, but not without the irritating snickering of Kim and Bex.
“Shut it,” I grumbled, glaringly aware that my penguin walk only made their laughter more boisterous.
I turned my attention back to Jared. “I don’t suppose you’ve thought about the little things.”
“Such as?”
“Bathrooms? Sleeping arrangements? Privacy?”
“All luxuries that won’t be readily accessible.”
“Pardon?” I said, my eyebrows shooting up two inches. “I’m heavily pregnant, and there’s no bathroom?”
Jared shifted nervously. “Yes.”
I sighed with relief, and looked to the ceiling. “Oh, thank God.”
“But…not like the facilities you’re used to.”
I peered over at him.
He shifted again. “It’s more like a…a…hole. In the ground. But there is running water below so it’s not as bad as it sounds.”
My face screwed into disgust. “You expect me to balance this,” I said, pointing to my belly, “over a
“You have Claire and Kim to help.”
I crossed my arms and faced the wall. “Not funny.”
“It can’t be helped.”
I relaxed, and covered my face. “I’m so sorry. I sound like a brat. It’s just…” Tears burned my eyes. “It’s not the way you imagine your pregnancy, you know. Not that I ever really imagined it, but living the last few weeks of my pregnancy in a moist, dark hole, with medieval accommodations and the birth,” I said with a faltering breath. “I’m scared to death. It’s going to be painful, and I trust you, but…not being in a hospital, or even have a midwife there. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it.”
Jared wrapped his arms around me tight. “It is. But, Claire and I have researched it to death, talked to every medical professional we know, and brought every supply we’ll need.”
“I’m still scared,” I said. A tear fell down my cheek.
Jared rested his cheek on my hair, and his fingers pressed into my skin. “I’m going to love you through it.”
I nodded, and pressed my face into his chest.
Claire tapped Jared on the shoulder. “We need to ready the weapons and check the supplies.”
Jared nodded and released me. Everyone looked to him, and he gestured to everyone. “We have a lot of gear to hike through the city. The most important packages are weapons, med supplies, and rations. These will be carried by myself, Claire and Bex. Ryan, you’ll be extra eyes on the book, but stay close to Claire.”
Ryan nodded.
Jared continued, “Kim, stay close to Bex. If any one gets separated, hold your position and we’ll double back. Under no circumstances is anyone to go off alone. I don’t care if you’re in a panic, or you see a better way to go. Fracturing the group puts us all at risk, so we stay together. Got it?”
Everyone agreed.
The pilot announced the beginning of our descent. Claire and Bex had already brought the supplies and weapons packs to the front, and we were prepared to scramble to the waiting vehicle.
Jared was clearly anxious, but Samuel didn’t seem fazed.
I nudged my husband. “Samuel said he would ride with us to the old city. Does that mean things will be calm until then?”
“I don’t know. We should be prepared for anything.”
I nodded, and wiped my sweaty hands on my pants.
Claire and Ryan both had AK-47s slung around their shoulders, pistols in the pockets of their cargo pants, and communication devices in their ears. Claire passed two more to Bex and Jared, and they spoke quietly to each other, testing the clarity and to see if they worked correctly.
The more they rushed around to prepare to land, the more nervous I became.
Claire handed me a vest, and Jared encouraged me to put it on. I watched Claire hand the same vest to Kim, Bex, and Ryan, and I realized they were bulletproof. Mine was surprisingly light.
Jared bent down to ensure my laces were tied and secure.
“Really?” I said. “I’m not a toddler.”
“I’m just covering all the bases, sweetheart.”
Kim and Samuel sat back, barely noticing the activity around them.
“Ryan,” Claire barked. “Hand me the fifty-cal. The launcher is in pack two.”
Ryan nodded, and rifled through one of the larger duffels. He handed her what looked like a heavy backpack.
As the wheels touched the runway, Claire and Ryan put on their own dark sunglasses and stood by the door, assault rifles in hand. I unfastened my seat belt, and Jared took my hand. Kim and Nina in the middle, Bex bring up the rear. Claire and Ryan on point.
At the door, Samuel closed his eyes and whispered something both beautiful and menacing, and then opened the door. He walked out, and stood, his arms crossed, on one side of the stairs.
“It’s quite safe, I assure you,” he said, his deep voice echoing. The tarmac was empty except for our waiting Humvee. It was borrowed, light tan, and gauging by the bullet holes, had already seen action in its lifetime.
Claire took off her sunglasses and looked up at Samuel in awe. “It’s going to be like this until we get to the old city?”
