craning their necks toward the sound. Others gathered on nearby rooftops, or watched out apartment windows. The applause grew louder with each song, until it sounded like we were at a rock concert in Mick’s prime. Twenty years melted off Mick as he performed.
When the last note fell silent, a deafening roar filled the air, blocking out even the drone of the helicopters. The press rushed forward wielding microphones, but Mick pushed through them to reach Summer and me. The three of us came together in a hug.
Mick ruffled my hair; I could just hear him over the crowd. “You did it. He’s gone.”
I threw my fist in the air and hooted. For a few hours I’d been able to forget my own impending end, and, I thought, as I stood there with my fist in the air and remembered, it had been time well-spent.
CHAPTER 38
An hour later, Grandpa took over. I was grateful to the cosmos that I’d gotten a good four hours, enough to see Mick’s glorious concert to the end. Now I returned to my own struggle, clinging to my body as Grandpa went about planning his new life.
I, on the other hand, went about planning my death.
If I was going to die, I decided I would at least choose the time and place. It wasn’t an idle decision; I knew I would spend decades wherever I slipped out.
The idea of that, the hard truth of it, rattled me to the bones. My time was almost up.
I tried to calm myself so I could think, but all I could think about was that place where all of the color drains out of your eyes. I dragged my thoughts back to the matter at hand. Where did I want to be?
Gilly had been lucky, slipping back into Deadland on the roof, where his life’s ambition had been realized.
It would be nice to have company. Maybe I could end up near Summer. It would be comforting to have Summer with me. I was further gone than her, though, so unless she made a point of dying in the same place as me, I couldn’t make it work.
I’d much rather be outdoors. The thought of spending decades in an apartment, like Annie, depressed the hell out of me. Better to see trees, water.
Maybe the ocean.
It came to me with a clarity bordering on prescience. I should die beside Kayleigh, on that pier overlooking the ocean. It was perfect—twins reunited, the timeless ocean. There couldn’t be much of Kayleigh left, but maybe there was something. We could mix and blow away together.
I pushed the image away. Thinking about it was like falling into a damp, dark well. That’s what disturbed me most—being swept off a crumb at a time. I would be far more comfortable with an afterlife that involved staying whole.
I wasn’t sure if this plan was even possible; Tybee Beach was a three-hour drive, if I drove like mad. I was getting three or four hours tops, and less each time.
If I was going to do it, I had to do it the next time I was in control. As Grandpa drank, cut-and-pasted strips, and began getting back in touch with a few of his old friends, I made a mental to-do list so when I next took control I could spring into action.
CHAPTER 39
I came back to myself, probably for the very last time. I was a little drunk. That was a good thing; it took the edge off the terror I felt, contemplating this as my last day on Earth. There was no turning back, though. I had decided. I grabbed a bottle of water and headed to the Maserati, praying I could make it to Tybee in time.
As I drove I had to keep wrapping my mind around what was transpiring. It was over. I couldn’t believe it.
What would Grandpa do now? Would he live out his life claiming to be me, or insisting he was himself? Would he marry and father children? If he did father children, would I be the biological father, or would he? Imagining my body carrying on in the world without me was like trying to picture two objects occupying the same space. I was dying, and I was not.
Fifteen minutes into the trip I realized I had overlooked a painfully obvious detail. The quarantine. I rolled to a stop in front of a roadblock on 1-75. A National Guardsman around my age, a pistol strapped at his waist, squatted as I lowered the electric window.
“Do you have transmittal papers?” he asked. Then his eyes brightened. “Hey, you’re the
I offered my hand through the window. “Finn Darby.”
He turned as he shook, called, “Hey, it’s the
Another uniform-clad guard came over, a chubby woman in her twenties, carrying a rifle. “You draw
“I do, yeah,” I said. “Listen.” I propped an arm on the steering wheel and leaned out the window, trying to channel my inner Mick. “Can you help me out? I’ve got business I need to get to, but I don’t have any papers.” I held out my empty hands.
They looked at each other; the woman shrugged. Grinning, the guy said, “Will you draw a couple of Wolfies first?”
I sketched my last two Wolfies, asked my new friends their names, inscribed the drawings to them, and I was on my way.
Fame. It didn’t suck. If only I was going to be around to enjoy it.
Ten minutes later I thought of something else that hadn’t occurred to me while I was planning my swan song. Grandpa would turn right around and head back to the city as soon as he took control. He wasn’t going to hang around the pier on Tybee for even a second to wait for me to exit. Even if I threw my car keys and wallet off the pier, it would make it harder for him to get home, but it wouldn’t keep him on the pier.
For the thousandth time I silently cursed my son of a bitch grandfather. Then, on second thought, I cursed him out loud so he could hear me.
I needed to lock myself to a bench or something. Handcuffs would be perfect, but I didn’t know where to buy them. I tried to picture the pier—were there benches? If not, the railing might work. Had it been made of metal or wood? If it was wood Grandpa might be able to knock the rail out where it was joined. The surest thing would be to lash myself to a piling under the pier, but then I’d be in the water…
An idea occurred to me. A sneaky idea. Heart hammering, I ran it over and over in my mind, examining it for flaws. When I couldn’t find any I went over it again, deciding if I really wanted to do it, and if I had the guts.
Yes, and yes, I decided.
I called information and got the tide line for Tybee. High tide would be in six hours. Perfect.
There was a Home Depot near the exit to Forest Park. Tires squealing, I flew into the parking lot. Inside I jogged up the lock aisle and grabbed a twenty-foot-length of chain and their best padlock.
Back on the road, I brought up Summer’s number, wondering if it would be Summer or Lorena who answered. I punched the number. The rings built one on top of another, then the familiar click as I was transferred to voicemail. I chuckled at the irony.
“Hi,” I said after the beep. “Hi Lorena and Summer. I’m about out of time. I don’t want to wonder each time I get a few hours if it will be my last, so I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m going to the spot where my sister died, and—” And what? Kill myself? That wasn’t right. “I’m going to stay with Kayleigh. Summer—” I hesitated again, I didn’t want Lorena to hear what I wanted to say. I decided it was too important to leave unsaid. “In a couple of weeks, if you find yourself in the same situation, maybe you’ll decide to join me. I’m guessing Kayleigh won’t be very good company by now. It would be nice to have a friend. My mother can show you where I
