The Golden Lily

over giving blood vanished at “we’d be a team.”

“We’ll consider it,” said Sonya. There was a sparkle in her eye, and I remembered her saying she could see affection in auras. Could she detect Angeline’s crush? “For now, I’d rather not take you away from your schoolwork. It’s less important for Eddie since he’s already graduated, but you should keep up with it.” Angeline looked unhappy about that. She’d had a number of difficulties with her classes, not to mention some outright embarrassments-like when she’d been asked to create a map of Central America and had shown up with one of Nebraska and Kansas. She put on a cocky face, but I knew Amberwood overwhelmed her sometimes.

Jill joined us, looking bright and refreshed. Ideally, Moroi drank blood every day. They could survive on this twice-a-week schedule, but I’d noticed that Jill grew tired and rundown the farther she got from feedings.

“Your turn, Adrian,” she said.

He was yawning and looked startled at being noticed. I don’t think he’d really been interested in Sonya’s blood experiments. As he stood up, he glanced over at me. “Will you walk with me a sec, Sage?” Before I could even lodge my protest, he said, “Don’t worry, I’m not taking you to the feeding. I just want to ask you a quick question.”

I nodded and followed him out of the room. As soon as we were away from the others, I said, “I do not want to hear any more ‘witty’ commentary on Brayden.”

“My commentary’s hilarious, not witty. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.” He came to a halt in the hallway, outside what I suspected was Dorothy’s room. “So, it seems my old man’s coming to San Diego on business next weekend.”

I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms, already getting a bad feeling about this.

“He doesn’t know why I’m here, of course, or that I’m with Jill. He doesn’t even know what city I’m in. He just thinks I’m partying in California, up to no good as usual.” I wasn’t surprised that Mr. Ivashkov wouldn’t know the true reason for Adrian being here. Jill’s “resurrection” was top secret, as were her whereabouts. We couldn’t risk any extra people-not even someone who might not mean her harm-finding out where she was.

What did surprise me was that Adrian was working so hard to act like he didn’t care what his father thought- but he obviously did. Adrian’s face was convincing, but there was a note of bitterness in his voice that gave him away. “Anyway,” Adrian continued, “he said he’d meet me for lunch if I wanted. Normally, I’d blow it off… but I’d kind of like to know what’s going on with my mom-they never tell me when I call or e-mail.” Again, I picked up mixed emotions from him. Adrian’s mother was serving time in a Moroi prison for crimes of intrigue. You wouldn’t know it by his cocky attitude and sense of humor, but it must have been hard on him.

“Let me guess,” I said. “You want to borrow my car.” I was sympathetic to those with difficult fathers, even Adrian. But my compassion only went so far and didn’t extend to Latte. I couldn’t risk any dents. Besides, the idea of being stuck without any way to get around scared me, especially when vampires were involved.

“No way,” he said. “I know better than that.”

He did? “Then what do you want?” I asked, surprised.

“I was hoping you’d drive me.”

I groaned. “Adrian, it takes two hours to get there.”

“It’s pretty much a straight shot down the highway,” he pointed out. “And I figured you’d drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else.”

I eyed him. “That’s true.”

He took a step closer, a disconcertingly earnest expression all over his face. “Please, Sage. I know it’s a lot to ask, so I’m not even going to pretend you’d benefit. I mean, you can spend the day in San Diego doing whatever you want. It’s not the same as going to see solar panels or whatever with Brady, but I’d owe you-literally and figuratively. I’ll pay you gas money.”

“It’s Brayden, and where in the world would you get gas money?” Adrian lived on a very tight allowance his father gave him. It was part of why Adrian was taking college classes, in the hopes that he’d get financial aid next semester and have a bit more of an income. I admired that, though if we were all actually still in Palm Springs come January, it’d mean the Moroi had some serious political problems.

“I… I’d cut back on things to come up with the extra money,” he said after a few moments of hesitation.

I didn’t bother hiding my surprise. “Things” most likely meant alcohol and cigarettes, which was where his meager allowance usually went. “Really?” I asked. “You’d give up drinking to go see your dad?”

“Well, not permanently,” he said. “That’d be ridiculous. But maybe I could switch to something slightly cheaper for a while. Like… slushes. Do you know how much I love those? Cherry, especially.”

“Um, no,” I said. Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects. “They’re pure sugar.”

“Pure deliciousness, you mean. I haven’t had a good one in ages.”

“You’re getting off topic,” I pointed out.

“Oh. Right. Well, whether I have to go on a slush-based diet or whatever, you’ll get your money. And that’s the other reason… I’m kind of hoping the old man might agree to up my income. You probably don’t believe it, but I hate always borrowing from you. It’s easy for my dad to dodge phone calls, but face-to- face? He can’t escape. Plus, he thinks it’s more ‘manly’ and ‘respectable’ to ask for something directly. Classic Nathan Ivashkov honor.”

Once again, the bitterness. Maybe a little anger. I studied Adrian for a long time as I thought about my next response. The hall was dim, giving him the advantage. He could probably see me perfectly while some details were more difficult for me. Those green, green eyes I so often admired in spite of myself simply looked dark now. The pain on his face, however, was all too apparent. He hadn’t yet learned to hide his feelings from Jill and the bond, but I knew he kept that lazy, devil-may-care attitude on for the rest of the world-well, for everyone except me lately. This wasn’t the first time I’d seen him vulnerable, and it seemed weird to me that I, of all people, was the one he kept baring his emotions to. Or was it weird? Maybe this was just my social ineptitude confusing me again. Regardless, it pulled at something within me.

“Is that really what this is about? The money?” I asked, tucking my other questions aside. “You don’t like him. There has to be something more here.”

“The money’s a big part. But I meant what I said earlier… about my mom. I need to know how she is, and he won’t tell me about her. Honestly, I think he just wants to pretend it never happened- either for that reputation of his or maybe… maybe because it hurts him. I don’t know, but like I said, he can’t dodge if I’m right there. Plus…” Adrian glanced away a moment before mustering the courage to meet my eyes again. “I don’t know. It’s stupid. But I thought… well, maybe he’d be impressed that I was sticking to college this time. Probably not, though.”

My heart ached for him, and I suspected that last part-earning his dad’s approval-was bigger than Adrian was letting on. I knew all about what it was like to have a father who continually judged, whom nothing was ever good enough for. I understood as well the warring emotions… how one day you could say you didn’t care, yet be yearning for approval the next. And I certainly understood motherly attachment. One of the hardest parts of being in Palm Springs was the distance from my mom and sisters.

“Why me?” I blurted out. I hadn’t meant to touch on those earlier questions, but I suddenly couldn’t help myself. There was too much tension here, too much emotion. “You could’ve asked Sonya or Dimitri to drive you. They probably would’ve even let you borrow their rental car.”

The ghost of a smile flashed across Adrian’s face. “I don’t know about that. And I think you know why I don’t want to risk being trapped in a car with our Russian friend. As for the rest… I don’t know, Sage. There’s something about you… you don’t judge like the others. I mean, you do. You’re more judgmental than any of them in some ways. But there’s an honesty to it. I feel…” The smile left his face as he faltered for words. “Comfortable around you, I guess.”

There was no way I could stand against that, though I find it ironic he was allegedly most comfortable around me when Moroi gave me panic attacks half the time. You don’t have to help, an inner voice warned me. You don’t owe him anything. You don’t owe any Moroi anything that isn’t absolutely necessary. Have you forgotten Keith? This isn’t a part of your job. The bunker came back to me, and I recalled how one vampire deal had landed Keith in Re-education. How much worse was I? Social interaction was an inevitable part of this assignment, but I was blurring all the lines around it again.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll do it. E-mail me what time you need to leave.”

That’s when the funniest part came. He looked totally floored. “Really?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You gave me that whole pitch and didn’t really think I’d agree, did you?”