The Golden Lily

Still, we stayed at the restaurant for a long time. So much so that when we left, I saw it was completely dark. I wasn’t parked that far away-and not even in a remote spot-but suddenly, the anticipation of a walk alone in the dark made me freeze up. Brayden was saying something about seeing me at the dance and then noticed my reaction.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I…” I stared off down the street. Two blocks. That’s how close my car was. There were people out. And yet, I was choking up. “Would you walk me to my car?”

“Sure,” he said. He didn’t even think twice about it, but I was mortified the entire way. As I’d told Eddie and Adrian, I didn’t usually need help from others. Needing it for something like this was especially humiliating. Rose wouldn’t need an escort, I thought. Even Angeline wouldn’t. She’d probably beat up a few pedestrians on the way, just to stay in practice.

“Here we are,” said Brayden, once we reached Latte. I wondered if he thought less of me for needing an escort.

“Thanks. I’ll see you Saturday?”

He nodded. “You sure you want to meet there? I can pick you up.”

“I know. And I wouldn’t mind going in your car. No offense, Latte.” I gave the car’s side a comforting pat. “But I’ll have to drive my brother and sister. Easier this way.”

“Okay,” he said. The smile he gave me was almost shy, contrasting with his earlier confidence in academic topics. “Can’t wait to see your costume. I got mine from a theatrical company. Not an ideal reproduction of Athenian garb, of course, but the best I could find.”

I’d nearly forgotten that I’d left my costume in the hands of Lia. Brayden wasn’t the only one interested in seeing what I’d be wearing.

“Looking forward to it,” I said.

After a few moments, I wondered why he wasn’t leaving. He still wore that shyness and uncertainty, as though he were trying to work up the nerve to say something. Only, as it turned out, speaking wasn’t what he wanted to do. With a great show of courage, he stepped forward and kissed me. It was nice, though once again a little underwhelming.

From the look on Brayden’s face, however, he might have been sent to new heights. Why didn’t I have the same reaction? Maybe I’d done something wrong after all. Or maybe I was deficient?

“See you Saturday,” he said.

I made a mental note to add kissing to my list of research topics.

I got back to Amberwood and texted Adrian as I was walking into my dorm. There’s a defense class that starts tomorrow night. $75. Despite his interest last night, I was a little skeptical of whether he’d snapped out of his depression enough to be up for something like this. I wasn’t even sure if he was going to his art classes anymore. A minute later, I got his answer: I’ll be there. This was followed by another text: Can u spot me the cash?

Jill was walking into the dorm, just as I was, both of us barely getting in before curfew. She didn’t even notice me and instead looked troubled and pensive. “Hey,” I called. “Jill?”

She stopped halfway through the lobby and blinked in surprise upon seeing me. “Oh, hey. Were you out with your boyfriend?”

I winced. “Not sure I’d call him that yet.”

“How many times have you gone out?”

“Four.”

“He’s taking you to the dance?”

“I’m meeting him there.”

She shrugged. “Sounds like a boyfriend to me.”

“Sounds like you’re quoting something from Kristin and Julia’s dating guidebook.”

That brought a fleeting smile, but it didn’t last. “I think it’s just common sense.”

I studied her, still trying to get a feel for her mood. “Are you okay? You looked like something was bothering you. Is it… is it Adrian? Is he still upset?” For a moment, I was actually more worried about Adrian than her.

“No,” she said. “I mean, well, yes. But he’s a little better. He’s excited about learning self-defense with you.” The bond would never cease to amaze me. I’d only communicated with Adrian a minute ago.

“‘Excited?’” I asked. That seemed like an astonishingly strong reaction.

“It’s a distraction. And a distraction’s the best thing for him in these moods,” she explained. “He is still upset, though. He’s still depressed over his dad.”

“I shouldn’t have taken him to San Diego,” I murmured, more to myself than her. “If I’d refused, he wouldn’t have been able to get there.”

Jill looked skeptical. “I don’t know. I think he would’ve found a way, with or without you. What happened between them was going to happen eventually.” She sounded remarkably wise.

“I just feel terrible seeing Adrian like this,” I said.

“These moods come and go for him. Always have.” Jill got a faraway look in her eyes. “He’s laid off the drinking a little bit-for my sake. But then that just opens him up for… well, it’s hard to explain. You know how spirit drives people insane? When he’s down like this and sober, it makes him more vulnerable.”

“Are you saying Adrian’s going crazy?” That was not a complication I was ready for.

“No, not exactly.” She pursed her lips as she thought. “He just gets a little scattered… weird. You’ll know it when you see it. He kind of makes sense but kind of not. Gets dreamy and rambles. But not in the way I do. It’s got like a-I don’t know-mystical feel. But it’s not actually magical. It’s just him kind of… losing it temporarily. It never lasts and, like I said, you’ll know it when you see it.”

“I think I might have…” An unexpected memory flashed back to me, of just before Sonya and Dimitri had arrived. I’d been at Adrian’s, and he’d looked at me strangely, like he was just noticing me for the first time. Thinking about it still sent chills through me.

My God, Sage. Your eyes. How have I never noticed them? The color… like molten gold. I could paint those…

“Girls?” Mrs. Weathers was at her desk, shutting things down for the night. “You need to get to your rooms.”

We nodded obediently and moved toward the stairs. When we reached Jill’s floor, I stopped her before she could leave. “Hey-if Adrian’s not the problem, then what was bothering you when you came in? Is everything okay?”

“Huh? Oh, that.” She flushed in a cute kind of way. “Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. Micah… um, well, he kissed me tonight. For the first time. And I guess I was just kind of surprised at how I felt about it.”

I was surprised they hadn’t kissed before and supposed I should be grateful. Her words resonated with me. “What do you mean? Did it feel a lot less exciting than you expected? Like you were just touching someone’s lips? Like you were kissing a relative?”

She gave me a puzzled look. “No. That’s crazy. Why would you think that?”

“Um, just guessing.” I suddenly felt silly. Why had it felt that way for me?

“It was great, actually.” A faraway look came over her. “Well, almost. I couldn’t quite get into it as much as I wanted because I was worried about my fangs. It’s easy to hide them talking and smiling. But not while kissing. And all I kept thinking was, ‘What am I going to say if he notices?’ And then I started thinking about what you and everyone else said. About how this thing with Micah isn’t a good idea and how I can’t keep things hands-off forever. I like him. I like him a lot. But not enough to risk exposing the Moroi… or endanger Lissa.”

“That’s a noble attitude.”

“I guess. I don’t want to end things yet, though. Micah’s so nice… and I love all the friends I’ve made by being with him. I guess I’ll just see what happens… but it’s hard. It’s a wake-up call.” She looked so sad as she went into her room.

Continuing on to mine, I felt bad for Jill… but at the same time, I was relieved. I’d stressed over her casual dating of Micah, worried we’d be facing some dramatic, romantic situation where she refused to give him up because their love was too great and transcended their races. Instead, I should have had more faith in her. She wasn’t as immature as I sometimes thought. Jill was going to realize the truth and resolve this on her own.

Her words about Adrian also stuck with me, particularly when I picked him up the next evening for our first