The Golden Lily

say “no” would be.

He shot me a wry look. “You don’t have to look that relieved.”

“Sorry,” I said, trying to mask my embarrassment. “Why’d you ask?”

“Because I know the perfect guy for you. I’m pretty sure he’s your soul mate.”

We were back in familiar territory now: logic vs. lack of logic. “I don’t believe in soul mates,” I said. “It’s statistically unreasonable that there’s only one ideal person for everyone in the world.” And yet, for half a moment, I wished it was kind of possible. It’d be nice to have someone who understood some of the things that went on in my head.

Trey rolled his eyes. “Okay. Not a soul mate. How about just someone you could maybe go out with once in a while and have a nice time with?”

I shook my head. “I don’t have time for anything like that.” And I didn’t. Keeping everything in order with the group, and pretending to be a student, was a full time job as it was.

“I’m telling you, you’d like him. He goes to a public school and just started at Spencer’s.” Spencer’s was a coffee shop Trey worked at, an arrangement that yielded me discounts. “The other day, he was going off on unaerobic vs. aerobic respiration, and I was thinking, ‘You know who this sounds like? Melbourne.’”

“It’s anaerobic respiration,” I corrected. “And it still doesn’t mean I have the time. Sorry.” I had to admit, I was immensely curious about how that topic would have come up between baristas, but figured it was best not to encourage Trey.

“Okay,” he said. “Don’t say I never tried to help you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I assured him. “Hey, there’s Eddie.”

“My cue to go then. See you guys.” Trey gave a mock salute to Eddie and me. “Don’t forget my offer if you want a hot date, Melbourne.”

Trey left, and Eddie shot me an astonished look. “Did Trey just ask you out?”

“No. He’s just got some co-worker he wants to set me up with.”

“Maybe that’s not a bad idea.”

“It’s a terrible idea. Let’s go outside.”

The desert heat didn’t seem to care that it was October, and I led us to a bench right by the dorm’s stucco walls. Partial shade from some nearby palm trees offered mild relief. People swore the temperature would taper soon, but I’d seen no sign of change. Eddie handed me my car keys and a shopping bag from a local superstore.

“I had to guess at size,” he told me. “When in doubt, I went big. Figured it was safer that way.”

“Probably.” I sat down on a bench and rifled through his purchases. Jeans, khakis, a few solid colored T-shirts. They were very practical, very much something a no-nonsense guy like Eddie would pick out. I approved. “The size actually looks right. Good eye. We’ll have to send you out shopping more often.”

“If that’s what I have to do,” he said, face serious. I couldn’t help but laugh in surprise.

“I was joking.” I put the shirts back in the bag. “I know that couldn’t have been fun.” Eddie’s face gave nothing away. “Oh, come on. It’s okay. You don’t have to play stoic with me. I know you didn’t enjoy it.”

“I’m here to do a job. Doesn’t matter if I enjoy it or not.”

I started to protest but then thought better of it. After all, wasn’t that my philosophy too? Sacrificing my own wants for higher goals? Eddie was intensely dedicated to this mission. He never backed down. I expected nothing less from him than single-minded focus.

“So, does that mean you’re up for some experiments tonight?” I asked.

“Of cours-” He stopped and reconsidered. “Are Jill and Angeline coming?”

“No. Angeline’s still under house arrest.”

“Thank God,” he said with visible relief.

His reaction was probably the most surprising thing to happen today. I couldn’t imagine why Eddie would look so relieved. Aside from his guardian loyalty to Jill, he was also crazy about her. He would’ve done anything for her, even if it wasn’t his job, but refused to share his feelings with her. He thought he was unworthy of a princess. An uneasy thought occurred to me.

“Are you… are you avoiding Jill because of her and Micah?”

Micah was Eddie’s roommate, a nice guy who caused Eddie all sorts of therapy-worthy trauma because he bore so much similarity to Eddie’s dead best friend, Mason. Micah also had a weird pseudo-dating relationship with Jill. None of us were happy about it, since (aside from the Keepers) humans dating Moroi or dhampirs was strictly taboo. We’d finally decided it would be impossible to keep Jill from a social life, and she swore nothing serious or physical was going on between her and Micah. They just spent a lot of time together. And flirted incessantly. He didn’t know the truth about her, but I wondered at what point he’d want more from their relationship. Eddie kept insisting it was better for Jill to have a casual relationship with a human than one with an “unworthy” dhampir like him, but I knew it had to be torturous.

“Of course not,” said Eddie sharply. “It’s not Jill I want to avoid. It’s Angeline.”

“Angeline? What’s she done now?”

Eddie ran a hand through his hair in frustration. His was a sandy blond, not far from my own, which was a dark gold. The similarity made it easy to pass ourselves off as twins. “She won’t leave me alone! She’s always dropping these suggestive comments when I’m around… and she won’t stop staring at me. Like, you wouldn’t think that’d be creepy, but it is. She’s always watching. And I can’t avoid her because she’s with Jill a lot of the time, and I have to keep Jill safe.”

I thought back on recent interactions. “Are you sure you’re reading this right? I’ve never noticed anything.”

“That’s because you don’t notice that kind of thing,” he said. “You cannot imagine how many excuses she finds to rub up against me.”

After seeing her homemade jean shorts, I actually could imagine it. “Huh. Well, maybe I can talk to her.”

Like that, Eddie snapped back to all-business. “No. It’s my problem, my personal life. I’ll deal with it.”

“Are you sure? Because I can-”

“Sydney,” he said gently. “You’re the most responsible person I know, but this isn’t what you’re here to do. You don’t have to take care of everything and everyone.”

“I don’t mind,” I said automatically. “It is what I’m here for.” But even as I said it, I wondered if that was true. A bit of the anxiety from the bunker returned, making me question if what I did was truly Alchemist responsibility or the desire to help those who-against protocol-had become my friends.

“See? Now you sound just like I did earlier.” He stood up and flashed me a grin. “You want to come with me to Adrian’s? Be responsible together?”

His words were meant as a compliment, but they echoed too close to what the Alchemists had told me. And Mrs. Weathers. And Jill. Everyone thought I was so amazing, so responsible and controlled.

But if I was so amazing, then why was I always so unsure if I was doing the right thing?

CHAPTER 3

EVEN THOUGH EDDIE had told me not to worry about Angeline, the curious part of me couldn’t help but prod him about it on the drive over to Adrian’s apartment. “How are you going to handle it?” I asked. “Have a heart-to- heart?”

He shook his head. “Mostly I was going to simply avoid her unless absolutely necessary. Hopefully she’ll lose interest.”

“Well. I guess that’s one method. But, I mean, you’re a pretty direct person.” If faced with a roomful of Strigoi, he would’ve walked in without hesitation. “Maybe you should try that kind of approach instead. Just confront her and tell her honestly that you’re not interested.”

“That’s easy in theory,” he said. “Not so much in person.”

“Seems easy to me.”

Eddie was skeptical. “That’s because you’ve never had to do it.”