and scroll down until I see the name of the person who left the last message.
My heart stops.
I read it again. Orlando.
My computer blinks awake. Tot yells something in the distance.
“
And in my ear, through the phone, I hear a familiar baritone voice-Orlando’s voice-and the final words of a dead man.
19
'On a scale of one to ten,” Dr. Palmiotti asked, “would you say the pain is…?”
“It’s a four,” the President said.
“Just a four?”
“It
“A nine for what?” his sister Minnie asked, already concerned. The doctor was talking to the President, but it was Minnie, as she stood across from Palmiotti, who was being examined.
She held her right palm wide open as he poked each of her fingers with a sterilized pin, testing to see her reaction. Whenever she missed therapy for too long, sharp pains would recede and feel simply dull. “What’s wrong with him?” she asked, motioning to her brother.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Palmiotti promised.
“If he’s sick…”
“I’m not sick. Just some stupid back problems,” the President insisted. “And a really crappy night’s sleep.”
“Listen to me, I know they won’t say this on the front page of the paper, but you need to hear it, O: I have faith in you. Stewie has faith in you. Your wife and kids have faith in you. And millions of people out there do too. You know that, right?”
The President turned, looking at his sister, absorbing her words.
Palmiotti knew how much Minnie loved her brother. And how much Wallace loved her back. But that didn’t mean it was always best for him to have her around. By now, most of America had heard the story: How Minnie was born with the genetic disease known as Turner syndrome. How it affected only females, leaving them with a missing X chromosome. How 98 percent of people die from Turner syndrome, but Minnie lived-and she lived without any of the heart or kidney or cognitive problems that go along with it. In fact, the only thing that Minnie Wallace got from Turner syndrome was that she was-like a few of its victims-manly.
Broad chest. Low hairline. Short neck. With one X chromosome, she looked like Moe from the Three Stooges. Perez Hilton said if she were one of the Seven Dwarfs, she’d be Stumpy. Or Fatty. Or Dumpy. When it first got posted, the President tried to let it roll off. He issued a statement saying that the comment made him Grumpy. But Palmiotti knew the truth. Nothing hits harder than when someone hits home. For the President… for Minnie… the last time Palmiotti saw pain like that was the night of the accident that caused her stroke.
The worst part was, he saw the makings of a similar pain right now-and from the strained look on the President’s face, despite the little pep talk from his sister, that pain was just starting to swell.
“Minnie, go do your therapy,” Palmiotti ordered.
“I can do it right here. You have the squeeze balls-”
“Mimo, you’re not listening,” the President interrupted. “I need to see my doctor. By myself.”
Minnie cocked her head. She knew that tone. Grabbing her flamingo cane, she started heading for the door.
“Before I go…” she quickly added, “if you could speak at our Caregivers’ Conference-”
“Minnie…”
“Okay. Fine. Gabriel. I’ll talk to Gabriel,” she said. “But just promise me-all these back problems-you’re sure you’re okay?”
“Look at me,” Wallace said, flashing the insta-smile that won him 54 percent of the popular vote. “Look where I live… look at this life… what could I possibly be upset about?”
With her limp, it took Minnie nearly a minute to leave the office.
The President didn’t start speaking until she was gone.
20
'
My legs go numb, then my chest.
“Beecher, lookit this!” Tot yells behind me, though I swear to God, it sounds like he’s talking underwater.
“Tot, gimme one sec,” I call back.
“You need to see this, though,” Tot insists, shuffling toward me with a thick stack of paper held by a binder clip.
Still gripping the phone, I lean forward in my chair, lurching for the keypad and pounding the 3 button.
“
“Y’ever see this?” Tot interrupts, waving the pages.
“Tot, please… can it wait?”
I hit the 3 button again to buy some time. The phone’s not near my ear, but I still hear Orlando’s opening.
“You want to know if that was George Washington’s dictionary or not?” Tot asks. “Just listen: When George Washington died, Mount Vernon made a list of every single item in his possession-every candlestick, every fork, every piece of art on his walls…”
I hit 3 again.
“… and of course, every one of GW’s books,” Tot says, tossing me the copy of
“Okay… I get it, Tot.”
“The more you rush me, Beecher, the slower I’m gonna talk.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, just…
“The point is,” Tot continues, “the only way to find out if this is really GW’s book is to first find out if he even owned a copy.”
I hit 3 again. “And?”
“According to this, he had one.” He points to the list.
“Or even
“Actually, that’s easy enough to find out.” Stepping toward my computer, Tot shoos me from my seat. “C’mon… Up!.. Old man needs to sit,” he says as I hop aside, stretching the phone cord to its limits. He’s already