Sir, I didn't but 'e was so heavy and awful and I didn't know what else to do, I didn't know what to do ... see, look ye here...'
I pulls me shiv out o' me vest and tosses it on the deck. Sloat's blood is still on it and it sickens me to see it.
'See, Sir, it warn't Liam, it was me and I'm sorry, Sir, I'm sorry.'
And now the snot's runnin' out o' me nose and mixin' wi' the tears and runnin' in me mouth, and I can taste the tears and the snot in me mouth but I don't care. I'm just howlin' wi' fear and gaspin' wi' sobs and snortin' tears and snot all over the Captain's rug and I keeps on sayin', '
'Take him out of here!' roars the Captain, but I don't hear him 'cause I'm out o' me mind, and when hands are laid on me I thinks they're gonna take me right out and do me right then and I lets out a scream that's got all the horror and terror that's ever been in me, and I screams and screams...
But all they do is take me out and throw me in the brig till I calm down and they have a chance to talk over what I just told them. Liam's in there, too, but at least he's untied now and sittin' on the bunk.
'That was a brave, brave thing to do, comin' in there like that,' he says. 'I owe you my life, Jacky.'
'I don't feel so very brave,' says I, and I goes over and lies down and puts me head in his lap and falls into a dead sleep.
The Marines come and get me in the late afternoon. They tie my hands in front of me. 'Sorry, boy, rules are rules,' and they take me in the Captain's cabin, where all the officers are looking dreadful and stern, and they take me up and make me face the Captain at the lectern. He looks haggard and there are dark bags under his eyes.
'Faber, I swear, if you start that screeching again I'll take you out and hang you myself. Do you understand?'
'Yes, Sir.'
'Good. Place your hands on the Bible. Do you swear to tell the truth, before Almighty God?'
I swears that I do.
'Now, where did all this take place?'
'In the starboard-side rope locker, Sir.'
'And what were you doing in this rope locker?'
'Sleeping, Sir.'
'And why were you sleeping in the rope locker instead of in your hammock?'
Deacon Dunne is sitting at a small table writing all this down.
'Because my mates don't like me anymore.'
'And why don't your mates like you anymore?'
I hesitates a bit before answering. 'They think I'm queer, Sir.'
'And are you?'
'No, Sir.'
'What do you mean by 'queer'?'
'They think I stirred up the trouble between Liam and Sloat when I didn't do nothin' to stir up nobody.'
'You didn't lead Sloat on in any way?'
'No, Sir. He scared me. I tried to stay out of his way.'
'All right. Now tell us what happened in the rope locker.'
I tell them, this time without the howling and crying and groveling. When I am done, there is only the sound of Deacon Dunne's quill scratching.
'Very well, Faber, you may stand down. Sergeant, take him away.'
I turn away from the lectern and the Marine leads me back to my cell. They untie my hands. This time I am alone in the brig. They have let Liam go. I am the only one on trial now.
I look up to the light from the small grating in the ceiling high overhead. The grating lets out into the hold above and allows in a little light and air. I've seen a lot of things in my life, but this is the first time I've seen bars between me and the world.
'We're sorry, Jacky. We didn't know. We thought...'
It's night now and the boys have snuck up to the grating.
'That's all right, lads,' I say, looking up. I think I can make out four heads in the gloom. 'What do you hear?'
'They was in there for hours talkin' about it. They brought back some of Sloat's mates and Liam, too.' I recognize Davy's voice in the darkness.
'Right. And they went down to check the rope locker and sure enough there was your blanket still there and there was blood, so that helps your story,' says Tink. 'And you got some of the officers on your side. I know Mr. Lawrence is.'
'Mr. Haywood ain't your friend, though, that's for sure...'
This sends a shiver through me. I know the First Mate hates disruption and disorder above all things, and I ain't exactly been helpful in that regard.
'Jacky.' This from Jaimy. 'You wouldn't have been sleeping down there if I hadn't been...'
Silence.
'No. It's all right,' I say finally. 'You couldn't know.'
Silence, again.
'I want you to go away now,' I whisper. 'My Will is here in my vest, and my stuff is in the third level of the middle hold, back behind the casks.
'And lads...,' I says, tryin' to hold steady, 'if they do me ... I don't ... I don't want you to watch. Find an excuse. Go down below. Or at least close your eyes. I ... I don't think I'll be very brave.'
'All right,' they say, all quiet and low.
'And Jaimy...'
'Yes.'
'No—Nothing...'
Chapter 28
No, they don't hang me or do anything to me at all except let me rot in the jail cell all night long, rockin' back and forth on the bunk, knowin' the morn would bring either the sweet air of freedom in me chest or Jack Hemp hard across me windpipe. I know it's my free and easy ways that got me in this fix, and I resolves to be better if I survives.
At dawn the Marines come back for me and tie my hands, this time behind my back, and I think it's 'cause that way I won't be able to claw at the rope around my neck when I'm hauled up, which wouldn't look military, and I'm glad I used the chamber pot just before they got there 'cause I don't want to be disgraced that way. We march up the passageway and I hear a low whistle, and there's Bliffil in a side corridor, swingin' a little noose between his thumb and forefinger and lookin' at me over it and smilin', and my knees turn to water and my eyes turn back in my head, but one of the Marines slaps me around a bit and I manage to stand up before the Captain, who looks at me sternly and says, 'We find that you, Jack Faber, acted in self-defense and therefore are to go free, but it is the hope of this courtmartial that your night in confinement will be a lesson to you to be more quiet and reserved in your demeanor, especially quiet for the love of God. Dismissed.'
The next Sunday, Deacon Dunne gives a fire-and-brimstone sermon on sodomy that leaves very little doubt
