hundred years? Every historian’s dream. Charles, however, has an illness that keeps him indoors out of sunlight so he thinks it’s time to go to his two colleagues who make up the Lunar Club, fellow historians whom he trusts. He convinces them she exists and they pool resources and skills, eventually managing to locate the woman they think might be Evelyn working as a maid in a hotel under an assumed identity.
‘They don’t want to spook her so Howard Baxter keeps a low profile, and just as he’s about to make first contact at the woman’s home men turn up and take her away. At first he thinks it’s Doradus, but he follows them to the Lambert-Chide building in Brentwood on the Golden Mile. More to the point they enter by the back door. She goes in but she doesn’t come out. The Lunar Club do some historical digging and discover that labs below the building had been used for clandestine research into chemical warfare during the Second World War.
‘They don’t fully know what’s going on, but by putting two and two together they suspect Evelyn is being held as part of some kind of experiments into ageing. They needed to get her out and that’s where my mother, Stephanie Jacobs, comes into it. Howard Baxter managed to secure a secondment in the archives at Brentford in order to spy out the comings and goings of staff. Eventually he spotted, and was able to target, my mother. Pipistrelle persuaded her to help get Evelyn out of the lab complex. She died freeing her.
‘Evelyn’s heavily pregnant with twins. You’re born OK, but as you know your twin sister dies during birth. Evelyn is moved to a safe house the Lunar Club have prepared. At first, they don’t agree about what they should do next. They know they’re sitting on weird stuff here. One of them argues for going public. The others urge caution. Whilst they’re arguing it out Doradus comes sniffing too close to Evelyn’s safe house. She suspects, wrongly, that the Lunar Club is in cahoots with Doradus and she makes a bolt for it with you as a babe in arms. Lambert-Chide was right: she chose to abandon you rather than risk Doradus finding you with her. That couldn’t have been an easy choice for her to make.
‘But that’s not quite the end of the story. Charles loses all sign of Evelyn but traces you to a welsh orphanage. He knows you are Evelyn’s child; you are found with a tiny coin on a chain which he saw her make for you after you were born. It was almost as if sooner or later she knew you must part ways, but needed some way of demonstrating who she was if she had to come back into your life. And that had to happen at some point, in order to help you survive.
‘As for the Lunar Club, things get a little heated. It dawns on them they’re dealing with something far more sinister, far bigger than they bargained for with the Church of Everlasting Bliss, meaning they dare not go public. That would have been virtual suicide when they realise the depth of Doradus’ influence in society. Two of them — Carl Wood and Howard Baxter decide it’s best to let the entire thing drop, for their own safety, so the Lunar Club collapses and the men hardly see each other again, keeping quiet about the entire affair. But Pipistrelle can’t forget Evelyn or you. He tries to find her again, but he can’t do it on his own. That’s why he eventually needed me.’
They ate in silence. Gareth’s mind had reached overload, all manner of conflicting emotions swirling sickeningly within him and adding to his utter sense of confusion. The overriding feeling was one of despair. It hung in the cold, clammy air, wrapped its chilled arms around him. Erica laid still, her face slightly twisted by pain. He put his barely-touched soup on the floor and lifted her head carefully so that it rested on his lap. He stared fixedly at the few strands of her hair that draped thread-like over his fingers.
‘She knew she had to help you survive, in the same way she’d been taught by de Bailleul,’ Caroline said. ‘She’d prepared false ID, and the box of gold was for you. It wasn’t stolen. It had been acquired over a long period of time. Gold is truly portable. She always avoided banks. Safer to have something stashed away you can exchange for money rather than traceable accounts. And she generally only took jobs where she could keep her head low, where few questions are asked about the comings and goings of employees, working for cash-in-hand, leaving as little a trail as possible. But Doradus discovered where she’d been working in Manchester, made a botched attempt at killing her then came close to discovering who you really were. So she was forced out of hiding earlier than planned. The rest is history,’ she said, not fully realising the irony of her words.
‘I still don’t read you,’ he said. ‘I still don’t get why you do this, why you’ve put your life at risk for us. We can’t mean anything to you.’ He saw how she looked at him, a strange, almost fond light in her eyes. She turned her head away from him. ‘What’s driving you, Caroline Jacobs?’
‘Hate,’ she said, though the word carried not an ounce of feeling. ‘The hatred of all the evil we are capable of. Religion, science, they’re both as bad as each other, both of them searching for their own Final Solution. Unspeakable things have been done in both their names. And science, well that’s just religious extremism in another guise, the search for the Holy Something that can never be found. Lambert-Chide and his kind are as bad as Doradus and every group that ever put a bomb under a car or flew a plane into a building. And in-between them both, ordinary people get crushed.’ She turned to study him, the angle of her chin lit by the faint blue glow from the primus stove which she’d left burning. ‘You and me, we’re not so different. Both of us alone. Both of us don’t know where we came from, don’t know where we’re headed.’ She rubbed at her temple with her index finger. ‘I do what I do to ease the hate, but it doesn’t work. I guess it never will. It’s like a cigarette for the soul. One last drag and it will all feel better. But it’s never one last drag, is it? You’ve gotta keep lighting up.’
‘Your mother was very special, to give her life for another. I don’t know if I could do that.’ He thought back to Fitzroy. All he had to do was say no but he couldn’t even manage that. He felt small, pathetic, useless, surrounded by all these brave people that held up a mirror to his own cowardice.
‘I guess it was hatred that drove her too,’ she said. ‘This time it was hatred of herself, at what she’d become. She was a Polish Jew, born in early 1945 shortly after her mother, my grandmother, arrived in Auswich. She was born into the camp. Stephanie and her mother survived, but her entire family were wiped out. Not an aunt, uncle or cousin remaining. They came to England after the war, settled in the north, Stephanie being put through university on the back of my grandmother’s hard graft in the cotton mills. She never really saw her daughter’s success, because ill health brought on by her time in the camps eventually killed her, leaving Stephanie all alone. All alone except for her medical career, which she threw all her energies into, doing the best she could for her mother’s sake. She got spotted and recruited by Lambert-Chide as an exceptional researcher for Project Gilgamesh.
‘But she finds herself involved in experiments that she convinces herself are for the greater good. She looks like she has everything — money, a bright career ahead of her and the patronage of one of the world’s wealthiest men. But the Lunar Club did some digging into her past, looking for some kind of emotional lever, maybe even something they could use as blackmail. Being historians they soon found out what had happened to her family during the Second World War. Pipistrelle used that information to make her see things as they were, and the evil nature of what they were doing to another human being. Confronted with this she realised that she was no better than those sick bastards at Auswich and she was horrified, felt compelled to do something to help. I don’t know, maybe it was partly some kind of atonement for her part in things; maybe by getting your mother out of Project Gilgamesh she was helping her own mother out of Auswich. Who knows exactly what goes on in people’s fucked-up heads?’ She tore off a chunk of bread and stuffed it into her mouth. ‘As for me, well I’m the product of one of a number of short-term relationships she had. Seems she struggled to hold them down.’ She gave a flicker of a smile. ‘Same trouble here. Like mother like daughter, eh?’ Then the smile wafted away as if on a breeze.
‘You don’t fool me,’ he said. ‘You come over as cold and heartless, but that isn’t you.’
‘No? What do you know?’
‘I know that it’s a mask you wear. It’s because you care that you are like you are, that you’ve done what you’ve done. So what is it, your time out in Afghanistan?’
She got hurriedly to her feet. ‘That’s not open for discussion.’
‘Who are you really fighting here, Doradus or your own little demons?’
‘Cut it, Davies.’ She went to the door.
‘Something screwed you up, that’s for sure,’ he said. ‘I’m betting this is the tale of a lonely young woman, missing a mother she never knew. I reckon she’s the worst kind of angry teenager and needs somewhere to let it all out, something to kick at when she’s finished kicking at all the doors she can. So somehow she ends up in the army. She finds comradeship, yet she can lose herself in a faceless mass. She’s good at her job, because she’s good at anything she does, launches herself into whatever it is with a passion, because passion burns up energy, helps burn up the hatred in her. Maybe they put her on special ops or something. Whatever it was they trained her for she witnesses things that screws up her head even more, because war isn’t therapy; it’s hell. She’s discharged but the war doesn’t go away, and neither does the lonely teenager kicking at doors. It’s all still in there, poisoning the soul. Then somehow she stumbles across what Pipistrelle’s been involved with. She persuades him to tell her about Evelyn and me. More importantly, she finds out how her mother really died. I don’t know, maybe Pipistrelle has to tell her because he needs her help. Whatever happened, she gets involved too. In some ways it suits her. It’s what
