Death of a Delft Blue

‘How do I know?’ asked Laura. ‘By the way, I thought you were in Amsterdam to hold your brother’s hand at his sitting.’

‘Oh, Gran and the aunts wanted me to, but I got bored as soon as they left, so I hired a car and had lunch in Maastricht and then came on here to pick up and go back with them, but so far I haven’t set eyes on them. I suppose I’ll run into them later. What are you going to do next? I bet you’re thinking of the grotto. Let’s do it together. I shall probably scream when we get inside. I suffer from claustrophobia, you see.’

‘I suffer from schizophrenia,’ said Laura. ‘It makes me violent. If you screamed I should probably knife you.’

Binnie giggled.

‘I do so awfully admire you, if you don’t mind my saying so,’ she observed in ardent tones. ‘So we’ll do the grotto together, shall we? Have you really got a knife on you? I knew a man who threatened his wife with one. It was called a lethal weapon, and he was fined something quite appalling for possessing it. That was in England, of course. We live in England. I think I must have told you. Now that I’m engaged to Bernardo, though, Florian says he’s going to live over here with Grandma Binnen. I only hope he likes it. If you ask me, Aunt Ruby is a man-eater.’ She giggled again. ‘Come to think of it,’ she added, ‘she looks as though she could do with a square meal or so, doesn’t she?’

Laura declined to comment on Aunt Ruby’s undoubtedly cadaverous appearance, and found herself committed to accompanying Binnie to the grotto. The guide counted heads at the beginning of the expedition, and at times repeated this procedure. It would have been easy enough, Laura realised, to lose a tourist or so on the journey if this had not been done. To her satisfaction, Binnie remained almost entirely silent during the tour, breaking into loquacity only once or twice to remark that the effigy of the dragon and that of the crocodile reminded her of Laura’s formidable employer, saying which she giggled violently.

‘I wonder,’ she said, when they emerged, ‘what it would be like to get lost down there? I should try to make for the chapel, and pray and pray and pray until somebody found me. They’d have to find you, wouldn’t they?’

Laura replied, rather shortly, that some tourists were utterly irresponsible and deserved to get lost if they refused to obey the rules. She added that she had enjoyed the trip and that she agreed with the guide that ‘nature and art had combined to make one of the wonders of the modern world.’ Binnie assented wholeheartedly to this tongue-in-cheek paraphrase, and added that they had been walking on the bed of a prehistoric ocean. She particularised.

‘That underground lake!’ she exclaimed. ‘I suppose that was just the ultimate remains of the sea!’

‘Fresh water, and drinkable, according to the guide,’ said Laura. ‘Doesn’t sound much like the sea.’

Binnie giggled.

‘There shall be no more sea,’ she quoted. ‘A funny idea, don’t you think?’

‘I don’t care about it at all,’ Laura replied. ‘Patmos may have been one thing, but the British Isles are quite another.’

‘You are too utterly with it,’ said Binnie earnestly. ‘I think I should agree with every word you ever uttered. Your voice is sheer magic in my ears.’

‘Oh, go and boil your head,’ retorted Laura. ‘You bore me stiff, you little chump!’

Binnie giggled again. Suddenly she spotted her relatives.

‘Now to confess to Gran that I hadn’t the money to pay for the car, so the garage are chalking it up to her account,’ she said. ‘They’re the people she always hires from, so I knew it would be all right. Do her good to sub. up for once. She’s terribly mean, you know. Well, well, so long! Be seeing you!’

‘I sincerely hope not,’ said Laura.

CHAPTER FIVE

A Dinner in North Norfolk

‘My food was plain, but always varied and wholesome, and the good red wine was admirable.’

Samuel Butler

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A considerable amount of work awaited Dame Beatrice and Laura on their return to England, and for two or three weeks they lived and were kept busy at the Kensington house and at Dame Beatrice’s London clinic. The arrears of secretarial work were cleared up eventually by Laura and then she learned that the tiresome case on which her husband had been engaged for some months had been resolved and that he was due for leave. Upon being apprised of this fact, Dame Beatrice opted for Laura’s immediate return to the Stone House in Hampshire, where Detective Chief-Inspector Gavin could join her while they planned how most enjoyably to spend the free time offered to him.

‘And leave you here on your own?’ demanded Laura.

‘Although, like Katisha, I may well be sufficiently decayed,’ retorted Dame Beatrice, ‘I am not physically inert, mentally deranged or spiritually stagnant. I shall manage very well for a week or two. Moreover, as your son’s school holidays are imminent, you may direct him to proceed hither, and I will do what I can to entertain him and keep him out of your way for a week or two.’

‘You spoil him.’

‘No, I do not. I feel that Hamish benefits from my tutelage. Besides, Carey will invite him to stay on his pig- farm. Hamish loves pigs and is very good with them. Denis will be there, and so will Jonathan, Deborah and their twins, besides Jenny’s own couple of children. There will be plenty for Hamish to do, and that, as you well know, is the agreed formula for a child’s health and happiness. Nothing distresses me more than to hear a whining little boy (girls are not so prone to this particular malady or maladjustment) begging his parents to tell him whether there is not anything he can do. It is a serious malaise, and I do feel most strongly…’