Cold, Lone and Still

‘I thought a dagger was also part of a Scotsman’s native attire, sir.’

‘A dagger? On the dance floor?’

‘One of those small, ornamental knives they wear in their football-style socks, I meant.’

‘Oh, a sgian dubh. I do have one at home, but I didn’t bring it with me. As you see, I’ve nothing up the sleeve of my shirt, either, neither have I quarrelled with the deceased at any time or suffered any insults from him addressed either to my sister or myself.’ (I was not too sure about this.)

‘You don’t speak with a Scottish accent, I notice.’

‘It’s been said, you know, that Scotsmen speak better English than the English.’ (He himself spoke up-market Cockney.) ‘In any case, I had the misfortune to be brought up in England and was educated at an English public school.’

‘I think that is all I need trouble you with at present, then, though we may need to ask you some more questions about your knife at a later date, sir.’

‘Why don’t you ask Todd whether he’s got a bomb tucked into the waistband of those elegant flannels? He’s Bolshie-trained, you know — or is it IRA?’

‘There is no need to be offensive, sir, either to me or Mr Todd.’

‘But how to be offensive is the only thing I learned at my public school, Inspector. It is Inspector, isn’t it?’

‘Detective Chief Inspector Bingley, CID, to be exact, Mr Minch. You wear the kilt, but is Minch a Scottish name?’

‘Probably of Norse origin, don’t you think? North Minch, Little Minch — no, I couldn’t say, but they’re on the map. Our mother’s name used to be Menzies, but nobody pronounces it correctly down here and we don’t care for the Southern Cross rendering of it.’

‘So your name is really Minch, but you are entitled to the tartan.’

‘How horribly suspicious you make it sound! I almost wish our ancestors had not chosen it. Now that I come to consider the name closely, there is something pinchbeck about it. Oh, and my first name isn’t James. It’s Jamie. Just a fond father’s foolishness, but one has no control over one’s parents at the time of infant baptism. My sister’s name is not Jane, but Jeanie, but she got tired of hearing my father singing “I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair” — her own hair, as you may have noticed, being a rather resolute shade of red.’

‘May I ask what your profession is, sir?’

‘I collate, co-ordinate and, generally speaking, grapple with the organising of the collection of household waste in my borough, but I am hoping to stand for Parliament.’

Minch’s eloquence and his ability to waste the inspector’s time appeared not to have soured the man. Probably Minch had invented his share of the interview. Anyway, by the time he had finished with Trickett at the police station, the inspector was calm enough when it was my turn. However, urbane though he was with me, when at last my interview came, I did not like the experience one little bit. I had made up my mind not to tell him any more than he could gain by my answers to his questions and I hoped that neither Trickett nor Hera had told him anything about my discovery in the moorland ruins. It was soon apparent that, so far, they had not done so, but already I was regretting that I had babbled to Trickett. The fewer people who knew that, apparently, I was in the habit of discovering murdered corpses, the better it would be for me, I thought. All the same, the detective’s first questions concerned the Scottish walk, although not, thank goodness, the row I had with Carbridge at Crianlarich.

‘I understand that you met the rest of the party at the Glasgow youth hostel. Do you confirm that?’

‘Yes, that’s right.’

‘Did you know any of the others beforehand?’

‘My fiancee, Miss Camden, of course, and we had run into Todd at the airport hotel, but we didn’t know him apart from that.’

‘You and Miss Camden picked up the others again at Rowardennan, I understand.’

‘Yes, that’s right.’

‘Why did you not travel more of the way with them?’

‘An engaged couple need a bit of privacy. We had never had any intention of joining a party. The only reason we were ever with the rest of them was because we all used the same youth hostels, having no option.’

‘Otherwise you and Miss Camden stayed in hotels.’

‘And at Balmaha in separate cottages.’

‘How did you get on with Mr Carbridge?’

‘I didn’t see enough of him to get on or not get on with him. I wrote him off as a rather irritating ass and a bit of a megalomaniac, that’s all.’

‘He seems to have had the reputation with his companions of being a good mixer.’

‘Very likely. I wouldn’t know.’

‘Having been told on your invitation card or letter that this was to be a reunion party, were you surprised when Mr Carbridge did not turn up?’

‘But he did turn up. He must have done, or I wouldn’t have found him dead in that passage, would I?’

‘Please confine yourself to answering my questions. What were you doing in that passage?’

‘Falling over dead bodies, I suppose.’ As soon as I had said it, I realised in what very bad taste it was. ‘Sorry,’ I said quickly. ‘Actually, I had sneaked out to have a smoke.’