her to Logan and Jake.
What more could she do?
Her body sagged.
What more could she do? Nothing. She had nothing.
She was alone.
Maggie swallowed, fighting not to lose it right there at her table.
A teacup, saucer and spoon rattled.
“Here you are. Some nice tea. If you want anything else, just wave.”
After the waitress left, Maggie spotted several women at the far end of the restaurant.
Soccer moms from Logan’s team.
They were subtly nodding as scraps of whispered conversations spilled her way.
“…yes, that’s her…Logan’s mom…should go over there…”
No, please. Today of all days. Leave me alone, please.
She couldn’t face them.
She fled to the restroom, thankful it was empty apart from the stranger in the mirror with worry etched in her face. Her ordeal was exacting such a toll she was barely recognizable to herself.
“Maggie?”
Dawn Sullivan had entered. She and her mechanic husband, Mac, had moved to California from Dallas a few years ago and their boy, Arlo, played on Logan’s team. “Hello, Dawn.”
“So it is you.” Dawn joined her in the mirror. “My Lord, it has been ages, hasn’t it?”
“Quite a while, yes.”
“So how you all holding up?”
“To be honest, not so good, today.”
“You just hang in there.”
“Thanks, I’ll do my best.”
“You know, my sister’s divorce from the jerk she married nearly killed her. Custody can get ugly, but she survived and was stronger for it.”
“Jake’s not a jerk. And we aren’t divorcing.” “Sorry. It just seemed so obvious things were headed there after his blowup on the field that day-then him leaving you and all.”
“That’s not right, Dawn.”
“Damn straight it’s not right, what with Jake seeing another woman and all.”
“What?”
Maggie turned to Dawn.
“I’m sorry, but it took some kind of nerve for him to accuse you of-”
“What did you say?”
Dawn turned to assess Maggie from her head to her shoes.
“My Lord, you really didn’t know?” Dawn touched her shoulder. “Sweetheart, we thought you knew.
Everyone knows.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Some of Mac’s trucker buddies saw Jake at a bar with a woman a long time back, then again a couple months before he left you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your husband was stepping out on you, that’s what it means.”
“No, there’s got to be a mistake. Where did they see him?”
“No mistake. Those guys knew Jake. I think it was
Bakersfield first.”
“What?”
“Then it could’ve been a truck stop outside of Las Vegas. Or both in Bakersfield. No matter. They defi nitely saw your husband with another woman.” “Dawn, tell me exactly what you know?” “They said they saw Jake with a woman and they were together.”
“No, no. That can’t be. Jake had problems after Iraq, but nothing like that.”
“Honey, he’s a trucker. And some men live other lives on the road.”
Maggie felt the earth shifting under her feet, felt the room spin.
“No, this can’t be right. Who is this woman? What’s her name?”
“Lord if I know. Mac’s friends said she was darkhaired. Pretty. Does it matter? The point is, we all heard about what happened to you and now it’s going round that you’re talking to psychics. Good Lord.” “Dawn, please.”
“Now, Maggie, listen to me. I’m telling you, woman to woman, you have to let this crap with Jake go. It’s gone on way too long.”
“You don’t understand a single thing about me.” “Sugar, I understand way more than you think. See, before I met Mac, I went down the same road you’re on, only my asshole was named- Oh, forget it. Most men are born assholes. They should all have it for a first name.”
“Dawn, stop. Please.”
Maggie seized her purse to leave. Dawn held her arm gently.
“You’ve got to take charge, girl. Talk to a lawyer, go for custody of your boy, start proceedings.”
“Let go of me, I’ve heard enough.”
“I am trying to help you with the benefit of my ex perience.”
Maggie’s fingers clenched her purse. She invaded
Dawn’s space and dropped her voice. “Let go of me or I’ll break your fucking arm.”
Dawn’s jaw dropped as Maggie shook her off. Maggie stormed out of the restaurant then left three feet of burning rubber as she exited the parking lot. She drove home in a swimming fog, her ears pounding with rage and fear.
Another woman.
In her heart she couldn’t believe Jake would cheat on her. In spite of everything after Iraq she had never even considered the possibility.
Had he really taken Logan and left her for another woman?
It couldn’t be true.
Why didn’t anyone tell her? Why didn’t the private investigator know? Why didn’t police know? Why didn’t the support groups looking into her case know? Why didn’t SHE know?
Maggie’s self-recrimination intensified as she un locked her house. Her knees were buckling. She slammed the door shut, her back thudding against it, her dress bunching up behind her as she slid to the floor. Defeated.
Her fears encircled her, edged toward her, snarling, growling, another woman, a casket descending, a dying psychic’s visions of a woman carrying a dead child, and a video of the wrong boy.
A great banshee wail erupted from Maggie as she surrendered to the darkness, remaining as still as death on the floor with her back to the door.
Until night came for her.
She didn’t know how many hours had passed by the time she finally got to her feet. Something was in her hand. She gripped it hard as she floated from room to room, images swirling in a tear-streaked fog. In Logan’s room she ran her fingers along his small desk, the books lining his bookshelves, his scale models of racing cars, warships, the posters of his heroes, and
Jake smiling by his rig in Iraq. She opened his closet to T-shirts, khakis and jeans, touching a Dodgers jersey to her face, inhaling Logan’s scent.
I love you so much.
She went to the master bedroom and stood in it, feeling herself floating in the cool darkness before she went to their closet. She touched one of Jake’s flannel plaid shirts to her cheek. She could sense his cologne, feel him.
Hear him.
She reached to the top shelf. She knew it well, knew where everything was because she’d put most of it
