Hater

34

    I feel like I've been running for miles but I've slowed down now. I've reached the edge of town and there are fewer buildings and shadows to hide in. I don't want to be seen. I could have taken a car but there's nothing else on the roads now and I would have drawn too much attention to myself. I've lost track of time. It's early evening and the light has almost completely gone. I'm cold, soaked through by the heavy rain that's been falling for the last hour or so, but that's just a minor physical discomfort and I still feel surprisingly strong.

    I don't know how long I've been outside now but so far I've seen only a couple of other people. The air is still full of noise as the military try to expose us and flush us out into the open but the streets are empty. I know there's supposed to be a curfew at night but I'm sure that's not the only reason why there's no-one around. Being out in the open is too dangerous. Those few people I have seen - the occasional solitary figure that creeps carefully through the shadows like me - I have kept away from. I don't want to risk making contact with anyone. Will they be like me? Perhaps they will but I can't afford to take any chances. They could be like the rest of them. I'll kill again if I have to but I'm not looking for trouble. Finding Ellis is more important. Tonight it feels as if the 'normal' part of the population have been driven into hiding in fear of us.

    I think I'm probably about halfway between my flat and Liz's sister's house now. I had planned to walk all night but I think it will be sensible to stop and take cover soon. There are helicopters over the city again now and I feel exposed. Instinct tells me it'll soon be too much of a risk to be out alone in the darkness with the military swarming through the streets and the skies. If I thought it was safe to keep going I would. I'll take this opportunity to rest for a while and eat.

    I can't stop thinking about Ellis. My poor little girl is stuck in the middle of a group of people who will turn against her at any time and without any warning. She's in danger and there's nothing I can do to help her. It might already be too late but I can't allow myself to think like that. I've consciously tried to block them from my mind but I find myself thinking about Lizzie, Edward and Josh again. Remembering them fills me with an overpowering sadness and remorse. I wonder if they might eventually change too? Could whatever has changed within me be buried somewhere inside them also? I'd like to believe it could but I don't hold out much hope. The government information I read earlier (if any of it was correct) said that just a small percentage of the population were likely to be affected. I sensed a difference between Ellis and the others too. She and I are alike. We're different to them, I can feel it. I have to accept that the rest of my family are lost.

    I'm heading out of the city now. I look back over my shoulder and see that although there are still lights on in many buildings, there are also huge swathes of town which are bathed in darkness. The power must be down. It's inevitable, I suppose. This 'change' (whatever it is) might only be affecting a minority, but it's repercussions are being felt everywhere. It's tearing society apart as quickly as it destroyed my family.

    I turn a corner and walk straight into another body coming the other way, the first person I've come across for some time. I immediately tense myself, ready for the kill. I push the dark figure back and clench my fists ready to strike. I stare through the darkness into the other person's face and… and it's okay. There is no anger, no hate and no threat. The mutual unspoken feeling of relief is immense. This person is like me and we both know that neither of us has anything to fear from the other.

    'You okay?' I ask, keeping my voice low.

    The other person nods and walks on.

***

    I can hear engines in the distance. The military are still moving through the dark city behind me and they are closer now. There are more helicopters crawling through the sky too. I can see four of them hovering ominously, sweeping over the streets and occasionally illuminating the ground below them with impossibly bright spotlights. It's definitely time to get under cover.

    I cross over a low stone bridge which spans a silent railway track. Ahead of me is the dark silhouette of a huge factory or warehouse and, on the other side of the road, a building site. As I get closer I see that it's the beginnings of a new housing estate. There are a few houses almost completed just off the main road and they are surrounded by the shells of other partially constructed buildings. The half-built walls and wooden frames jutting up into the air make it hard to tell whether the houses are going up or coming down. It's a silent and desolate place and it seems a sensible place to stop and shelter for a while.

    The paving slabs and tarmac beneath my feet give way to gravel and dirt. I follow the muddy and uneven route deeper into the centre of the building site and find myself walking along a row of six homes of varying shapes, sizes and degrees of construction. The ground has been so badly churned by machinery here that it takes me a while to realise that I'm actually walking through the future back gardens of these buildings, not across the front. I wonder whether any of these houses will ever be finished now? The three furthest from me appear to be the most complete and I head towards them. Their windows and doors are covered with grey metal grilles. All except the middle one of the three. The grille which covered the space where its back door was intended to go has been prised off. It's lying on the ground in a puddle of mud, buckled and useless. I'm standing in front of the doorway now looking inside. Has someone been here? I realise that there could still be people inside but I need to stop. Should I go in? Is it safe? Sensing that no-where's safe anymore I climb the step and cautiously enter the building. If there is anyone in there and they're not like me I'll kill them.

    Footsteps in the darkness. Sudden movement.

    I try to move back but before I can react a figure is on top of me. My legs are kicked out from under me and I'm sent flying back across the hard concrete floor. I can't see anything. I try to kick and punch myself free and stand up but before I can move I'm knocked back down again. I can feel someone pressing down on my ankles and someone else has their hands on my shoulders, keeping me flat on the ground. There's a third person in here. I can see their shadow moving past the doorway.

    'Think he's safe?' someone asks. They switch on a torch and the unexpected brightness burns my eyes.

    'Turn it off,' I hear another one of them say in a loud, relieved whisper. 'He's all right.'

    As quickly as the hands grabbed hold of me they now let go. I shuffle back across the floor, putting as much distance as I can between me and whoever else is in here. The light in the half-finished house is limited and I'm struggling to see anything. Someone's moving just ahead of me. I know there are at least three people in here but are there any more? The torch is switched on again.

    'Take it easy, mate,' one of them says. 'We're not going to hurt you.'

    I don't know if I believe him. I don't know if I believe anyone anymore.

    The figure holding the torch shines the light into their own face. It's a man, perhaps mid-to-late twenties. I know instantly that he's like me and that I'm safe with him. And if this man is no threat then the people who are with him are no threat either.

    'What's your name?' he asks.

    'Danny,' I tell him, 'Danny McCoyne.'

    'Been like this for long, love?' asks a woman's voice.

    'What?' I mumble back.

    'Been long since it happened?' she asks, rephrasing her question. I assume she's talking about what happened at home when I killed Harry and lost my family.

    'Few hours,' I mumble, my throat dry. 'Not sure…'

    'I'm Patrick,' the man holding the torch says, holding out his hand. I'm not sure whether he wants me to shake it or whether he's going to pull me up. I reach out and he helps me to stand. 'Happened to me three days ago,' he continues. 'Same for Nancy here. That's Craig,' he says, pointing the torch at the third person across the room. 'Yesterday afternoon, wasn't it, Craig?'

    'Just after dinner,' Craig answers. Patrick shines the torch at him but it only illuminates a small part of a huge expanse of belly. Craig is immense.

    'So what happened?' Nancy asks. 'Anyone close?'

    'My partner's dad,' I explain, feeling some sadness but no remorse or guilt over what I've done. 'He just turned on me. Thought he was going to kill me so I…'