of the road. It's not much but it's all we've got at the moment and it will have to do for now. We're on the council waiting list to get a bigger place but it'll probably be years before they move us. Now that Lizzie is working again we might finally be able to start saving so that we can put a deposit on a house of our own and get out of this apartment block. We'd planned to move a couple of years ago but she fell pregnant with Josh and everything got put on hold again. I love my kids but we didn't plan any of them. We were just starting to get back on our feet after having Edward and Ellis but then Josh came along and we found it hard to put food on the table, never mind money in the bank. We claim all the benefits we're entitled to and Harry, Lizzie's dad, helps us out now and again, but it's a constant struggle. It shouldn't have to be like this. Still, we get more help from Liz's dad than we do from my family. Mum's in Spain with her new boyfriend, my brother's in Australia and no-one's heard anything from Dad for three years now. The only time we hear from any of them is on the children's birthdays and at Christmas.
There's a gang of kids under a broken street lamp in the alleyway which runs between two of the houses on my right. I see them there most nights, smoking and drinking and driving beat-up cars around the estate. I don't like them. They're trouble. I put my head down and walk a little faster. I worry about my children growing up round here. Calder Grove itself isn't that bad but some parts of this estate are rough and things are getting worse. The council is trying to run apartment blocks like ours down so they can flatten them and build new houses. There are six flats in our block - two on each floor - and only ours and one other is left occupied now. We try not to have anything to do with the people upstairs. I don't trust them. Gary and Chris, I think they're called. Two middle-aged men who live together on the top floor. They don't seem short of cash but neither of them ever seem to go out to work either. And there's a constant stream of visitors ringing their doorbell at all hours of the day and night. I'm sure they're selling something up there, but I don't think I want to know what it is.
I finally reach the communal front door and let myself into the apartment block. The door sticks and then opens with a loud, ear-piercing creak which can probably be heard from halfway down the street. I've been trying to get the council to come and sort it out for months but they don't want to know, even though I work for them. Inside the building the entrance hall is dark and cold and my footsteps echo all around me. The kids hate this lobby and I understand why. They get scared out here. I wouldn't want to spend too long out here on my own either. I unlock the flat, go inside and shut, lock and bolt the door behind me. Home. Thank God for that. I take off my coat and shoes and, for almost half a second, I relax.
'Where've you been?' Lizzie scowls. She appears from Edward and Josh's room and crosses the hallway diagonally to the kitchen. Her arms are piled high with dirty washing.
'Work,' I reply. The answer's so obvious I wonder whether it's a trick question. 'Why?'
'You should have been back ages ago.'
'Sorry, I got delayed. Got stuck with some woman having a go at me. I missed my train.'
'You could have called.'
'I've run out of credit on my mobile and I didn't have any cash on me to top it up. Sorry, Liz, I didn't think I'd be this late.'
No response. I can't even see her now. The fact she's gone quiet on me is ominous. Something's wrong and I know that whatever it is, any problems that I might have had today will now have to take second place. All my worries will pale into insignificance alongside whatever it is that's bothering her. This seems to happen almost every day and it's really beginning to piss me off. I know Lizzie works hard and the kids play her up, but she wants to think herself lucky. She wants to try dealing with some of the shit that I have to put up with each day. I take a deep breath and follow her into the kitchen.
'Your dinner's in the oven,' she grunts.
'Thanks,' I mumble as I open the oven door and recoil from the sudden blast of red-hot air which comes from it. I pick up a tea towel and use it to grip the edge of a dried-out and overcooked plate of pie, chips and peas. 'Are you okay?'
'Not really,' she replies, her voice barely audible. She's on her knees shoving washing into the machine.
'What's the matter?'
'Nothing.'
I crunch into a burnt chip and then quickly smother the rest of my food in sauce to take away some of the charcoal taste. Don't want to risk Lizzie thinking I don't like it. I hate playing these games. It's obvious something's wrong, so why won't she just tell me what it is? Why do we have to go through this stupid routine every time she has something on her mind? I decide to try again.
'I can tell something's wrong.'
'Very perceptive of you,' she mumbles. 'It doesn't matter.'
'Obviously it does.'
'Look,' she sighs, switching on the washing machine and standing up and stretching her back, 'if you really want to know what's wrong why don't you ask the kids? Maybe they'll tell you why I…'
Right on cue two of the children push their way into the kitchen, jostling with each other for position. Edward digs his elbow into his little sister's ribs. Ellis shoves him back out of the way and then slams against the table, spilling Liz's coffee.
'Dad, will you tell her?' Ed spits, pointing accusingly.
'Tell her what?' I ask, distracted by the pile of bills I've just found on the table.
'Tell her to stop following me around,' he yells. 'She's winding me up.'
'Why don't you both just leave each other alone? Go and play in your own rooms.'
'I want to watch telly,' Ed protests.
'I was watching it first,' Ellis complains.
'She'll be going to bed soon,' I sigh, trying to reason with Edward. 'Just let her watch it for a while then you can change the channel when she's gone to bed.'
'But my programme's on now,' he whines, not having any of it. 'It's not fair, you always take her side. Why do you always take her side?'
I've had enough.
'Let's just leave the television off then,' I tell them. Both of them start screaming at me but even their god-awful noise is drowned out by Lizzie who shrieks at the pair of them to get out of her sight at a deafening volume. Ed pushes his sister as he barges out of the room. Ellis slaps him on the back as he passes.
'Well handled,' Liz mumbles sarcastically.
'Little sods,' I mumble back.
'That's why I've had enough,' she snaps. 'I've had to put up with their rubbish constantly since we came out of school and I can't stand it anymore. Okay?'
She storms out of the room. I don't bother following, there's no point. There's nothing I can do or say to make things any easier so I take the easy option and do and say nothing.
FRIDAY
ii
'He was looking at me.'
'Get lost! He was looking at me. He's not interested in you!'
Josie Stone and her best friend Shona Robertson walked down Sparrow Hill and across the park together arm in arm, laughing as they discussed Darren Francis, a boy two years ahead of them at school who they'd just passed outside Shona's house.
'Anyway,' Josie teased, 'everyone knows that Kevin Braithwaite fancies you. You stick with Kevin and leave me and Darren alone.'
'Kevin Braithwaite?!' Shona protested. 'I wouldn't be seen dead with him. He's more your type.'
'Shut up!'
The two friends tripped and slid down the greasy grassy bank, still giggling and holding onto each other's arms as they struggled to keep their footing. Their speed increased as they stumbled further down the hill and onto level ground. Josie slipped as they ran across the middle of a muddy football pitch. Shona instinctively reached out
