Dale, Jimmy and Watters looked at each other.
Unable to find words, Dale gestured toward his desk and led the way. He grabbed an empty chair for Watters and sat down. “I’m exhausted.”
“I feel the same way,” Jimmy said.
“I’m sure it’ll hit me soon too, but right now I’m still feeling the rush of seeing you capture and arrest Sanders,” Watters added.
“Want a drink?”
“In a second,” Dale replied. He removed the chunk of Skoal from his mouth and dropped it into an empty coffee cup next to his computer. He rinsed using old water from a cup that had been on his desk for days.
Watters and Jimmy, still exhilarated by the arrest, joined a group of officers who were enjoying the victory. The precinct was filled with laughter, storytelling and cheering.
Dale opened up his desk drawer, pulled out the overstuffed file marked “Casino Case” and opened it up. He spread everything across his bare desk—photos, reports and even handwritten notes.
Piece by piece, he went over what he had. With a single exception, it was still all circumstantial.
For Linda Grant’s murder, they already had all the proof they needed.
Had they sacrificed Linda so that they could arrest Sanders? Dale knew that there was no real answer to that question and that the either/or aspects would haunt him the rest of his life, as he kept second-guessing the decision he had made. And he would never know if Linda had been an accomplice with Sanders in Grant’s murder, or just his lover who hadn’t known of Sanders’ plan to kill her husband. Not knowing if she was innocent or guilty would make the question that would always haunt him even more painful.
He’d seen the bandages on Sanders’ wrist. There was no doubt in Dale’s mind that when the test came back from the lab in a few days, the skin found underneath the nails of the call girl in Pitt’s office would match a DNA sample taken from Sanders.
The other three murders?
How did Sanders murder Grant and Pitt? Baxter saying that Sanders had hired him to kill Watters was hearsay. And they hadn’t had the time to try to get Baxter to confess to the cop killing.
Convicting one killer for only two of the five murders and being forced to release the other killer to the military made Dale’s brief sense of victory seem hollow. Despite the most massive manhunts in the city’s history, both led by Dale, this was what it had come down to.
Two out of five was an incredible batting average, but for a homicide detective who’d dedicated his professional life to protecting all of the city’s residents, it was a major defeat, or at least it felt like one.
But this was Nevada. One of thirty-four states that still practiced the death penalty—lethal injection determined by a jury. There was always the chance that Sanders, being as arrogant as he was, would think his fame and fortune could buy a verdict. He might decide to plead not guilty. Even murder by hire in the state of Nevada was punishable by death. But Dale doubted it would come to that. Not with the evidence they had.
Baxter, a hired gun, had suffered his own punishment. The ex-Marine had indeed avoided the legal system, but Watters had made sure that the family members of the deceased attained a certain amount of revenge for their loved ones.
Only indirect punishment.
Dale felt like a failure. He might get promoted for bringing Sanders down, but he hadn’t solved the crime, not really. He could only accept the praise if he personally felt he’d earned it. By his own standards, he had not.
He thought about the victims—slimy like Pitt and promising like Craig. He had failed them. What could he say to their family and friends? That’s he’d tried, failed and was sorry?
Was that worth neglecting his own family?
If he hung around any longer he’d bring everyone down—so Dale went home.
Chapter 43
Calvin had persuaded Rachel into moving into his tiny apartment for the time being. But even though the police had brought in a team that left it spotless, they’d always know that a cop had died there.
When he heard the front door chime at exactly 4:00 p.m., he smiled. He expected the punctuality.
He opened the door wide and spread his arms, wrapping his visitor in a massive, affectionate bear hug, though careful not to tear his stitches.
With his large right arm wrapped around the man’s shoulders, Calvin pulled his visitor into the small living room and got him seated. Dragging an armchair close to the man, Calvin sat down, leaned forward and said, “It’s really great to see you, Dale. It doesn’t matter why you’re here. I’m glad you are.”
“I feel selfish asking to speak to you alone when you’ve had so little time with Rachel.”
“She understands. You know how we both feel about you. She’s meeting friends at a coffee shop.”
The detective leaned back in his chair and began to relax. It looked like it had been a while. “Thank you. You really love her, don’t you?”
Calvin smiled, feeling flushed. “I do. Her strength and determination make me want to be a better man. You said you needed to talk about something urgent, but you didn’t say what it was. Is there a break in one of the other murder cases? New evidence? Something I can help with?”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you on the phone. It’s going to be hard enough to do it here in person. The answers to your questions are no, no and yes. What I want to talk to you about has nothing to do with the investigations. It’s only about me, personally and yes, I think you can help me.” Dale shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Before I get to that, Mike Armstrong called the station this morning and confirmed your alibi for the night Pitt and the prostitute were killed. That, along with Rachel’s admission you were with her when Grant was murdered, was persuasive enough that even the chief admitted you are no longer a suspect in those cases.”
Dale paused, as if strengthening his resolve. “I’ve never had a talk like this with anyone in my life, not Jimmy or my wife. You may not know me well enough to know I’m a very private person. I stay focused on the job and try to keep my emotions to myself.”
Calvin smiled. “I might know you better than you think. Once Grant’s body had been discovered and you were chosen to lead the homicide investigation, I researched and created a file on you and Jimmy. Your proficiency speaks for itself.”
Dale grimaced and shook his head. “I wasn’t the same way at home, that is, during the very little time I spent there. For too many years with my wife I was all business—ready to talk about work but not feelings and very little love. I knew I was ruining my marriage, but I didn’t want to deal with the problems. Every time Betty tried to talk to me about them, I’d avoid her and make a quick escape. I’ve made some big mistakes in the past—which I’m still paying for.”
Dale paused again and Calvin remained silent, giving the detective all the time he needed.
“Last night, when everyone was celebrating the arrest, I was as happy as everyone else that we could prosecute and convict Sanders for double homicide.”
“And then I thought about the three other murder victims whose files would go in the cold-case cabinet as unsolved and maybe unsolvable, about the families and friends of those victims and I got very depressed. Three unsolved murder cases for which I, as the lead investigator, have to take full responsibility. I was honest enough with myself to accept the pain of blame and failure.”
“On top of that—and nobody else knows this—Betty left me a week ago and took our young son with her to Utah to stay with her sister. All my mistakes as a husband and father, which I’d kept denying, caught up with me and it’s my own fault that I’m now alone. When I realized I’d sacrificed my family to be a cop and then failed at that too, I almost broke down.”
“Then I thought of you.”
Calvin was astonished. “Me? I…”
Dale cut him off. “You were an innocent man who’d been put through hell and almost lost his life because of one man’s all-consuming, insatiable desire for power. Look at everything you’ve been through. Four years ago, in less than a minute, you suffered a knee injury that ended your stellar college and certain pro career. You dropped from the top to the bottom. I checked your arrest record, so I know you were trapped at the bottom for a while. But
