didn’t like it. He was nasty. Threatening, belittling, abusive. He didn’t physically hurt me. He wouldn’t have dared.”
“Verbal abuse can flatten people.”
“Yes, it can. He was very manipulative. Moody and mercurial. I never knew if I would get the Bad Derek or the Good Derek. I didn’t put up with it for long, but I put up with it for too long. I was in a tough place and I wanted to believe in the Good Derek.” She was aware of Nick’s eyes on her, but she concentrated on the view of the mountains she loved. “I don’t like talking about this.”
“Understood.”
“Derek went from calling me at inappropriate times to being openly hostile after I told him I didn’t want a relationship with him. He never left a trail, and I wasn’t sure who’d believe me that he was as awful as he was.” She shifted her gaze to the evergreen shrubs, the trampled snow from last night. “Vivian Whittaker was psychologically abusive toward her husband. I’m not saying that’s why he did what he did.”
“You got away from Cutshaw. Lowell stayed with his wife.”
“Derek and I saw each other for less than six weeks. He thought he was doing me a favor by being interested in me at all. He was used to women falling all over him. He couldn’t believe I would walk away.” She turned back to Nick. “He made sure I knew he didn’t think I was anything special.”
Nick tucked a few windblown strands of hair off her face, out of her eyes. “You’re beautiful, Rose, and you’re sexy as hell.”
“Sure, Nick. I’m out here in one of my father’s old flannel shirts.”
He grinned at her. “With your blue eyes standing out against the snow and your cheeks pink with the wind and the cold.”
She groaned. “Sure, Nick.”
“Cutshaw was a fool if he treated you as anything but a strong, desirable woman.” Pain flashed in his eyes. “Me, too.”
“You’re nothing like he was.” She tugged open the storm door. “I told you about Derek because of what’s happened in the past forty-eight hours. The rest doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter.”
She felt her throat tighten. “You’re good-looking, rich, rugged. You can have any woman—”
“No, I can’t. No one can, and who’d want to? Come on. Give me a break. Some guys would say one woman’s plenty.”
“Some women would say no man is fine.”
“From what I remember, that wouldn’t be you.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Bastard.”
He slipped an arm around her middle and drew her close to him. “I’m sorry Derek Cutshaw was such a son of a bitch, but he’s in the past. He was in the past when you and I got together.”
“Got together, Nick?”
“Yeah.” He kissed her on the top of the head and tightened his hold on her. “Very together.”
“We had a one-night stand.” She didn’t wait for him to respond and pulled away from him as she entered the house. “We can grab something to eat at the cafe on our way out to the Whittaker place.”
He waited a half beat before responding. “All right. Sounds good.”
“Sorry if I was prickly.”
“That was nothing. You forget I’ve been friends with a Cameron for ten years. I figure you held back. I’m lucky.”
Rose laughed as she dug the tennis ball out of her pocket and set it in the closet along with a dozen others. “You wanted to make me laugh, didn’t you?”
“Always.” But Nick was serious now. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You got away from Cutshaw. That’s what counts.”
“I thought of myself as so strong…”
“A hit to your ego like that undermines your confidence. Only thing to do is to get back up and carry on.” His voice was quiet, his eyes on her. “Being strong doesn’t mean you never get hurt.”
“Or do something stupid.”
He smiled. “That, too.”
She took one of Ranger’s leashes from the closet. “Nick, what if Derek somehow knew about us and went into a jealous rage and arranged to kill himself so that I’d find his body?”
“From everything I’ve heard, he wasn’t even remotely suicidal.”
“I keep asking myself why was he out there. What did he want with me?” She started back to the door but stopped abruptly. “Why now, Nick? Why are you here now? Is there anything you haven’t told me?”
“The timing was right. That’s all. Nothing more.”
“Right for what?”
“To make sure you were okay, and to see if there was any indication Jasper was killed by Lowell’s network. Informally,” Nick added. “I’m not part of any investigation.”
Rose yanked open the front door again. “We can take my Jeep out to the river.”
Nick touched her upper arm, stopping her. “Rose,” he said, “I haven’t told anyone about us because I promised I wouldn’t. That doesn’t mean I regret making love to you. I don’t.”
She held on to the doorknob, letting cold air seep into her house. “Hannah suspects.”
“Hannah
“I told her she didn’t have to keep any secrets from Sean.”
“Yeah, I know. I had a text message from him waiting for me this morning.”
“What did it say?”
Rose pulled the door open wider. “I guess it does. I probably should be more embarrassed than I am. I’d hoped he didn’t have to find out.”
“Hell, so did I, but not for my sake. Sean and I have covered a lot of ground together.”
“I can assure him you didn’t take advantage of me.”
Nick shook his head. “He won’t ask. He was just telling me he knows. The rest is none of his business. He understands that.”
“Then Hannah told him about Derek, too.” Rose groaned. “I said she could, but I hate this. Derek was already at the Whittaker place when you arrived. Could he have known or guessed you were on your way and just got there first? Maybe he wasn’t there to see me at all.”
“I didn’t know until I woke up at four-thirty that I’d head out there. I was lucky A.J. gave me directions. Derek was dead by then.” Sunlight angled through the door, shining on his striking hair, his dark eyes. “We’re speculating.”
“Which can lead to trouble—just as it does in a search.” She motioned for Ranger to come to her and clipped the leash onto his collar. “I’m neutral about you, Nick.”
“Neutral? What’s that mean? You didn’t want to crawl under my hand-knitted afghan last night, or you didn’t even think about it?”
She’d thought about it. She’d wanted to. Had he thought about knocking on her bedroom door?
She said nothing and headed back outside with Ranger.
“So neutral means you’re resisting being attracted to me,” Nick said as he trotted down the steps behind her.
She glanced back at him. “Could I say the same about you?”
“I’m not neutral, and I’m not resisting.”
“Then you’re—”
“Restraining myself. You’re under duress. We already did that. It didn’t work out so well.”
“We were both under duress in June.” She stopped at the bottom of the steps, choking on her words, then forced herself to continue. “If one of Lowell’s killers created that hot spot and lured Jasper Vanderhorn into it —”
“Don’t jump ahead.”
