would not run away. We could not run away. We were owned.
I gasped, and drew back, from half under the wagon.
“Have you finished with the harness?” asked Desmond of Harfax. He had come about the wagon. I had not realized his presence until he spoke.
“Nearly!” I said.
I scrambled back, to return to the mat. I knelt, of course, as I was in the presence of a free person.
“Who gave you permission to stop work?” he asked.
“No one, Master,” I said.
“Why then did you stop work, before you were finished?” he asked.
I put my head down.
“You were listening,” he said.
“Yes, Master,” I said. “Forgive me, Master.”
“Curiosity is not becoming in a kajira,” he said.
I kept my head down.
“Should you not be tied to a wagon wheel and lashed?” he asked.
“It will be done with me as masters please,” I said.
“Do not speak of what you heard to Jane and Eve,” he said.
“No, Master,” I said.
“There must be no changes in their behavior which might arouse the suspicions of certain others in the party.”
“I understand,” I said.
“And you,” he said, “have heard nothing.”
“I understand,” I said.
“In particular,” he said, “you are not to avoid Trachinos.”
“Master?” I said.
“Trachinos,” he said, “finds you of slave interest. He may seize you, may press himself upon you, fondle you, and such. You are not to resist his advances.”
“A slave dare not resist the advances of a free man,” I said. “She is a slave.”
“Respond to him,” he said.
“Master?” I said.
“Have no fear,” he said. “You will not be able to help yourself.”
“I see,” I said. I feared it was true. I was a slave.
“You are a pretty slut,” he said.
“And might not others find me of slave interest, as well?” I said.
“Certainly,” he said. “Many men would find you of slave interest.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you are of slave interest,” he said.
I, kneeling, clutched my collar, with two hands, as though I would tear it from my throat.
“Rejoice,” he said, “not every woman is of slave interest.”
“I hate you!” I said.
“How long will it take you to finish the harness?” he said.
“I am nearly done,” I said. “Two or three Ehn.”
“Finish it,” he said, “and then deliver it to Master Astrinax.”
“Yes, Master,” I said.
“We will leave within the Ahn.”
“Yes, Master,” I said.
He then left.
I was so pleased that I was such as might be of slave interest. What woman does not wish to be of slave interest?
And I knew I was such, for I had been collared. It was for women such as I that men had constructed the elevated slave block, that we might be exhibited and sold.
I then bent again, to my work. I began to hum. It was only later I realized that it was a slave tune which I had heard, long ago, in the house of Tenalion.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Please,” I said, turning my head away, and I felt his mouth on the side of my neck, above the collar, and then at the side of my face, fierce, under my ear.
It was the heat of the day. We had stopped, for two Ahn.
It was the fourth day we had been following the caravan of Pausanias.
I was pinned against the wagon wheel. At least he had not tied me to it.
“No!” I begged. I felt his hand on my left thigh. “Please, do not, Master!”
I had seen both Jane and Eve fastened at a wheel, but, in each case, for discipline. Eve had been tied with her back to the wheel, her wrists bound widely apart to spokes, and her legs widely spread, fastened, too, to spokes. She, in the care of Lykos, had dared to speak without permission, when she had not received a standing permission to speak. She had perhaps been testing him, to see, as the saying is, how many links of chain were permitted to her, which is an unwise venture with a Gorean male. She had discovered, so to speak, as she should have known, that the chain was quite short. Afterwards she had been almost inseparable from him. Sometimes he had had to order her from his presence. “I want him to buy me,” she had later whispered to me, in the darkness, in the wagon, when Jane was asleep. “I think I am his slave.” Jane, who was in the care of Astrinax, had been tied facing the wheel, naked, wrists widely apart, ankles widely apart, fastened to spokes. She had been lashed. She had tied a narrow, folded strip of cloth about her head, to hold back her hair and keep sweat from her eyes. This could be interpreted as a talmit, which is a common sign of a first girl, the girl in charge of other female slaves, who usually reports directly to a master. First girls are common when there are many slaves in a group, or household. They keep the other girls in order, assign tasks, settle disputes, and such. Many masters, if several girls are involved, do not care to involve themselves in such matters. It is enough for him to issue instructions to the first girl, usually in the morning, as she kneels before him, and she, according to her lights and biases, her choices and favorites, sees to their implementation. In a house containing a hundred or more slaves, there may be more than one first girl, there being various groups of slaves, and these first girls, in turn, will report to the first girl of first girls, so to speak. She, in turn, of course, reports to the master, or the master’s representative. In such a household the lower first girls will wear a talmit of one color, and the high girl, or first girl of first girls, she who reports to the master or his representative, the kajira sana, will wear one of a different color. The colors depend on the customs of cities, the whims of particular masters, and such. In any event, Jane, who was not first girl, as we had no first girl, had seemingly, without permission, arrogated to herself a talmit, commonly understood as a badge of authority. I had no doubt this was done in all innocence, and I am sure Astrinax himself thought it to have been done in all innocence, as well, but, still, it had been done, and the prestige of the talmit was deemed to have been compromised. Certainly Jane, and Eve and myself, who, to our misery, were forced to be present at the lashing, had had well impressed upon us the significance of the talmit. One lives in terror of it. She who wears the talmit is as Mistress to the other slaves, who will address her as Mistress. Slaves often live in terror of the first girl, speak deferently to her, kneel to her, and such. As is often the case, as with free women, we hope that men, given our beauty and sex, will protect us. Jane, like Eve, it seemed to me, should have known better. It is easy enough to knot a cloth about one’s neck and use it to wipe away sweat, and men, for some reason, seem to find sweat-wet hair, loose about a kajira’s features, attractive. Are they not lovely, even when hot and working?
“Please, stop, Master,” I begged Trachinos.
I heard a tearing of cloth.
“Please do not strip me, Master,” I begged, “not here, beside the wagon.”
“Elsewhere then,” he said.
