Blaze of Glory

gonna get us killed if you don't stop.'

MacHenry sat up straight. He wiped the tears away from his eyes and met Buckley’s gaze in the rearview mirror. 'Get out.'

'MacHenry?'

'Untie Grandma Riggs, take the kids, and you and Sissy get out of the fucking truck.'

'MacHenry, I-'

'Dammit, Adamski! Don’t you ever listen? I said get out of the fucking truck. I probably don’t have long to live and don’t have time to fuck around. Look at that big motherfucker. Do you really want to have this conversation now?'

Reluctantly, Buckley began to untie Grandma Riggs as Sissy ushered the children out the back. MacHenry kept his eyes locked on Buckley in the mirror.

'And just so you know, Adamski. I’m mad as hell that you’re alive and my Gert isn’t.'

Buckley bit his lip, knowing that the man was speaking from a chasm of pain. If he wanted to be mad, then let him. Frankly, Buckley couldn't explain why he still lived.

'You need to make sure they make it,' MacHenry said.

Buckley nodded as he unwound the last rope. Sissy climbed into the back of the truck and helped the old woman down.

'I’m serious. They have to make it, don't you see? Otherwise, this trip was for nothing. Me and Old Gert could have fucked ourselves to oblivion instead of that forced march you put us on. We would have been happy to die in each other's arms. Love instead of fear surrounding us as we breathed our last breath.'

Several seconds ticked past. A Maggie slid from Buckley’s forehead, but he ignored it. Instead, he turned to gaze back into MacHenry's eyes, who nodded slowly in return. The man smiled once, but there was no love in the gesture, more the recognition of an enemy right before battle.

'But it was you who roused us, Adamski. It was you who made us care about the others. And I thank you and hate you for that.'

The man had something to say, some great weight to unload from his soul. He'd lost the love of his life. Buckley couldn't help but empathize. Slowly, he extended his hand through the back window if nothing more than to touch the man's shoulder in a friendly gesture.

'Get the fuck away! I’m not touching you!'

'What?' Buckley was stunned by the man's rage.

'Oh, I'm not afraid of dying, if that's what you think. It ain’t the dying I care about, it’s the selfishness. You would have hidden it from us if you could.'

Buckley dropped his hands to his sides and lowered his head. So that was it.

'You tried to hide the truth from us. You did to us what you wouldn't let any of us get away with. Lashawna, Bennie, Sally, all of them deserved a chance, but you never gave it to them. Instead, you played judge, jury and executioner. And when it came time to do the same to yourself, what did you do?'

I acted like a coward, Buckley thought to himself.

'You acted like a coward,' MacHenry said, as if he could read Buckley's mind. 'Remember what you said back at the BBQ joint? You said that maybe this was a phased invasion of some sort, that maybe the maggies weren't around anymore because they were unnecessary. How long did you think about that?' MacHenry held up his hand. 'Don't tell me. Because if you say that you'd thought of that back in the hotel, then I'm going to climb out of this truck and kill your cowardly ass. Had you given yourself the same fate as Lashawna and left us alone, then maybe my Gert would have lived.'

'I…' What could he say? MacHenry was right. Buckley hung his head and took it.

'Look at you. Just like your comic book hero, The Thing. You’re willing to take everything and anything. You are the foundation.' MacHenry shook his head violently. 'And somehow…some-fucking-how you managed to hold us together and condemn us at the same time.'

'MacHenry, I’m sorry.'

'Stuff it. I don’t care about your feelings. I’m not going to give you the benefit of forgiveness. So, get out of the fucking truck. I’m gonna do what you should have done in the first place. It’s called sacrifice and it's the ultimate demonstration of love.'

MacHenry turned the ignition and revved the engine.

Buckley climbed off the back of the truck and stood with the others. The truck lurched forward then stopped. MacHenry rolled down the driver's side window and stuck out his head. 'You know, this has always been about love, not survival, Buckley Adamski. I think it’s kind of funny you never understood that.'

Buckley stared back as MacHenry put the truck back in gear and shot forward. They all knew his goal. Shouting at the top of his lungs and honking the horn like a mad-man, MacHenry drove towards the Caddie.

Buckley turned to Little Rashad. 'Come on, Kid. Let’s make MacHenry’s Charge of the Light Brigade worthwhile.

They angled off to the right. It would take them longer to get to the ocean, but their path would keep them safely away from the immense creature.

CHAPTER 31

About halfway to the caddie, Travis MacHenry halted the truck in the middle of a field. He got out, holding his and Gert's backpacks. One-by-one he pulled out the remaining Carolina Cocktails, seven in all. Then without ceremony, he emptied the contents atop his head and tossed the empty containers into the open cab. Seeing this, the others couldn't help but stop and stare. As horrible as it might become, he'd been their friend and ally and deserved their attention.

Buckley stood with his hands in his pockets, head down, remembering back in that hotel room when Travis had first talked about his desire to flame on.

'I, Travis James MacHenry, am gonna go out with a bang. In fact, as soon as I finish the better part of this cigar and this rather lazy cognac, I'm gonna get dressed, comb my hair, walk in the kitchen, pour fucking turpentine over my head, open the door and use the last of my Robusto to Flame On.”

So many thoughts were going through Buckley's mind. He'd only wanted to help everyone, but was unable to shake the truth of his own cowardice. In the end, it seemed as if Travis had been the bravest of them all.

'You want to know who I am? I’ll tell you who I am, Adamski. I’m Johnny Storm. No longer am I a washed up old has-been whose best days were when Toyota's motto was Oh What a Feeling. No longer will I wait to die like the rest of you chumps. I'm Johnny Fucking Storm who’s gonna go out in a blaze of glory.'

Sissy held Grandma Riggs by a hand and her shoulder, the old woman managing to support most of her own weight.

'He was a good man, Mr. Adamski.'

Buckley glanced into her eyes and saw how clear they’d become.

'Don’t blame him for not going gently,' she added.

'I wasn’t going to, I…'

'It’s okay, boy. Be happy for him. He was allowed to find love before he died.'

Buckley's heart broke a bit as an impossible gulf opened in his chest revealing that which he most feared. 'What about me? What about me, Grandma Riggs? Where’s my love? Why can’t I go gently?'

The brightness left her blue eyes as they once again glazed over with the whiteness of the disease.

'Don’t I get any love?' Buckley asked.

Grandma Riggs's only reply was on odd grin. Then she cackled crazily and pointed to Little Rashad.

Little Boy Blue,

come blow your horn.

The sheep's in the meadow,

the cow's in the corn.

Little Rashad solemnly raised his horn and began to blow the opening notes of Rocky.