unreal, yet so utterly frightening. I can’t find the words to describe it.’
‘ I know.’
‘ You’ve been through it before.’
‘ Doesn’t get any easier. I was frightened too. There’s nothing wrong admitting it. If you bottle it up, it’ll do your head in.’
‘ Henry.’
‘ Yes?’
‘ Will you hold me? I need some… comfort. I feel all dithery.’
He nodded.
She fell into him, crushing herself against his chest. Very painful for him, actually. He steeled himself and took it like a man, without complaint. Her breasts pushed up against him and her warm body clung desperately to him, wanting to find some reassurance from him that she was safe now. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, his arms wrapping around her shoulders and gently squeezing.
He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. Probably only seconds. Then he became aware that she was looking up at him. She drew back slightly and said, ‘That was nice, Henry. I needed that.’
‘ So did I.’
‘ And I still want to kiss you.’
There was a pause between them when time stood still. And from that moment on, things became very mixed-up and confused for Henry.
He lowered his head, she went up onto her toes, and their lips came into soft contact. An electric shock pulsated through him. Initially they tentatively explored each other’s lips. Then their mouths forced themselves hard onto each other. Hard and passionate. A whimper of pleasure escaped from somewhere deep inside Siobhan’s throat. Her tongue slithered into his mouth. He took it. Bit it. Bit her lips. Sinking his teeth firmly into the soft wet flesh, driving her into a frenzy.
Her fingers gripped his hair. He grew hard quickly. She felt it and responded by spreading her legs around his thighs and grinding herself urgently against him. Her breath came in short pants. Through the denim of her jeans Henry could feel the pulsating heat of her sex.
She threw her head back and Henry’s mouth moved down to her beautiful throat, where he could see her jugular throbbing wildly.
She forced his jacket off his shoulders. He drew his arms out of the sleeves. The garment dropped to the floor with a sigh of air. Her fingers went to his shirt, fumbling impatiently with the buttons, eventually ripping the last one off. She tugged the shirt out of his jeans and her face went to his injured chest. She softly licked the deep purple bruising over his breastbone and she unbuckled his belt.
The pain ebbed away from Henry’s damaged body, replaced by a wave of energy.
‘ Oh God, Henry, we need to do it,’ she said.
No. Say no, Henry, you complete fucking imbecile. Think of Kate. The girls. Think about what happened last time.
‘ Yes,’ he said hoarsely.
He eased her out of her zip-up jacket and pulled her tracksuit top over her head. She released her grip on his fly and lifted up her arms obligingly to facilitate the movement. He tossed the top to one side and his arms quickly carried out a pincer movement to her back, his fingers meeting in the middle at her bra strap. It was a smooth manoeuvre and the clasp was breached in a second and the bra dropped to the floor.
He could feel her easing his jeans off, which ended up around his ankles, then she pulled down the front of his Y-fronts.
Another of those deep throaty groans broke from her lips when she grabbed his hard, swaying cock and slid back the foreskin.
‘ Aaah,’ he heard himself say. His hands went to her breasts, her nipples erect against the palms. He looked down at them. They were sweet, deep pink, long and excited.
‘ Come over here,’ she urged him.
They shifted to the settee like practising dance partners, allowing Henry the chance to step out of his jeans and trainers. He sat down quickly, removing his underpants and socks as he did so. Siobhan stood over him, bending forwards, those beautiful breasts hanging near his face. In a second she was out of her jeans and knickers. Both of them were completely naked.
He had only a few seconds to appreciate her body before she pushed him back onto the settee. He lay there without a fight. She went on him immediately, devouring him in her mouth and he surprised himself by not ejaculating there and then. She worked on him with wonderful lips and a wet, wet tongue, constantly looking up at him, judging his pleasure, until he could stand it no longer — at which juncture he took hold of her and drew her up.
He sat up. She sat next to him. He dropped to his knees and twisted round between her legs.
God, she smelled intoxicating.
For a moment they stared into each other’s eyes. Her mouth was open and wet and hot as he clamped his over it and kissed her fiercely. His fingers slid from her breasts and down between her legs, searching for and finding her. She was soaking.
‘ I get very wet,’ she said.
‘ Apparently.’
She lay back, opening herself to him. His head went down, his mouth working over her, tongue probing deftly, darting in, out, around. She squirmed and moaned, rotating her hips as everything built inside her. ‘Beautiful,’ she murmured appreciatively. ‘Henry, come on, do it, fuck me. Come on; let’s fuck now.’
What? Maybe he was an old-fashioned fuddy-duddy, but somehow the word seemed so… inappropriate. OK, it is what they were about to do. But fuck? This wasn’t going to be a fuck, was it? Kate would never use such terminology… yeah, Kate.
He shrugged off the brief unease and helped Siobhan to lie full-length on the settee. He clambered over her, holding himself aloft, his elbow joints locked. She drew up her knees and Henry, keeping his balance with one shaky hand, reached down and aimed his prick towards her, knowing that within a matter of seconds he would be in deep.
In deep… all of a sudden he caught an image of himself in his mind.
He saw his jeans and underpants, socks and trainers, out of the corner of his eye.
Then he visualised Kate and remembered the look on her face the last time. The hurt, the pain. The despair, the tears. The anger. Kate, the only woman he had truly loved. Who he never wanted to hurt and who he had betrayed in the worst way imaginable. He had done it once, and every day since it had been with him. The guilt. Always ready to pop up at the most inappropriate moments and niggle away at him like a cancer.
Yet here he was again. Once more with a younger woman. His penis touching the fat wet lips of her vagina, ready to plunge in, and fuck the consequences.
But this time there would be no consequences.
In that moment, when it could have gone either way, he made the decision, with a little whimper.
‘ I’m sorry,’ he said, kneeling up, his penis curved up out of his bush, touching his belly, swaying between them like an innocent bystander. He reversed off the settee like a crab, leaving Siobhan lying there stunned and unsatisfied, still wanting. ‘I can’t. It’s lovely. It’s been really lovely. And I really would like to do it.’ He gulped for air. ‘But I can’t. I’m sorry. Just won’t work.’ He scooped his clothes together and danced an impressive jig as he got into his Y’s. The bulge of his penis remained highly prominent.
Siobhan lay there for a few seconds in total, gobsmacked disbelief. This was replaced by a look of scorn and hatred which turned Henry’s soul cold. ‘You can’t do this, Henry. Starting something and then leaving me in mid- fucking air.’ It was as if another character had taken over her, someone slightly deranged. Or maybe just completely pissed off, Henry couldn’t be sure. ‘So, come on, fuck me. I want it. I want you. You can’t leave me in the air like this.’
‘ Look, I’m really sorry, but I can’t go through with it.’ He was struggling to get into his shirt and fasten it, finding one of the buttons missing and a tear in the fabric where it had once been. ‘It was a silly thing to contemplate. We’re colleagues, I’m a supervisor and I’m married. It’d all go horribly wrong.’
She rolled off the settee and stood proudly before him, seething anger hissing from every pore. Henry wasn’t
