that to my bones. My love and support for him just masked the reality of what I was about to do'
Emily drew her in with a knowing smile, a look of acceptance. 'Sometimes we do things that when we look back, we can't imagine that it was us at all.' It was the kind of comment that made her such a good interviewer. Reveal a little something of yourself-or at least let the subject think you are. It builds trust and trust leads to further disclosure. In this case, Emily's thoughts were on Reynard Tuttle and Kristi Cooper.
'It was me,' Tina said. 'And I've thought about it every day. For years I tried to set it aside. When the Angel's Nest scandal broke I was just sure that it would come out. I started going to church. I prayed every night. I got on meds. Each moment closer to trial I just knew my life was going to implode. But it didn't. I was home free. Until you.'
'Backup,' Christopher said, apparently comfortable enough to interject. 'I'd like to be sensitive about this, but I can't think of a better way to say it. Just how did you manage to get pregnant?'
Tina Esposito stood and walked to the dining window. It was a slow, purposeful walk. The sunlight on her face showed every flaw. She had been beautiful once, but right now she looked old, tired, and scared. She spoke to the window, refusing to face Christopher or Emily.
'This is very embarrassing,' she said, her voice a whisper. 'During our visits, he'd pass me a sample.'
She hesitated.
'A sample?' Emily asked.
'Oh God, you're going to make me draw you a picture, aren't you? Of his semen, you know. I'd excuse myself and use the bathroom' She searched for the most genteel words to describe what she'd done. Her embarrassment was etched on her pretty face. 'I put it inside of me'
'Jesus,' Collier said, his tact evaporating with the outrageousness of her disclosure.
She started crying, and turned to face detectives. 'Don't judge me'
'No one is being critical of you,' Emily said. 'We just need to know what happened'
Christopher pushed it. 'How did you get a sample?' He tried to make his affect as flat, as nonjudgmental, as possible. 'The semen sample.'
'This is the embarrassing part,' she said, hesitating while she tried to come up with a way of relating the information as clinically as possible. But there was no way to do that. 'He ejaculated into empty ketchup packets'
Neither investigator needed Tina to draw 'the picture.' They could see it very clearly now. Walker ejaculated into the packets, smuggled them to Tina, and she found her way into a bathroom stall and inserted the tomato- flavored semen into her vagina.
'It isn't as if I did this dozens of times,' she said, seeing how unseemly as it all must have appeared. 'I got pregnant on my third or fourth attempt. Are we done here? Do you have enough of what you need to know?'
'Not really,' Christopher said. 'What were the plans for the baby? And how did Bonnie get involved?'
'By the time I was pregnant and past the point of an abortion, I knew that I'd made the worst possible mistake of my life. When I came to visit Dylan one time to talk about his appeal and our fantasy future together, I had met another woman at the motel. Her car broke down and she had to stay another day, otherwise we never would have met. We started talking about our men on the inside. About a fifteen minutes into it, we both realized our men were the same man. She'd been seeing Dylan, too. He'd told her that she was his soul mate. I wised up fast' Relief washed over her face. She'd told her story and it seemed to calm her for a moment.
'And Bonnie?' Emily asked. 'What about her?'
'Look, Bonnie was my friend. She was visiting with Dylan, too. Nothing going on there. I mean, she was never his type'
Emily caught Christopher's eye. The black album of clippings and letters surely indicated otherwise.
'Anyway, she knew I was pregnant and she promised to help me by putting the baby up for adoption. That's what I did. I couldn't continue the friendship with Bonnie after that. Every time I saw her, I was reminded of what I'd done' She looked at her watch. Her husband would be home soon. 'Are we finished?'
'No. Why the calls to Bonnie? And where were you yesterday?'
'Don't even go there. I was at the gallery all day. And the calls to Bonnie, that's the real reason why you're here, right?'
'That's right,' Emily said. 'Why were you talking to her?'
Before she answered, Christopher cut in. 'We'll have to verify your whereabouts, you know.'
Tina nodded in his direction. 'Verify, if you must. I have no reason to lie. At least not anymore. Seeing how you know everything.'
'Not everything. Why the calls? Why did you reconnect?'
'Because of this,' she answered. She went to her Prada purse and retrieved a slip of paper. She handed it to Emily. It was a white card, better paper than a standard index card, but about that size, with just five words printed in a now-familiar handwriting.
I miss you. Love, Dash
Christopher looked over Emily's shoulder, then over to Tina. 'Dash?'
Emily answered for Tina, who by then had slumped back into a chair.
'Dylan Walker. He was called Dashing Dylan by some of the media during the trial. It became his nickname for a time.'
Tina nodded in solemn agreement. 'That's right. Bonnie and I shortened it to Dash. He liked it. God, we were so screwed up ''
'You think this is from him?'
Again, another nod.
'Where's the envelope?'
'There wasn't one. It was slid under the door. He got into the building.'
'Did you tell anyone? Your husband? The police?'
Tina didn't have to answer. The look on her face was transparent. She hadn't told a soul.
'I called Bonnie about it,' she said. 'She told me she'd heard from him, too. She was positively giddy. It was as if she'd been waiting for him all these years, and he'd come home to her. She was the keeper of the flame. He was in love with her. She was the chosen one. She was dieting to get into a wedding dress she'd picked out. The woman had lost it. Talking to her made me sick, but she was the only one who I could talk to. Rod doesn't know any of this and I need to keep it that way. I didn't know what Dash wanted with me, anyway.'
'Or if this really was written or delivered by him at all,' Emily said, setting the card down on the table. 'Did Bonnie have any kids?'
Tina shook her head rapidly. Clearly the concept was beyond absurd. 'Absolutely not. Never. She was too busy brokering out those babies for Angel's Nest. She had two things in her life. Dylan and that job'
'No family?' Emily asked.
'None that I ever met or heard about'
Christopher leaned closer. 'We have reason to believe that Nick Martin, the boy who survived the family homicide back in Cherrystone, could be your son'
'Oh, no,' she said. 'That's absolutely not possible.'
Emily had seen the look of denial countless times. So much of what people believe is what they want to believe, not necessarily what is true. Denial is the defense mechanism of first resort. Anger usually follows such confrontations, and Emily prepared herself for it.
'I know all of this is hard on you,' she said.
Tina shook her head. 'No. It can't be' Her tone was confused, but relatively calm. 'You don't understand. Nick Martin couldn't be mine. I had a baby girl.'
Chapter Thirty-two
Monday, 12:10 n. M., Seattle
Chris Collier played tug-of-war with the hotel valet as he insisted he didn't want to give up his keys.
'I'm dropping her off. She's a hotel guest'
'Key card, please?' the pimply-faced kid asked.
