The Storm

Why, what then?

KATERINA (after a pause).

I shall die soon.

VARVARA.

What nonsense!

KATERINA. No, I know I shall die. Oh, dear girl, something not good is happening with me, something strange. It has never been like this with me before. There is something in me so incomprehensible. As though I were beginning to live again, or … I don't know what.

VARVARA.

What is the matter with you?

KATERINA (taking her hand). I'll tell you, Varia; some dreadful sin is coming upon me! I have such a terror in my heart, such terror! As though I am standing on the edge of a precipice and someone is pushing me in, and I have nothing to cling to.

[Clutches her head in her hand.]

VARVARA.

What's wrong with you? You can't be well.

KATERINA. Yes, I am well…. It would be better if I were ill, it's worse as it is. A dream keeps creeping into my mind, and I cannot get away from it. I try to think—I can't collect my thoughts, I try to pray—but I can't get free by prayer. My lips murmur the words but my heart is far away; as though the evil one were whispering in my ear, and always of such wicked things. And such thoughts rise up within me, that I'm ashamed of myself. What is wrong with me? There's some trouble, something before me! At night I do not sleep, Varia, a sort of murmur haunts me; someone seems speaking so tenderly to me, as it were cooing to me like a dove. And now I never dream, Varia, those old dreams, of trees and mountains in Paradise; but it's as though someone were clasping me passionately— so passionately and leading me, and I follow him, I follow.

VARVARA.

Well?

KATERINA.

But what things I am saying to you, a young girl like you.

VARVARA (looking about her).

You can tell me! I'm worse than you.

KATERINA.

Oh what am I to tell you? I'm ashamed.

VARVARA.

You've no need! Tell away.

KATERINA. I am stifling, stifling at home, I should like to run away. And the fancy comes to me that if I were my own mistress, I would float down the Volga now, in a boat, to the singing of songs, or I would drive right away clasped close….

VARVARA.

But not with your husband.

KATERINA.

How do you know that?

VARVARA.

As if I didn't know!

KATERINA. Ah, Varia, there is sin in my heart! Alas, how often I have wept, I have done everything I can think of! I can't get free from this sin. I can't escape. Varia, it is wicked, it is a fearful sin—I love someone else!

VARVARA.

I'm not likely to be hard upon you! I've sins enough of my own.

KATERINA. What am I to do? I'm at the end of my strength, where can I find help. I'm so wretched, I shall do something dreadful.

VARVARA. Mercy on us! what is coming to you! Come, wait a bit, brother's going away to-morrow, we'll think of something; maybe, you'll be able to see each other.

KATERINA.

No, no, that must not be! What are you saying! God forbid!

VARVARA.

Why are you frightened?

KATERINA. If I were once to see and speak with him, I should run away from home, I would not go back home for anything in the world.

VARVARA.

Oh well, wait a little, and then we shall see.

KATERINA.

No, no, don't talk to me, I don't want to hear!

VARVARA. Why wear yourself out for nothing? You may die of grieving, do you suppose they'll be sorry for