211
I don’t know why, but I cut my hair then with a bang. I really looked like a gangster. Not the third-degree gangster, but the lowest gangster. I wore a brown flannel shirt and black skirt. There was no uniform; you wear what you want.
Just before we sailed some kind of political commissar came on the boat and made a long speech how you are supposed to behave highly. All the crew, new and old, was given this lecture on behavior. We must remember we represent the new Soviet Republic abroad. This, you see, was in 1926. We must not involve in any political situation, but if we are involved, we must remember we are Soviet citizens and even if we are not members of the Party we must stick to the Party line. And he gave us to understand we had members of the family left behind.
But I didn’t mind the lecture. I was afraid of only one thing—that they take me off the boat. Up to the last minute I was afraid they take me off. Only to travel! Only to live! I sent a telegram to Mother, “I’m going abroad. Thinking of you.”
The machinery start! I thought, that’s it. Then the whistle blew which means all the crew must step ashore and be lined up. There came four NKVD man with four German wolfdogs, and everybody shout out his name. Then the NKVD man say that if anybody is hidden in the boat these dogs will tear him to pieces. The man standing next to me turned a green color and I got terribly frightened. It was something so undignifying hunting down the man with the dog. All this time, you must remember, I was an idealistic Soviet.
Well, they went on the boat and started with the top deck and suddenly you heard this barking and screaming and saw the NKVD bringing a man all bloody and his flesh torn away. My God, I don’t like to think about it! Then we find out that two sailors were trying to smuggle out this priest. The boat was running on coal and in this place where the coal is they dig a hole and put a pipe so the priest can breathe, but the dogs find him and almost tear him to pieces. A very illustrating story of life in Russia. I was actually sick.
They took the priest and the two sailors away and we went back on the boat. When we came to our cabins it was just as if a cyclone came. Everything was on floor. The NKVD search everything.
Finally we sailed, but here I must explain that when you sail from Leningrad you go through the Neva River and a narrow strait until you come to this island and then on to the ocean. Up to this island is Russian water but when you go behind this island you are out of Russian water and the NKVD boat can’t go. The crew was praying to get on the outside of this island and I was praying too. Why I felt so guilty and afraid I don’t know. I had nothing behind me but the best work, but I was affected by this fear.
Then just when we were on the Russian side of this island the machinery went -bump, -bump,-bump. We understood the captain had got word to stop
212
the boat. The NKVD, we knew, must have been questioning the two sailors and they had told something. And so it was. They had told about one more man and the NKVD came and got him and took him off the boat.
I was a sailor third class and I did everything—washing the floors, polishing the brass and doing everything that they call in Russia unqualified work. I organized a literary circle and was so happy for it was such a success. Man attend it 100 per cent.
We got our money in English—nine pounds a month—about $45. If a sailor has a family at home they took something for family, and pay them in rubles. Also we got a ration: sardines, cocoa, herring and all like these things. None of us eat it. We always save it and when we come to a Russian port there will be a lot of people there waiting, for they know every Russian sailor gets this ration. We weren’t permitted to sell it, but it was the most profitable thing there is.
We came to Hamburg. The first officer called me to his office. “I hope you do understand,” he said, “that I’m not capitalistic inclined, but we are coming to a capitalistic country and Russian citizens must look a little more presentable in capitalistic country where they notice everything.”
He was right to speak to me. I was poorly dressed. The boat furnished working clothes—overalls and wooden shoes that went
We were the first Soviet boat that came to Germany after the war. The Russian consulate gave a dinner for the crew and for the first course we had in little glass dishes a mixture made from cherries and other fruits and we just giggled and giggled; we thought we were so capitalistic. And they gave us presents. I got a thermos, the first one I ever saw, to keep drinks hot and cold. My God, why I need it?
While we were in Hamburg the machinery of the boat broke down and we had to stay there for six weeks. Two sailors and I rented a bicycle and we went to many places in Germany. Then we came back to Hamburg and we bought together one bottle of champagne for $2.00 and saw night club entertaining. Girls were making stomach dances. They had on chiffon pants and small brassieres that just covered these little things. And their stomachs start to make this ocean movement. Believe me I never went through such an experience as these stomach dances. I saw it in its full swing—my first capitalistic entertainment. The sailor I was with got so excited with this movement, he cried, “God, isn’t that something?” but in Russian even more stronger, and slapped this strange woman, almost naked, who was next to him, on the back. And immediately the man with naked woman hit him between the eyes. The
213
sailor doubled his fist and hit him back. Then I was fighting. Then everybody threw chairs just like in movies. My God! How we were fighting! It was beautiful. People were so electrified from this stomach dance they had to discharge the excitement.
But in the middle of the fight the police came and here we were in the police station. Then somebody notified the captain and here we were back on the boat under arrest. Every day we were lectured and lectured on how to behave in capitalistic country.
Then we went to Holland, Gibraltar and Constantinople. A man in a restaurant in Constantinople told me he’d like to give me a present. Of course, I love presents and he gave me an amber stone on a chain. It was the first piece of jewelry I ever had in my life and I thought it very beautiful.
Then we went on to Odessa and from Odessa we went to many other places. Altogether my sailoring days lasted nearly a year. When they were finished, I had no money whatsoever. I had spent all of it in the countries where we stopped to see how the people lived.
I wanted to bring something for the mother, but I had nothing except some antique flowers I bought in Gibraltar. Nothing else. My sweater was in shreds and my shoes torn to pieces, but I did have enough sardines from my ration to buy a ticket to Kursk.
