understood that he had a gift for the game, and high school ball when he set all the county records; then Gwen and college ball and later the months she put him through the academy and the skinny first years when he worked the jail at odd hours and she built her schedule around his and they lived only to love each other. Then later the friends on the department and the regular shifts and the feeling that he was getting good at his job; even the dizzying spiral into wealth, all the worry and scrounging of money to invest, not knowing if it was going to pay off or no house and the new cars and he and Gwen still in love and it seemed like life couldn't get better. These were true memories, not the neutered snapshots that the Russians had left him with. But the emotions accompanying even these were harder and harder to recall. He remembered now, slowly and with a grim resolve, how it felt the first time he saw Gwen Kuerner in the multiplex out in Riverside.
Suddenly the tears were rushing out of him as a great spasm of loss cracked through him like a whip. It felt like his soul was caving in upon itself. He could hear his scream, feeble in the wind, but inside him it was deafening as the roar he'd heard standing by the tracks near Willits, when he was a boy with Kevin and they'd seen how close they could get to the train as it howled clattering past, inhaling their thin boys' bodies toward the fatal rails.
'We shouldn't have messed with the snake stuff,' he sobbed.
'It was a terrible mistake, Arch. But I was trying to make things go our way. Really go our way.'
The tears kept pouring down his face and he stared through them at the sky and wondered why his life had come down to empty air.
'It's okay, Archie,' she whispered. 'Come on, now. Come get me.'
He turned and saw Rayborn climbing up the crest of the peak toward him. Zamorra was behind her ten yards, carrying a shotgun.
Merci slipped on the loose rocks, steadied herself by grabbing the branch of a low manzanita. She was breathing hard with the elevation and the heat and the uncertainty of what Deputy Wildcraft was doing up here.
She could see him out at the edge, looking back at her. Two large blue curves dangled where his arms should have been, like wings. She recognized the shape instantly: the swordlike piece of tarp from the hotel trash can was a model version of what Archie now wore at his sides. The cemented joints she had found were prototypes of what must be holding those things together.
And she thought: Oh shit, he thinks they're wings.
Experience failed her but she knew it was important to get him talking.
'Archie! Arch! Thanks for calling.'
She stumbled again, grabbed another branch, then pulled herself to a stop on a small level spot fifty feet away. She heard Zamorra twenty steps behind her and she calculated that he was within effective shotgun range. That she would take the time to figure this irked her but she couldn't help herself: it was in her training and in her spirit.
He looked down at her, wings tucked, wobbling in the capricious mountain breeze.
'Thanks for coming,' he said.
'What exactly are you up to?'
'Going to get Gwen.'
'She's up here?'
'Yes.'
'You make those yourself?'
'I got the idea in the hospital.'
She glanced back at Zamorra, who stood spread-legged, uphill and the other braced down, holding the shotgun across his chest like a bird hunter. He'd moved to her left to get a clean line at Wildcraft.
She turned back to the deputy. 'Hey, Arch, we know that the Russians did it. You did what you had to do. You put out Sonny's eyes and shot up Vorapin, didn't you?'
'Yes. Sonny told me everything. It's on a tape recorder in my bathroom. But I'd remembered the giant's face by then-the was behind the light that night. When I saw him, I knew he was the one.'
'Archie, there's a whole department waiting for you to get healed up and back on duty.'
'I can't. You know that.'
'Then take the disability. You can get yourself a little airplane, get rid of those funky wings.'
'I like them.'
'They won't take you far.'
Wildcraft looked out over the cliff then, and Merci saw the sway his body.
'I don't have that far to go,' he said.
'I'll tell you one thing-if Gwen was alive she'd kick your butt for even thinking about this.'
'Not true. We've talked it over.'
'And what does she say you'll get out of it?'
'Just that she's up there.'
'Up where?'
He looked out again. 'There.'
'What about your mom and dad, Arch? And the Kuerners. And Priscilla. And Damon Reese and Brad Eccles. Those people love you. You can't just jump off the end of the world when they're counting on you.'
Wildcraft seemed to consider this. He looked into the abyss, then back at her. 'I love them and they're going to have to understand.'
'Understand what?'
'That I can't just let them fade away. Gwen. Everybody.'
'Of course you can't. But it's going to take time. You're going to heal, Archie. You're going to feel like you used to, someday. Gwen would want that. You say you talk to her? Then ask her if she wants you to jump, or not. Ask her what you should do.'
Merci had the horrible inkling that she'd just said the absolute wrong thing, that Wildcraft would ask Gwen what to do and his imagination, or his memory of her, or the bullet inside him or whatever it was that was guiding him would say, yes, Arch, jump.
Her heart sank when Archie looked up over his shoulder, away from her, and said something to the air. He nodded. He nodded again.
'Archie! Damnit, you've got a bullet in your brain and you're not thinking straight. Gwen's dead, Arch. She isn't coming back and she isn't in the sky and she doesn't want you to jump off and die. Trust me on this, Archie. I'm telling you the truth.'
'I'm coming,' he said, but Merci couldn't tell if he was talking to her or not. He was still turned, looking up and behind him. 'But I need to do one thing first.'
'What?' Merci asked.
Archie answered, but the wind snapped the words from the air before they could get to her. It looked like he was having a conversation with himself.
'I'm coming,' he said to Gwen. 'But I need to do one thing first.'
'What?'
'Just to see. Just to see what happens if I do it.'
Gwen didn't answer.
He turned, spread his blue wings and glided down to Merci.! couldn't believe the damn things actually worked. He landed softly, duty boots sliding to a stop on the sandstone gravel. The wings folded down and back. She saw that his bandage was soaked in pink and pupils were grossly dilated. His head and neck were shiny with sweat, but his uniform was pressed.
He came toward her. She glanced back at Zamorra, who had gun raised in the relaxed manner of a man who doesn't miss.
Archie stepped up close, then spread the wings around her. The breeze hissed against the polypropylene and she could smell fear and aftershave. She brought the nine up and out of the leather.
He held her close now, moving her-she was sure of this-into Zamorra's sightline. Though with Wildcraft so close to her, there a no way that Zamorra could fire. She held the barrel of her automatic against one of his ribs. She heard Zamorra crashing through the brush behind her. Slowly, she raised her left hand above the outstretched wing and turned the palm back toward her partner.
