can’t…”
“I know, Jesse. I know.”
Jesse was silent, struggling not to fall.
“I can’t have that,
Jenn. At least not yet.“
“I know.”
“I want it more than I can tell you, but I can’t let that happen to me again. First I have to do this.
Then we can see about us.”
“It’s awful to be alone,
Jesse.”
“If you‘-can’t be
alone,” Jesse said, “you can’t be with
someone. I can’t have you here because I’m scared.
You can’t come here because you’re scared for me.
You understand?”
“Yes.”
They were quiet. Jesse picked up his drink and took a sip. He had switched his scotch from on-the-rocks to with-soda.
“You seeing anybody?” Jesse said.
“No. You?”
“I’m still dating that woman, but
it’s not going anywhere.‘
‘
“Because you don’t trust
her?”
“I guess.”
“Can’t have a relationship with
someone you don’t trust,” Jenn said.
“I know.”
“It must be very hard, Jesse, to be alone in trouble where ‘73 there’s no one to
trust.”
Jesse drank more scotch and soda.
“Yes,” he said.
“Stranger in a strange land,” she
said.
“I want to get them all,” Jesse
said slowly. “Everybody.
I want the town cleaned up. I want to know when I see somebody that they’re not a murderer or an anarchist, or whatever, you know? I want the pleasant little town I thought I was getting when I came here.“
“Maybe that’s more than you can
have,” Jenn said. “I want to find out.”
“Get some help, Jesse.”
“I can’t,” Jesse said.
“I need to do this alone.”
“Are you proving something to me,
Jesse?”
“No.”
“To yourself, then.”
“I guess so.”
“I know you, Jesse,” Jenn said
across the continent, “I know how tough you are. I know how smart you are. If you need to do this, you’ll do it. You won’t lose this, Jesse.”
