“I don’t have a job,” Jennifer
said. Her voice was shaky and he knew that she wasn’t far from crying. “My career is going nowhere. I’m alone, and I’ve lost the only decent thing that ever happened in my life.”
“Meaning me?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not like we’re enemies,
Jenn.”
“Oh, Jesse, I want to see you.”
“Until the next producer comes along?”
“Don’t, Jesse. I need to see
you.”
“Not right now, Jenn. Let things settle. Get yourself or ganized a little before you decide what you need. Maybe you might get some help, a shrink or somebody.”
“I have some friends in therapy,” Jennifer said.
“If you do get help, Jenn, try to get real help. Not some nitwit that reads your aura or does crystal therapy.”
“You think I’m a dreadful fool,
don’t you, Jesse.”
“I think you do foolish things, sometimes, Jenn. I don’t think you’re dreadful.”
They drank. Jesse’s glass was empty; he got up, holding the phone, and refilled his glass with ice and scotch.
“Have you met anyone, Jesse?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love her?”
“Not yet,” Jesse said.
“I still love you, Jesse.”
Across the harbor the lights were fewer now as people went to bed. And the ones that still glowed in the black night were more separate and much farther apart.
“Do you still love me, Jesse?”
“I’m trying not to, Jenn.”
“I know, I don’t blame you. But
I… I don’t like to think about life without you.”
Again Jesse was silent, looking at the disconnected pinpoints of light in the overreaching darkness.
“Can I see you sometime, Jesse?”
“Sure,” Jesse said. “But right
now we both need to be a little separate so we can get our heads back in order, I think.”
“Can I call you again?”
“Sure, Jcnn. You can call me anytime.”
“I still love you, Jesse.”
“Take care of yourself, Jcnn. Don’t do
anything impulsively.
It’s time to go slow and think things through. If you feel crazy, call me up.“
“Are you succeeding?” Jennifer said.
“Succeeding?”
“You said you were trying not to love me, Jesse. Are you succeeding?”
Jesse took a long breath and let it out and drank some scotch.
In the harbor, invisible in the darkness, a bell buoy sounded.
“Not so far, Jenn.”
Room restaurant a block from the town hall having lunch with Abby Taylor.
“Jenn called me the other night,” Jesse said.
“Oh?”
“She bwke up with Elliott.”
“The producer?”
“Yes.”
