The crew smiled. Jesse smiled, too.
“Kerry Roberts with the camera; Dolly Edwards, makeup; and Tracy Mayo, my producer.”
They all said hello.
“You guys pack up and take off,” Jenn told the crew. “I’ll go with Jesse.”
“How about you pack up,” Dolly said. “And I go with Jesse.”
Everybody laughed, and Jenn put her arm through Jesse’s and they walked to his car.
“What about that girl?”
“Billie?”
“You sound like she’s someone you know.”
“Yeah, sometimes you get that way. You spend so much time thinking about a victim that you’re surprised when you remember you’ve never met them.”
“So you know who she is now,” Jenn said.
“I know. I’m not sure I can prove it yet. But I know it’s Billie.”
As he drove, Jesse took a manila envelope down from the car visor and took out a picture of Billie.
“It’s blown up from a small picture of the family.”
“She’s cute,” Jenn said.
“I guess so.”
“Smile looks awfully forced though.”
“Everybody’s smile looks forced in a posed picture,” Jesse said, “except you professionals.”
“That would be me,” Jenn said. “A big-time professional doing weather quizzes in front of a junior high school.”
“Show biz isn’t for sissies,” Jesse said.
They had dinner in Cambridge, at a new restaurant called Oleanna, which Jenn was frantic to try. The restaurant was good, but Jesse knew it meant they probably weren’t going to sleep together. When Jenn was prepared to have sex she always came to Paradise and spent the night with Jesse. He rarely spent the night at her place. Someday, when the balance between them wasn’t so delicate, maybe he’d ask her why. For now he knew it was an evening that would end when he drove her home.
“Have you been drinking lately?” Jenn said in the car.
“Now and then,” Jesse said.
“You didn’t drink anything tonight.”
“No.”
“Why not?” Jenn said.
“Scared to, I guess,” Jesse said.
“Scared of what?”
“Scared it will get out.”
“It?”
“How I feel. I love you. I’m mad at you. I’m jealous. I’m full of, hell, I don’t know, yearning, I guess. I have to keep it in its cage.”
“And you’re afraid if you drink it will jump out.”
“Yeah.”
“So you drink alone?”
“Yeah.”
“So if it gets out there’s no one around.”
Jesse nodded. He could feel Jenn looking at him.
“What I don’t understand,” Jenn said, “is, if you can choose not to drink sometimes, why can’t you choose not to drink all the time?”
“I don’t know.”
They drove over the Longfellow Bridge in silence.
When they reached the Charles Street circle, Jenn said, “You need help with this, Jesse.”
Jesse shrugged.
“You don’t have to start big,” Jenn said. “Maybe just talk to a guy, about drinking.”
“You know a guy?” Jesse said.
“Yes.”
