“You’re an odd case. You’re like me, except
for Jenn. You like sex and companionship, too. But you won’t commit
to a new relationship just to have it. It’s why we get along so
well, neither of us requires commitment from the other.”
Jesse laughed. “Which produces,” he said,
“a kind of commitment
to each other.”
“I suppose so,” Marcy said. “But
not for the same reasons. I am
true to myself. You are true to Jenn.”
“Which may be a way of being true to myself.”
Marcy nodded.
“Or maybe obsessive.”
“There’s that,” Jesse said.
Marcy sipped her coffee, holding the mug in both hands.
“But goddamnit,” she said,
“I’ll give you credit, you are true
to it, whatever the hell it is.”
“Well, the thing is,” Jesse said.
“I love her.”
“That simple,” Marcy said.
Jesse nodded.
“Is there anything Jenn could do that would make you give her
up?” Marcy said.
“She could tell me that she had no further interest in me,”
Jesse said. “If she told me that I’d move on.”
“Which gives her control,” Marcy said.
“I suppose.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“I don’t care about stuff like
that,” Jesse said. “I love her.
We’re still connected. I’ll play it out.”
Marcy drank some coffee, and looked at Jesse for a while, and shook her head slowly. Jesse watched her.
“You have given over the crucial decision of your life to
someone else,” Marcy said. “And what’s so odd is that it seems to
be evidence of your autonomy.”
“Autonomy,” Jesse said.
“Don’t be cute. You know what it
means.”
“Sort of.”
“You feel strongly. You trust what you feel. And you proceed
with it.”
“True,” Jesse said.
“It’s the same in your work. You know what you know, and you do
what you do and you plow along doing it.”
“Like a mule,” Jesse said.
“Or a jackass.”
Jesse smiled.
“Same thing,” he said. “More or
less.”
“If you ever work it out with Jenn, will we still be pals?”
“Sure,” Jesse said.
