“You think I was trying to catch her with a guy?”
“Do you?”
Dix was wearing a black turtleneck sweater today. And gray slacks. His bald head and clean-shaven face were shiny clean. His thick hands were motionless on the arms of his swivel chair, which he had tipped back while he listened to Jesse. His fingernails looked manicured.
“I want to kill anyone she’s
with,” Jesse said. “I feel like
I’ll explode if I don’t.”
“Because …?” Dix said.
“Because I love her.”
“But,” Dix said, “you
don’t kill anyone.”
Jess shrugged and smiled a little.
“Because I love her,” Jesse said.
“You win, you lose,” Dix said.
“You lose, you
lose.”
“Exactly. Ain’t love grand.”
“It might not be love,” Dix said.
Jesse straightened a little in his chair.
“Do shrinks believe in love?” Jesse said.
“I do,” Dix said, “loosely
speaking.”
“I love her,” he said. “If I
know nothing else, I know
that.”
Dix nodded.
“You accept that?” Jesse said.
“Sure,” Dix said. “But almost
everything human operates at more
than one level.”
“You think there’s something else at work?”
“Don’t you?”
Jesse sat for a moment, looking at the palm of his right hand, flexing the fingers.
“I imagine her with them,” Jesse said.
“Having
sex.”
“She ever tell you about it?” Dix said.
“God no,” Jesse said.
“So you don’t know what she’s
doing in fact.”
“I can imagine,” Jesse said.
His voice was hoarse. He cleared it. Dix was entirely still in his chair. Jesse saw that he was wearing black loafers with tassels, and no socks.
“Knowledge is power,” Dix said.
Jesse stared at him. Dix’s face never showed anything. Jesse
folded his hands and sat back in his chair with his elbows resting on the chair arms. The room was quiet. He heard his chair squeak as he shifted in it.
“But I don’t know what she’s
doing,” Jesse said.
“So you invent it,” Dix said.
“Yes,” Jesse said. “I guess I
do.”
